An Unwilling Angel
by Ryan Xavier
Summary: Just a _little_ alteration to the 16th Angel, and you get this.
1. Hold Me Again

DISCLAIMER : None of these characters are my own. Neither is the world  
of Evangelion, the story, the events, the lines, or pretty much   
anything else. It's all owned by GAINAX. In addition, if any of these  
characters or events resemble real-life people or events, that is   
totally unintentional.  
  
  
" " denotes speech  
^ ^ denotes thought  
_ _ denotes emphasis (italics)  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
An Unwilling Angel  
Author : Ryan Xavier  
Prologue : Hold Me Again  
  
It was midafternoon in Tokyo-3 when a knocking came at the door.  
  
The person knocking didn't try the bell; they knew it wouldn't work.   
Not satisfied with waiting, the person on the other side opened the   
unlocked door. The door squeaked loudly on its ungreased hinges. On   
the other side stood Ritsuko Akagi. After pushing the door open wide   
enough to admit her, she slipped inside and let it close behind her.  
  
"Rei?" she called out, stepping into the dirty, unlit apartment that   
was Rei Ayanami's home.  
  
There was no answer. But this was not out of place; Rei rarely spoke,   
even to answer a call. Akagi walked into the apartment, looking back   
and forth for the young girl.  
  
"Rei, where are you? We've got a harmonics test in an hour."  
  
Still no response. Akagi finished checking the apartment over, finding   
that it was empty. It seemed Rei had stepped out for a minute. That   
was odd, in and of itself. She wondered where the girl could have   
gone.  
  
Akagi was about to leave when she saw an envelope sitting on the   
bedroom's small dresser. Interested, she went over and picked it up.   
It wasn't that she disrespected Rei's privacy; she'd just grown used to   
Rei having no concept of privacy. And right now, interest over what   
could be inside this very out-of-place item was overpowering any kind   
of social rules she may have known.  
  
The letter was not sealed. Akagi opened it carefully and removed a   
paper from it. She unfolded it, smoothing it out on the wall. She   
blinked a few times when she saw it was an honest-to-goodness letter,   
not a status report, or anything else Rei might have had in her   
apartment. It was also in Rei's neat, efficient handwriting. Interest   
goaded her on, and she began to read.  
  
"Ikari,  
  
"I do not know why I am writing this now. I suppose the true question   
is why I did not write it earlier. In retrospect, I suppose I should   
have put this to paper some time ago. Why the defeat of the Fifteenth   
Angel should give me the courage to write is something I don't   
understand.  
  
"But I digress. Ikari, I am writing this to tell you that I may not   
survive to see the end of the final Angel. I suppose it could be   
called "woman's intuition," but it is something more. I've seen the   
way the Commander looks at me. We do not talk the way we used to. It   
seems he expects me to die soon.  
  
"At first, this revelation did not bother me. Death is the natural   
course of life; there is no way to escape it. I suppose that is why I   
did not write this earlier. But as time went on, I began to think   
about my doom. There is little I would regret; in all probability I   
would end my life while fighting in Eva. This is the way I would   
prefer to die. But -"  
  
Akagi stopped reading, studying that last word. There was a dot buried   
into the paper just after "But". It seemed Rei had paused after that   
word, and had had to think about what to say next. Satisfied with this   
conclusion, she kept reading.  
  
"But I also discovered some aversion to death. I didn't want to die.   
The thought scared me. This was confusing; I did not know why I should   
be afraid. I didn't realize it until after the Fifteenth Angel. I   
suppose I should explain. After the Fifteenth was destroyed, I was   
outside, watching the repairs to the city begin. When you spoke with   
the Second after the battle, I may not have been near you, but I was   
still within earshot. I heard her words : "the little bitch saved   
_me_". Those words hurt. I understood, by then, what she meant. For   
a moment, I found an insight into who I was. Like all other humans, I   
am defined by my own self-view and by what others think of me. After   
listening to the Second, I realized that very few people even know me,   
and even fewer like me. I've never tried to get to know anyone, as I   
never saw the point. Those I was forced to make the aquaintance of,   
such as Major Katsuragi, see me as an odd individual and ignore me.   
Even the Commander on occasion does not appear genuine with his   
emotions.  
  
"For some time, I found this depressing. I couldn't think of anyone   
who'd ever liked me as a person. I apologize for not thinking of you   
earlier."  
  
Akagi blinked and read that last line again. ^Interesting,^ she   
thought. She kept reading.  
  
"But when I _did_ think of you, I realized that someone, you, actually   
does like me. I began to remember all the times you've shown that you   
care for me. I don't know why something as simple as cleaning my   
apartment should have made such an impression, but it did. Your   
comment, that I would make a good mother, still makes me blush.  
  
"I also remembered that time we first met, in front of Eva-01. I   
remember how you held me in your arms, trying to make the pain from my   
injuries hurt less. I remember how you agreed to pilot the Eva, so   
that I would not die. That memory, that you thought my life was worth   
something, made an impression on me. And it is now why I do not wish   
to die, even though it may very well be inevitable.  
  
"I have never had a reason for contact with anyone but the Commander.   
I have tried to keep my distance, both physically and mentally, since I   
never saw a reason to do otherwise. But over time, I began to feel   
something was lacking. I could see people happy to be in the presence   
of others, but I couldn't understand. I was always the girl no one   
could touch, in all senses of the word.  
  
"I have never actually desired anything. But in the past few days, I   
found that I wanted someone to be close to me, someone to touch me.   
I'm tired of always being alone. When you held me in front of Unit-01,   
for the first time I felt a little safer. I wish you would hold me   
again.  
  
"I don't know if this feeling is what people call "love." I have not   
been able to find a good definition of the word. But in the time I   
have left, I would like to become closer to you, and to explore my   
emotions. You are one of the few people who has ever helped me   
understand what it is I'm feeling. Perhaps I may find the motivation   
to go on living, even when the time comes for me to die.  
  
"If anything, I would at least like to tell you how I feel about you.   
I have never been adept at speaking, and so I thought a letter would   
work better. But having read this over, I am unsure if even this says   
what I wanted to say. I'm sorry; expressing my feelings has always   
been difficult. But this is all I can manage; I doubt I could have   
told you this much by speaking.  
  
"But I know that I" - there was another pause, here - "I hope that you   
feel the same way about me."  
  
The last words became almost sloppy, as though written with a shaking   
hand.  
  
Akagi slowly folded the letter back up and absentmindedly slid it into   
its envelope. She crossed her arms, thinking. This might complicate   
things. She wondered what Gendo would think of it.  
  
The sound of the door opening grabbed her attention. Stifiling a   
curse, Akagi put the letter back on top of the dresser and went towards   
the door. Sure enough, Rei was coming in.  
  
"Rei..." she began.  
  
The girl said nothing, only met her gaze.  
  
"Rei, we've got a test in less than an hour. Usually you're at   
headquarters by now. Where were you?"  
  
"I was taking a walk."  
  
Akagi blinked; Rei _never_ spontaneously went out on a walk, even for   
exercise. She suspected something was up, but she didn't have time to   
pry an answer out of the girl in front of her.  
  
"Fine," she said. "Just be at NERV in time for the test."  
  
"Understood."  
  
Shaking her head a little, Akagi went out the door.  
  
Rei watched the door close, and then she slowly went over to her   
bedroom. She looked at herself in the tiny mirror taped to the wall.  
  
What she'd told Ritsuko had not been a total lie. She _had_ indeed   
gone for a walk, but it she had been headed somewhere. She'd wanted to   
visit Ikari-kun, to try and talk to him. The feeling of dread towards   
her coming death kept growing, and she knew she just _had_ to tell him   
how she felt before then. Otherwise, she'd die regretting something in   
her life.  
  
But she hadn't been able to. About halfway to the apartment, her   
footsteps had slowed, eventually coming to a stop. She hadn't been   
able to go on. A million worries had crept into her head. What if he   
laughed at her for feeling like this? What if he didn't like her back?   
What if he saw her as just another pilot, someone he worked with and   
nothing more? Rei had never been nervous before in her life, but she'd   
definitely been nervous then. Unable to handle the new sensation,   
she'd turned and come back.  
  
Straightening out her hair a little, she turned and walked over to the   
dresser, looking at the letter resting on top of it. Maybe she could   
give this to him. She'd written it days ago, but had been unable to   
take it with her to NERV, for the same reasons she'd been unable to get   
to his apartment. But she just _had_ to get these feelings into the   
open...  
  
She reached for the letter. But just as her fingers were about to   
touch it, her hand stopped, shaking a little. The worries came back.   
No, this was a stupid idea. She couldn't tell him. Not yet, anyway.  
  
With an almost-inaudible sigh, Rei turned and walked out of her   
apartment. Back to life as normal. 


	2. Is This a Tear?

DISCLAIMER : None of this belongs to me. The characters, story,   
universe, lines, etc. of Evangelion belongs to GAINAX and whoever they   
sold the rights to.   
  
Foreword : I won't waste much of your time, but I figured I should warn   
you: do not, I repeat do NOT read this thing if you haven't seen   
Episodes 23 and 24. If you don't want any spoilers, you should watch   
the other episodes while you're at it (with the exception of 25 and   
26).  
  
For those of you interested in when this starts, the first section   
starts at some point before Episode 23. People who've seen the series   
should recognize that the second scene is in Episode 23. From there,   
the timeline follows as naturally as I could make it.  
  
One final warning : There is a little darkness in this fic. There is   
also a little coarse language.  
  
Okay, now I'll shut up and give you what you're here for.  
  
  
  
" " denotes speech  
^ ^ denotes thought  
_ _ denotes emphasis (italics)  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
An Unwilling Angel   
Author : Ryan Xavier  
Part 1 : "Is This a Tear?"  
  
Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki read the next line on the paper in front in his   
hands. He stopped. Then he went back and read it again. And then a   
third time, just to be sure. He turned to the man seated at the desk   
next to him.  
  
"Is this correct?" he asked.  
  
"Is what correct?" asked the man, not bothering to turn his head.  
  
"The next part in the scenario. It says Rei will - "  
  
"There is no error, Fuyutsuki."  
  
"Ikari, why? You've shown nothing but care for that girl."  
  
"I thought you were better at reading people," Gendo Ikari replied, his   
eyes turning to look at his aging associate. "In any case, now that   
the Fifteenth Angel has been defeated, Rei's purpose is nearly at an   
end. This iteration of the First Child is only scheduled to survive up   
to the Sixteenth Angel."  
  
"I thought she was supposed to start Instrumentality, Ikari."  
  
"That remains her primary purpose. But there are too many variables   
with this second Rei. She's been alive much too long, and is no longer   
as predictable as I would prefer. You've read Dr. Akagi said about   
her...feelings, correct?"  
  
^Funny, I never would have thought Rei could feel that way about the   
Third Child,^ Fuyutsuki thought. ^Actually, I never would have thought   
she'd feel, period. I wonder if Ikari's son knows.^  
  
"And in any case," Gendo continued, "I trust you've also seen Doctor   
Akagi's profile on the predicted form of the Sixteenth."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Contact with the Angel will complete Rei's baseline construction, with   
a certainty of over ninety percent. Of course, then she will no longer   
be what we need for Instrumentality. Akagi has also assured me that   
the third Rei will be perfect."  
  
"She'll be an Angel, then?"  
  
"Not a natural one, but one we made. Rei III will be just the thing   
for Instrumentality. And it would not do to have two Reis in   
existence."  
  
Fuyutsuki hung his head. He'd learned a long time ago that arguing   
with Gendo Ikari on the subject of Third Impact would be a wasted   
effort. As such, silence reigned in the office for several minutes.  
  
"I'm sure SEELE will be able to make use of Rei II's remains," Gendo   
finally added.  
  
Fuyutsuki looked at the other man again. "What do you mean?"  
  
Gendo's mouth curled into his signature smirk. "I mean that everything   
has been following that schedule, Fuyutsuki, and there's no reason for   
you to worry."  
  
Fuyutsuki suddenly found he was even more worried than before.  
  
***  
  
Rei's body contorted in pain as she felt the Angel pushing deeper into   
her. Her ever-logical mind determined that the Angel was somehow   
upping her synch ratio with the Eva to an impossible number, meaning   
she experienced everything the machine felt. In other words, the Angel   
was invading _her_ just as it was invading her Eva's body. As the   
pain receded for a moment, she looked down at the vein-like patterns   
crawling up her torso.  
  
And it was invading her mind, as well. That conversation she'd had   
with...herself would have been interesting, given different   
circumstances. Unfortnately, she knew that she would lose that mental   
battle with time. The Angel would invade her mind, and it would be   
within her. It would _be_ her. And so her mission would fail.  
  
Her mission could not fail. She had never given up, period. Since   
fighting it in a conventional manner would take too long, there was   
only one logical course of action. But...she didn't want to do it.   
Why? She knew there was some very important reason, but she couldn't   
recall it. The Angel was now so far into her that it was scrambling   
her thoughts. She couldn't remember why she wanted to live.  
  
Droplets of water fell onto her plugsuit glove. Her eyes widened as   
she realized what they were.   
  
"Is this a tear? Am I the one who is crying?"  
  
She'd never cried before. What did the tears mean? She wanted to   
know, but there was no time to study them. The Angel was pushing   
further into her. She had to eliminate it, _now_.  
  
^No,^ she thought. ^There's got to be another way. I...don't want to   
die.^  
  
^Why?^ came another voice. It sounded like her own voice, but she   
recognized it as the Angel's.  
  
^I...^ she tried to respond. ^I...don't want to die, not now...I   
still...I want to...^  
  
^You have no reason to avoid it. Death is the natural course of life.^  
  
^But I still...I want...^ she tried for all she was worth to remember.  
  
***  
  
Fuyutsuki watched it unfold, then glanced down to Gendo. ^Christ, he's   
really going to go through with it,^ he thought to himself. Meanwhile,   
Rei continued to struggle with the Angel, trying in vain to pull it out   
of her Eva.  
  
"It seems she's hesitating," Fuyutsuki commented.  
  
"Indeed," Gendo said. "She may need some motivation."  
  
The Commander raised his voice and called down to the bridge crew.  
  
"Unit-01's locked status is hereby removed. Deploy it immediately."  
  
***  
  
Rei's screen registered a new arrival on the battlefield. She looked   
at it, immediately recognizing Unit-01's gigantic form.  
  
Her eyes widened. "Ikari-kun!" she called out. At the same time,   
the Angel's free end lanced out towards Unit-01.  
  
"Does my soul wish to become one with Ikari-kun?" she wondered aloud,   
watching the purple Eva dodge out of the way.  
  
There was no time for reflection, though. Ikari-kun was going to   
fight, to try to save her. But he would fail, too. The Angel would   
invade both of them. She couldn't just let it happen.  
  
She got out of her seat and engaged the switch on the floor of her   
cockpit. The controls extended.  
  
"Rei, abandon Unit-00! Evacuate!" came a voice at the radio.  
  
"No. I can't do it," Rei responded. "I must stay to keep the AT field   
in effect. Therefore, I won't retreat."   
  
She had to keep the Angel in place, for this to work. One last act to   
protect Ikari-kun. Why was she still crying? This was just completing   
the mission. There was no way the Angel would survive an Eva self-  
destruct.  
  
She hit the switch, without hesitation.  
  
As the Eva's engine went to critical speeds, Rei remained certain that   
this was the best choice, given her options. She turned back to face   
the Angel, holding it in place. She felt the engine tear itself apart   
and finally detonate.  
  
Rei only had a moment left before the explosion hit her. In that   
moment, her mind was suddenly filled with one image : Gendo Ikari,   
smiling a real smile at her. It was one of her strongest memories.   
He'd been happy to see her...  
  
She gasped as she figured it out. He'd been happy to see her because   
she'd had a purpose. He'd been happy to see her...because he'd known   
she would eventually do what she was doing right now.  
  
In the space of a nanosecond, everything fell into place, little things   
she'd been ignoring because she hadn't wanted to realize what they   
meant. But she realized it now. That Gendo Ikari had never actually   
cared for her. She had always been his...doll, as the Second Child had   
said. And here she was, ending her life as a doll, one that before now   
hadn't even known it was a doll.  
  
More tears fell, as she figured it out. No one had ever actually cared   
for her. She'd never really had a reason to live.  
  
But, as her last moments drew to a close, another face hit her mind :   
the younger Ikari. In the image she saw, he was crying, like she was   
now. It was from back after the Fifth Angel. He...had cared for her.   
He had honestly been worried. He had never shown any of the signs the   
older Ikari had shown. He had wanted...to be her friend.  
  
Those images jogged her memory; she finally remembered why she didn't   
want to die. Unfortunately, it was much too late. Rei closed her   
eyes, curling up and concentrating on that last image of Shinji Ikari,   
as she felt the world turn to flame around her.  
  
Just as the explosion touched her body, Rei felt something happen   
within her, starting from the Angel's invasion of her, and spreading   
outwards.   
  
And then it was all light.  
  
***  
  
Ritsuko Akagi led the recovery team through the field of desolation   
caused by the joint death of Unit-00 and the Sixteenth Angel. They all   
wore sealed lead suits to guard against any residual radiation. There   
wasn't much left of anything. It looked like Tokyo-3, the fortress   
city, had finally fallen...to one of its defenders. Had Akagi wanted   
to waste her time on philosphy, she could have seen the irony in this.  
  
But as it was, she was all business as their target, Eva-00's entry   
plug, came into view. Akagi had helped design the Evas, but she was   
still amazed that after an explosion of _that_ magnitude, the plug was   
still recognizable. Of course, it was still destroyed : the explosion   
had twisted its formerly cylindrical shape into a bent hunk of metal.   
But anyone familiar with the Evas would be able to instantly recognize   
it as an entry plug, nonetheless.  
  
"Get to work," she ordered, as they reached the plug. The workers   
immediately went to work cutting it open with a torch. Everyone there   
knew what they were there for : to dig out whatever was left of Rei   
Ayanami and bring it back to headquarters. It was an ugly, dirty job,   
but...well, it just hadn't yet been Rei's time to die.  
  
While the plug was being cut open, Akagi took a look around and started   
running the data over in her mind. The Eva self-destruct system was,   
by its nature, not something they'd tested very often. But from the   
readings the MAGI had collected, it appeared Eva-00 had detonated   
almost exactly the way it had been built to.  
  
The only thing that concerned her was the sudden spike in the blue   
pattern just a few microseconds prior to the explosion. The Angel's AT   
field had suddenly increased in strength, not that that was a real   
surprise. If it had been as intertwined with Eva-00 as it had appeared   
to be, then it would have felt the explosion coming and tried to   
protect itself. But the way the blue pattern looked, it was almost as   
though _another_ AT field had been in existence, in addition to the   
ones from the Eva and the Angel. It hadn't lasted very long, but it   
had been there, nonetheless. Unfortunately, the data were not exact   
enough to say just where the field had been coming from.  
  
"Akagi-san," one of the men called out. Ritsuko looked up as she heard   
the torch shut off. More men approached, and pried off the portion of   
the plug they'd cut away. Akagi was there as soon as the piece of   
metal came away. She looked inside, figuring she should get it over   
with. Dead bodies could still disgust her, and she needed to get the   
disgust out of her system as soon as possible.  
  
Ritsuko Akagi had seen and done some very strange things in her life.   
She'd seen Angels the size of skyscrapers fight similarly-sized Evas of   
her own creation. She'd seen one of said Evas move without power. And   
not too long ago, she'd seen an Eva literally _eat_ an Angel. But by   
then, she had almost been expecting something like that to happen.   
There were very few things that could surprise Ritsuko Akagi.  
  
This was one of them.  
  
Her eyes widened as she looked inside the tortured entry plug. She   
would have believed anything else, from an empty plug to a plug   
spattered with bloody pieces. But the one thing she couldn't believe   
was what she saw : Rei Ayanami, lying there calmly, sleeping. And very   
much alive.  
  
Some of the men crowded in to get a good look for themselves. They all   
showed various degrees of shock. Akagi took a second to compose   
herself before standing up straight again. She had to keep a level   
composition in front of her subordinates.  
  
"Keep this top secret," she said to the foreman. "Retrieve the plug   
and destroy all the parts."  
  
"Roger," came the response. "Let's go! Hurry up!"  
  
As the men went back to work, Ritsuko took out a handheld radio and   
asked the operator to patch her through to the Commander. As she   
waited, Akagi looked up at the clear sky, trying to think things   
through.  
  
"Uh...ma'am?"  
  
Akagi looked at the man who'd interrupted her thoughts. "What?" she   
bit out.  
  
"What do we do with her? I mean, she's...uh, you know."  
  
Akagi resisted the urge to throw up her hands and shout out that she   
didn't know. She needed to remain calm, or no one would.  
  
"Get her out," she replied. "And check to see she's all right," she   
added on, almost impulsively. She surprised herself with the concern   
that entered into her voice. Rei was just a tool. Come to think of   
it, this might interfere with the next Rei's activation. But...Akagi   
couldn't help changing her opinion - slightly - looking at the girl.   
Tool or not, Rei was still a person, and didn't deserve to be left   
sitting in a useless plug like that.  
  
The man nodded and went about the task of carefully removing the pale   
girl.  
  
***  
  
In her mind, Rei was slowly returning to consciousness. She didn't   
know what had happened. She currently didn't even know if she was   
alive. But, for a moment, the Angel had seemed to win. With one last   
push, it had taken her mind from her. But even when that had happened,   
she'd still been conscious. It had just been as though two entities   
were in her instead of just herself. And she'd felt the Angel react,   
somehow...  
  
But it had been too late for the Angel, in any case. Now...the   
presence of the Angel in her mind was slowly receding, and she was   
coming back to herself. Apparently, she'd succeded in killing it.  
  
^Mission failed...mission failed...^ came the Angel's voice in her   
mind. It was still using Rei's own voice to speak.  
  
^How can you still exist?^ Rei thought-asked it, as she reasserted   
control.  
  
^I exist...I exist...mission failed...^  
  
Rei did her best to ignore it. It seemed the Angel's mind was   
shattered, and slowly decomposing. But...how had it been before now?   
Even when it had fully entered into her mind, it had been more like a   
companion than a tyrant. In fact, it had wanted to help her. More   
specifically, it had acted on her desire to live. She'd heard it   
mumble something that had sounded like "AT Field full strength",   
something she'd said while fighting the Fourteenth Angel. Why would it   
have said that?  
  
She felt herself regaining consciousness as the Angel finally   
disappeared forever.  
  
***  
  
"Kill her," Gendo Ikari ordered, over the radio.  
  
"Sir, you can't be serious. This is an amazing find. I'd like to   
study her to see how she has managed this - "  
  
"That's unimportant, Doctor. Rei II is to have died fighting this   
Angel, is that understood? If she is alive now, then she is much too   
dangerous to remain in existence."  
  
"But sir - "  
  
"I don't recall asking for your criticism. And you know more than   
anyone that we can't activate the next Rei without this one's soul. Do   
it."  
  
The radio switched off. Akagi clenched her free hand into a fist.   
Everything just _had_ to follow his schedule. What was so vitally   
important that it would merit killing a 14-year old girl?  
  
^She's not a girl,^ Akagi thought, pocketing the radio. ^She's just a   
creation. And Ikari's right. If the Angel _did_ invade her body,   
then...^  
  
She looked up as she heard one of the men cry out in surprise. She   
walked over to the man, immediately noticing Rei's eyes were open, and   
the girl was sitting up, looking a little dazed.  
  
"She just got up! I didn't do nothin'!" the man was saying.  
  
"It's fine," Akagi said in a cold voice. "Now get back to work."  
  
The man nodded once and jogged back to the entry plug, which his fellow   
workers were currently dismantling, piece by piece.  
  
Akagi looked down at Rei.  
  
"Can you move?" she asked, bluntly.  
  
Rei looked at her, a short delay passing before recognition flickered   
through her red eyes. Then, the girl nodded and stood up, not   
bothering to brush the dirt out of her hair.  
  
Akagi looked over her shoulder at the men. Too many witnesses here.   
She'd need to find another place.  
  
"Come with me, Rei," she said, as she started walking away from the   
site.  
  
"Yes, sir," came Rei's soft voice.  
  
The men asked where she was going. Akagi simply called over her   
shoulder that she would be back in a moment. The men seemed to take   
this as a legitimate answer. For some reason, this made Akagi angry.   
She figured it out quickly : she wanted someone to stop her. She   
didn't want to have to kill this girl. There wasn't a real reason to.   
Maybe if Ikari would let her see that schedule of his, she could   
understand. Or maybe she'd be all the more opposed to it; there was no   
way to tell.  
  
Akagi led, and Rei followed close behind. They eventually got out of   
sight of the men, moving behind a few trees that were still standing.   
Akagi pulled off the suit's gloves, then reached up and removed her   
helmet, satisfied that there was no danger from radiation. Rei, with   
no protection except for her plug suit, seemed to be doing fine.  
  
"You know what he asked me to do?" she asked, out loud. Her hand went   
into the suit's frontal pocket.  
  
She heard Rei mumble something in the affirmative.  
  
"Aren't you going to run away?"  
  
"Why?" Rei asked.  
  
Akagi clenched her jaw and turned around to face the girl. Her hand   
came out of the pocket, carrying the small pistol she owned.  
  
"Because if you don't, you're going to die. Don't you understand?"  
  
Rei nodded.  
  
"So why don't you run?"  
  
"I would not escape," came the near-monotone voice Akagi was quickly   
growing to hate. "I'm weakend from my recovery, and would not be able   
to get far enough away that you would miss. For the same reason, I   
cannot attempt to attack you."  
  
Akagi cursed under her breath. Why did Rei always have to be right?   
She flicked the safety off and pulled the hammer back with her thumb.  
  
"I'm only doing what he wanted me to do," Akagi said, as she pointed   
the gun at Rei's head. Rei didn't flinch in the slightest.  
  
"So was I," the girl responded, her eyes boring into Akagi's with   
incredible intensity.  
  
Akagi heard the words, but didn't try to understand them. She didn't   
want to understand them. She feared that if she did, she would want to   
use this gun on herself instead.  
  
She hesitated. Basic morals were trying to keep her from killing Rei.   
But...Gendo had ordered her to do it. The Commander. The man who   
meant more to Ritsuko than she would ever let on. She couldn't let him   
down, because that would mean losing him. She didn't want that to   
happen.  
  
She met Rei's gaze. In the girl's face, she could see another woman.   
The woman that truly held Gendo's heart, leaving Ritsuko with the   
dregs. The same woman her mother had seen in Rei. Suddenly, it became   
much easier to pull the trigger.  
  
A gunshot rang out across the landscape.  
  
When the sound had died off, both of them were still standing.  
  
For the second time in the day, Akagi was surprised. Her eyes widening   
ever so slightly, she looked at her arm as though it had betrayed her.   
At the last second, she had flinched, and aimed upwards to shoot over   
Rei's head. The bullet was imbedded in a tree somewhere behind the   
girl. Cursing at her own weakness, Akagi took aim again, swearing that   
she wouldn't miss this time.  
  
Her finger wouldn't move. Watching Rei standing calmly right in front   
of her, Akagi just couldn't pull the trigger. As much as Ritsuko tried   
to see Yui in that face, she could only see the girl that had written   
that letter from the other day. The repressed girl, who understood so   
little, but who wanted so badly to understand. Why did this have to be   
so difficult? What was so terrible?  
  
She gave up, and pocketed the gun, the suit's insulation protecting her   
from the hot muzzle. "Go," she muttered, looking at the ground. "Get   
out of my sight. And don't let anyone see you."  
  
Rei said nothing. She merely turned, and started walking away.   
Ritsuko watched the girl for a brief moment. Just as she looked away,   
Rei looked over her shoulder. Ritsuko quickly looked back, but Rei had   
already turned her head back to face forwards. But Ritsuko could have   
sworn Rei had looked just a little...grateful.  
  
"I'm just an idiot," Akagi thought, as she pulled her helmet and gloves   
back on. She began to walk back to the work area.  
  
As she walked, she pulled out her radio again, and called a new person.  
  
"Hello, Maya?" she asked. "Yes...uh huh. Look, I need you to run a   
program for me. It's on Melchior. The name is Conception...No,   
actually only Commander Ikari has the password. You'll need to use   
that back door I showed you...Of course you should keep it a secret.   
No one else should know about this...Uh huh. Good. I'll be back in a   
few hours."  
  
***  
  
A few days later, Doctor Akagi was showing no sign of her previous   
trepidation. She stood next to Gendo Ikari, as they both looked at the   
machinery working in front of them.  
  
"I trust this version is as promised," Ikari said, after a while.  
  
Ritsuko nodded. "We've made great advances since the first version.   
This iteration is almost a perfect clone of the Angel down in Terminal   
Dogma. We didn't have to use any human DNA to supplement it, this   
time."  
  
"Good. So it has a core, then?"  
  
"Yes," Ritsuko said, quite certain of her answer. "An S2 engine, just   
as promised." That one part had been what had been holding her back.   
An S2 on this scale was much easier to make than an Eva-sized one, but   
it had still taken years, with many, many failures along the way.  
  
"Perfect," Gendo said. "Activate it, Akagi."  
  
Ritsuko nodded. She took a remote control out of her pocket, and   
looked at it for just a moment. Then she hit one of the many buttons   
on the device.  
  
"Soul transfer initiated," a computerized voice stated.  
  
A cylinder lit up in front of them. It was full of LCL, just like an   
Eva entry plug. But this cylinder was transparent. And in it floated   
a naked Rei Ayanami.  
  
"Soul transfer complete," the same voice said, after several minutes.  
  
Rei III opened her eyes.  
  
***  
  
Gendo Ikari was not in his standard position, seated behind his desk.   
Instead, he was standing on a catwalk above one of the enormous Eva   
gantries, speaking on his cellular phone. The gantry he stood over was   
empty; it had been Unit-00's.  
  
"You found nothing?" he asked, his voice betraying none of his   
surprise. "Very well. Return here for a debriefing."  
  
He folded up the phone and leaned forwards on the railing to the   
catwalk. His hands clenched tightly on the railing, until his knuckles   
turned white.  
  
"Damn..." he said to the air.  
  
He heard two steps of footsteps come up his side. He turned his head   
slightly to look. Coming up on him were Ritsuko Akagi, and Rei. Rei   
was dressed in her school uniform and wrapped in bandages. There was   
nothing damaged underneath the wrappings, but she had been ordered to   
wear them, so she would. Appearances needed to be kept up; people   
didn't just sit through an Eva explosion and come out unharmed.  
  
So far, it looked like Rei was being accepted by the members of NERV.   
Some people had noticed a few oddities, namely the holes in her   
memories, but they were inconsequential. Of course, Gendo's son Shinji   
had also encountered the new Rei. According to Shinji's guardian, the   
boy had come running when he'd heard Rei had "survived". But Shinji   
had realized very quickly that this was not the Rei he knew. Shinji   
had been the closest thing Rei had ever had to an actual friend. And   
if what Rei had told Akagi was right, she had wanted to get even   
closer.  
  
Gendo shook his head and turned to face Akagi. What Rei II had thought   
didn't matter anymore. What his son thought was inconsequential, too.   
Just one more Angel to go, and then it would all be over.  
  
"Sir," Akagi said respectfully, nodding a little.  
  
"How's the work with Rei going?" Gendo immediately began, not bothering   
with any of the usual pleasantries.  
  
"It seems she's responding well to activation, and is re-integrating   
well. Her memories didn't carry over entirely, but they're   
sufficient."  
  
Gendo stood up straight and looked at Ritsuko. "I trust you told her   
what she is?"  
  
Akagi nodded. "Yes, as ordered. Nothing will be kept from Rei, this   
time."  
  
"Good." Gendo started walking slowly towards her. "Is that all?"  
  
"Well, that's all for now, unless you want me to study her potential   
for piloting Eva."  
  
"Perhaps later." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Dr. Akagi, do you   
know who just called me?"  
  
Ritsuko stared at him for a moment, then shook her head.  
  
"I've just received a call from my second recovery team," Gendo   
continued, walking past her and looking off another side of the   
catwalk. "You know what they found?"  
  
He saw Akagi stiffen a little out of the corner of his eye. That   
confirmed his suspicion of what had happened. Yet another person who   
had betrayed him, who had broken when they should have held.  
  
"What, sir?" Akagi asked, her voice remaining even. Gendo didn't reply   
immediately; he let the Akagi wait for a while, letting her wonder what   
he was thinking.  
  
"Nothing," he said. "Nothing at all. Interesting, isn't it?" He   
turned his head towards Ritsuko. "No body, no trace of a struggle or a   
death. Just a single bullet in a tree trunk."  
  
"Why'd you send a second team?" Ritsuko asked, her resolve faltering.  
  
"Because you didn't bring back what I needed," Gendo replied, evenly.   
"Now, tell me. How is it a young girl dies in the woods outside of   
Tokyo-3, and leaves no trace?"  
  
"Sir...I thought all you needed was her soul, for the new body. I   
brought that much back, and destroyed the rest."  
  
"Which is why you ran the Conception program, then?"  
  
Again, Ritsuko stiffened. Gendo shook his head. "Of course I know,"   
he said. "Very clever, spawning a new soul from Terminal Dogma,   
instead of bringing back the old one. I suppose you supplemented Rei's   
memories with the recordings we made for the Dummy Plug?"  
  
Ritsuko remained silent. She didn't see a reason to say anything.   
Gendo nodded, seeing this as confirmation of what he'd said. He looked   
back over the catwalk, down to the ground several dozen stories below.  
  
Akagi seemed to shrug it off. "Now, as for the tests on Rei," she   
began. "With her new constitution, she can pretty much pick and choose   
her synchro - "  
  
She was cut off as Gendo took her firmly in his arms and forced a kiss   
on her lips. She resisted at first, by reflex, but then relented, and   
let him have his way, just as she always had.  
  
She gasped as Gendo pushed her backwards against the railing. He broke   
the kiss and pushed her further, until she was leaning halfway over the   
railing. To the side, Rei watched dispationnately.  
  
Gendo stared coldly at Ritsuko's face. "It would be truly tragic for   
the main NERV scientist to fall from an Eva gantry, would it not?" He   
pushed her a little further, until her balance shifted and the only   
thing keeping Ritsuko from falling was Gendo's own arm strength. The   
clipboard fell out of her grasp, falling a tremendous distance before   
shattering on the ground, and sending its papers flying. Ritsuko   
didn't scream; to do so would have meant him dropping her, she was   
sure.  
  
Gendo leaned closer to her. "I suggest you take a cue from Rei," he   
said, quietly. "You do what you're ordered to."  
  
At that, he pulled back, bringing Akagi with him. He deposited her on   
her feet, and watched her sink to her knees.  
  
"Weak," he said, commenting on her reaction. "But you will not disobey   
me again. If Rei II survived, she must have been completed. You know   
what that means."  
  
Akagi managed a shaky nod.  
  
"If it's so important to you, I need her core. It's a vital part to   
the plan, Doctor. And I've come too far to have someone like _you_   
destroy it."  
  
When Ritsuko didn't respond, he turned and walked off, heading back to   
his office.  
  
After Gendo had left, Ritsuko managed to get up, using the railing for   
support. She watched the door at the far end of the gantry close   
behind him. Soon afterwards, she turned and threw up over the railing,   
emptying her stomach. She felt tears leave her eyes, falling down to   
the ground below.  
  
She sank down again, falling into a sitting position and leaning   
against the railing. She didn't move or speak for a long moment.  
  
The moment was broken when Rei walked up next to her. The bandaged   
girl looked down at her in an almost-disapproving way.  
  
"Do you have further use of me?" the girl asked, her voice painfully   
similar to the voice of the Rei from the forest.  
  
Ritsuko managed to shake her head. "Just leave," she said, secretly   
hoping Rei would take her literally and walk right out of Tokyo-3,   
never to return. She'd had enough of this.  
  
^Why did I ever choose Ikari, anyway?^ she thought, watching Rei leave.   
  
"I mean nothing to him," she said to herself. "He doesn't..." she   
trailed off. She waited until Rei had left the gantry, leaving her   
alone, before she tried saying it again.  
  
"He doesn't...love me."  
  
She blinked after saying it. She knew it was true. She'd probably   
always known. But she'd put up with it, taking comfort in his arms,   
since it was the easiest way to escape, to find a feeling of security.  
  
"A real man doesn't ask people to kill little girls," she mumbled to   
herself, as tears started running down her cheeks. It hurt, realizing   
this, but she'd known this day would come, eventually. Just not so   
soon...  
  
She looked at the ceiling. "Rei..." she mumbled. "I...I'm sorry."  
  
***  
  
In the descending darkness, Rei slowly moved through the remains of the   
forest around Tokyo-3. She wore her white plugsuit, which still bore   
the signs of the Sixteenth Angel's attack, as well as signs of normal   
wear and tear from travelling.  
  
She'd been walking for days now, trying to find her way. She was lost,   
and she knew it. It was a new feeling, being lost. She'd never gone   
anywhere "just for the hell of it". The list of places she went to was   
exceedingly short : her apartment, school, and NERV were pretty much   
it. She'd been to a few other places, of course, but those were mostly   
one-time-only events, and she'd made sure she'd known exactly how to   
get there before going. And so...she had no idea of how to cope with   
being lost.  
  
So for the past few days, she'd been doing the only logical thing she   
could think of : walking in as straight a line as she could, hoping she   
would eventually come upon something she recognized. But so far, it   
had just been trees, trees, trees, and more trees. She'd changed   
directions a few times, when the way she'd been going had seemed to be   
the wrong one.  
  
In addition to the new experience of not knowing where she was, she   
felt different inside. As the Angel had collapsed within her, she'd   
felt it...compress, somehow, draw together in her stomach. It felt   
as though a large ice cube were in there, melting but never getting   
smaller. Even when the Angel's mind had finally fallen apart, the   
feeling had not receded. It was quite...intriguing.  
  
At least she didn't feel tired. Actually, over the days of her   
traveling, Rei had never once wanted to lie down. Neither had she felt   
hungry. Both of those were plusses; she'd been told not to let anyone   
see her. And if sleep and food were no longer on the list of   
essentials, then it was that much easier to remain hidden.  
  
Another new feeling was this...pull, of sorts. As though an intangible   
hand were gently trying to drag her in one direction. Rei didn't   
understand it, but she'd decided to ignore it for a while, figuring it   
was one of the lingering effects of the Angel's assault. However, the   
feeling had not receded. In fact, it had gotten stronger, to the point   
where it was more like an order than just a faint suggestion. She'd   
never been one to disobey orders, and in any case, one direction was as   
good as another right now.  
  
Her thoughts were focused solely on putting distance between herself   
and the recovery team for Unit-00. However, she couldn't keep rogue   
thoughts from entering into her mind. Like that Unit-00, formerly her   
main reason for living, was now gone. And that a fair portion of   
Tokyo-3 was gone with it. And that everyone thought her dead, although   
she was not. She did her best not to be bothered by these things.  
  
She finally came to the edge of the forest, and began to see buildings   
appearing. Although the sun had set a few minutes ago, she still   
quickly recognized the structures as the above-ground elements of NERV,   
and the entrance to the Geofront underneath what remained of the city.  
  
^Now why would I want to come here?^ she thought. ^Why would I be   
getting pulled in this direction?^  
  
She sat down and thought about it for a while. ^Perhaps the Commander   
has some sort of recall system, in case I become lost.^  
  
"You're searching for Adam."  
  
Rei's looked up quickly to face the new speaker. She was quickly   
looking at...herself.  
  
She had no idea of where she - the other Rei - had come from. One   
second, Rei had been all alone, and the next, here was another one of   
her. There were many differences, though. For one, this new Rei was   
dressed in the usual school uniform, even though the school had been   
destroyed. She was also wearing several bandages, which Rei recognized   
were in the exact same positions as the ones she'd been wearing back   
before the Fourth Angel had been destroyed. But that face...it was a   
perfect copy of what Rei looked like.  
  
"Who are you?" Rei asked. The only thing she could think of was that   
this gave a whole new meaning to 'talking to yourself.'  
  
"I am Rei Ayanami," the bandaged Rei replied.  
  
"That cannot be true," Rei said, standing up and looking at the one   
visible red eye on the other girl. "I am Rei Ayanami."  
  
The bandaged Rei began walking in a slow circle around the plug-suited   
Rei.  
  
"You are the second," the bandaged Rei began. "And I am the third. We   
are both Rei Ayanami."  
  
Rei II turned to follow her double's progress. "What do you mean?" she   
asked, interested. She also felt another emotion : fear. She didn't   
know how to deal with this feeling, and so she shut it out.  
  
"I am your replacement," Rei III said, continuing her circle. "You   
were believed to have been terminated by the Eva self-destruct." The   
truly frightening thing was that she kept her voice even the whole   
time.  
  
"I did not die," Rei II replied. "I...lived. But I don't know how."  
  
A flurry of thoughts were quickly going through her head. ^They told   
me I could be replaced, that I wasn't special. But I always assumed   
that meant they would find the next Child in the event of my death.   
They had...a spare _me_?^  
  
"You do not know?" Rei III asked, stopping her circling and tilting her   
head a little. "I would assume the answer is obvious."  
  
Rei II blinked. The answer was _not_ obvious, and the feelings of   
inadequacy were making her even more afraid. Perhaps this copy of her   
was in fact an _improved_ version, meant to replace an obsolete Rei?  
  
Rei III closed the distance between them and tapped Rei II on the   
stomach. "You carry the core of the 17th Angel, Ayanami."  
  
Rei II blinked again. "I don't understand."  
  
"Then..." Rei III stared at her clone, thinking. "Then you were not   
informed of your makeup."  
  
Rei II shook her head.  
  
"The Ayanamis are an effort to create an artificial form of the beings   
known as Angels," Rei III began, in the same monotone. "The First was   
an experimental version, and highly imperfect. It needed to be   
supplemented with DNA from a human donor."  
  
Rei II listened, silently wishing her double wouldn't call this   
'First' an 'it'. She also wondered who this human donor had been.  
  
"The Second was a joint entity, created in conjunction with Eva Unit-  
00. It was a regression in some ways, in that it was over fifty   
percent human whereas the First had been only thirty percent. Most of   
the Angel genes were integrated into the Eva itself."  
  
^I'm bonded to it...^ Rei II thought. That had been her answer when   
Ikari - the pilot, not the Commander - had asked her why she piloted   
Eva. She'd just been reciting something Dr. Akagi had told her, that   
time. It looked like Dr. Akagi had known much more than what she'd   
said.  
  
Rei II looked at the ground, thinking. "And now half of my life is   
gone..." she mumbled to herself. She wanted to believe what she was   
hearing was a lie, but she found that to be impossible. She felt   
certain that her other self was telling her the hard truth.  
  
"Negative," Rei III answered, in the same emotionless tone. "It was   
predicted that when you terminated the Angel by destroying your Eva,   
the relevant essence of the Eva moved into you through your enhanced   
link to it. The Second is no longer a joint being, but a single   
entity."  
  
"But..." Rei II tried to say. It was a little too much to take in all   
at once. An ordinary person probably would have passed out or run away   
by now. ^I'm not human, though, am I...^ she thought.  
  
"But," Rei II tried, again, "But I don't...don't have the core of an   
Angel..." She sank to her knees, knowing the truth to be otherwise.  
  
"Again, negative," Rei III asked, looking down passively at her   
predecessor. "The invasion of the Sixteenth into your body, as well as   
the infusion of Unit-00, have completed your base constitution. An   
Angel core has manifested itself within your body."  
  
Rei II hugged herself, right over where she could still feel that cold   
lump, sitting in her abdomen. ^Is that...it?^  
  
"The core is why you are alive," Rei III said, turning her gaze towards   
NERV.  
  
"An AT field..." Rei II said, softly, as it clicked in her mind. "I   
generated one, to preserve myself."  
  
Rei III didn't respond.  
  
"And so...I'm an Angel." She fell backwards, sitting down hard.  
  
Rei III waited patiently as her clone thought it over. She looked   
impationnately at the NERV buildings, studying them at this distance.   
She heard a sob, but didn't turn. When more sobs followed, however,   
she did turn.  
  
Rei II was crying. She was hugging her legs to her body, and resting   
her forehead on her knees. Tears fell freely from her eyes, and she   
didn't even seem to notice.  
  
Rei III watched, interested. "Why do you cry?" she asked. She'd cried   
only once before, and she didn't know what it meant. Angels weren't   
supposed to cry.  
  
"I...I..." Rei II tried to get out.  
  
"What?" Rei III asked, unforgiving.  
  
"I..." her voice lowered to less than a whisper. "I just wanted...to   
tell him..."  
  
"Tell who? Tell what?"  
  
Rei II shook her head, still crying. "I can't. I won't see him again,   
because...now I'm the next Angel."  
  
"No."  
  
That one little word was all it took for Rei II's hopes to start rising   
again. She looked up, her face still moist. "What?"  
  
"You are not the Seventeenth Angel."  
  
"But you said I had the core."  
  
"Yes. You have the core, but you are not the Seventeenth."  
  
"But..." Rei II wiped her face dry with her gloved fingers. "I don't   
understand."  
  
"I'm here to reclaim the core."  
  
"But how? I - " she cut off as she felt the air harden around her,   
freezing her in place. She tried to move, and couldn't. It was as   
though someone had sealed her into concrete.  
  
^An AT field...^ she thought. ^But not mine. Then...^ she looked into   
the other Rei's eye. Rei III had the same calm expression, and was   
slowly walking towards her.  
  
^Then they succeeded with the Third,^ she thought. ^They made an   
Angel. But then what happens to me...^  
  
Rei III was upon her. She knelt down next to Rei II. Her good arm -   
the one not in a sling - moved towards Rei II. Towards the   
core underneath.  
  
^No...^ Rei II thought. ^She's going to...she can't...I don't want to   
die, not like this...^ She tried to struggle, but it was just an   
exercise in futility.  
  
The AT field changed slightly, cutting her plugsuit open at the   
stomach. Rei III's hand moved through the opening...and sank into Rei   
II.  
  
Rei II was unable to scream, due to the field restricting her.   
Unimaginable pain flooded her mind as her body somehow flowed out of   
the way, allowing Rei III access to what she'd come for. Rei III   
grabbed a hold of something, and pulled. As the hand came out, Rei   
II's body healed just as quickly as it had been damaged. She felt a   
thick lump leave her body, and then her flesh knit back together,   
before consciousness left.  
  
Rei III's hand emerged, bloodless and holding a small red orb about the   
size of a baseball. She stood and dropped her AT field, letting the   
still form of Rei II slump to the ground. She then studied the orb   
carefully. The extraction process had gone exactly as she'd planned it   
to. The S2 engine was undamaged and still functional. It was exactly   
what the Commander wanted. And what the Commander wanted, Rei did.   
There was no alternative, in Rei III's mind.  
  
Her gaze flickered downwards as she heard the faint sound of breathing.   
Interesting. So the Second had not expired with the removal of the   
core. Rei III stared at her double, feeling the life underneath that   
was somehow still in existence.   
  
It was impossible for the Second to still be alive. If she had been   
completed, then the removal of her core would have killed her outright.   
  
Then she remembered the tears the Second had shed. Perhaps the   
Second's extra human portions had proven to be a benefit, instead of   
just a second-rate substitute for Angel genes. It seemed her clone's   
human half had taken over, now that the Angel half was gone. Rei III   
thought it over, feeling that she should check with Dr. Akagi.  
  
In any case, her mission was a success. She had not heard the   
Commander say that the Second was to be terminated, simply that he   
wanted the core. And now, the core was in her possession. All that   
remained was to give it to him.  
  
She walked a short distance into the forest, still studying her   
acquisition. She walked behind a tree...and didn't come out from   
behind it. It was as though she'd simply disappeared.  
  
***  
  
Gendo Ikari read the latest communication from his contact in SEELE.   
As usual, it was a short letter, sent through so many relay stations   
that it would be impossible to trace. After several seconds, he   
crumpled it up and threw it away. He then punched his desk with one   
hand; anger was something he permitted himself, but only when no one   
was watching.  
  
"Dammit," he said, quietly. "You should have forgotten you had a   
conscience, Akagi," he said to the air.  
  
He shouldn't have been in his office at the time; there was currently   
an alert going on. A blue pattern had been detected somewhere just   
outside of the NERV buildings. It had been a very strong AT field, but   
it had only been in existence for a few seconds. Gendo was not   
worried; the Seventeenth Angel could not be here yet, and the Dead Sea   
Scrolls predicted no more than seventeen Angels.  
  
However, appearances still needed to be kept up. The Third Child -   
Gendo rarely even _thought_ of Shinji as his son anymore - was on   
standby, ready to use Unit-02. Gendo had made it quite clear that   
Unit-01 was not to be used, even in emergencies.  
  
What was really on his mind was that SEELE was still trying to develop   
their own artificial Angel. Gendo was not supposed to know about this,   
but he had his ways of finding out. He had done nothing to stop the   
project; in fact, he was prepared to help, indirectly of course. All   
he needed to do was send the essential S2 engine to a certain SEELE   
scientist, who would then 'discover' it and use it in the project. And   
so the Seventeenth Angel would come, much sooner than it would have if   
SEELE had taken the years required to make their own Angel core.  
  
"Sir."  
  
Gendo didn't bother to turn around. Akagi had warned him that the new   
Rei was different. He had _known_ he was alone just a moment ago, but   
it didn't matter. Rei was with him, now.  
  
"You'd better not do that too often, Rei," he said.  
  
"Acknowledged. Sir, is this what you wanted?"  
  
Gendo turned, now. He looked at the blue-haired girl, and then at what   
she was holding. There, in her hand, was the oh-so-necessary human-  
sized S2 engine.  
  
Gendo was instantly suspicious. "You removed your own?" he asked.  
  
Rei shook her head slightly. "I found the Second, sir, and obtained   
what you were trying to find."  
  
Gendo took a step towards her. "This..." he paused to collect himself.   
"This is the core of your previous self, then."  
  
Rei nodded.  
  
_Now_ Gendo smiled. Rei did not mirror the gesture, though. Gendo was   
slightly disappointed; the second Rei would have smiled back. No   
matter. Now, everything was going according to plan, again.  
  
He took the offered sphere, surprised at its weight. "Good work," he   
said, unable to hold back a _few_ words of praise. "Now get back to   
your quarters. You know you're not supposed to be here, Rei."  
  
Rei nodded, and left, this time using the door.  
  
Gendo rolled the ball around in his fingers as he grabbed his phone and   
started calling the people he'd need to contact.  
  
***  
  
Back out in the woods, Rei was still breathing. Her hands clenched   
into a pair of loose fists. She opened her eyes, and was greeted by   
the sight of the stars. She looked at them for several minutes,   
letting consciousness return. Then, she concentrated, using raw   
willpower force her body to sit up.  
  
She felt sick. This was another new feeling; she'd never been sick,   
before. Her entire body just wanted to lie down and go back to sleep,   
but at the same time it wanted to vomit. There was also a burning   
pain in her stomach, but a quick check showed no visible harm.  
  
It felt like an eternity passed as she tried to get to her feet. Her   
legs could barely support her, and her breathing was ragged. How had   
her strength left her so completely?  
  
She felt her heart thudding in her chest with the exertion. She lay   
her hand over it. She still that, at least. An ordinary heart, and  
not some Angel core. It comforted her; it reminded her that something   
in her was still human.  
  
She was dizzy from weakness, but knew that she couldn't stay out here.   
It was quickly getting colder, and she could be hurt if she remained   
outside all night. She needed to seek shelter.  
  
Her logical side quickly gave a few suggestions. The obvious place to   
go would be NERV. It was close by, and she was somewhat familiar with   
the the layout of its maze-like corridors. She could hide indefinitely   
there. If not there, then her apartment...no, that last one wouldn't   
work. This...third Rei would be living there, now. Because now, _she_   
was the Rei everyone assumed was the real Rei.  
  
But at the same time, her emotions - which had somehow _gained_ in   
strength, as opposed to the rest of her - were pushing her in another   
direction. Even though NERV was the logical choice, she wanted to go   
to Ikari-kun's...no, Major Katsuragi's apartment. It made some logical   
sense; it was far enough from the blast radius that it had most likely   
survived Unit 00's destruction, supposing it had been underground when   
that had happened. But why go there?  
  
She was aware of a feeling of loneliness, an empty feeling she couldn't   
really place. She already didn't like the sensation. But it was also   
the explanation for why she wanted to go to the Katsuragi apartment.   
Now that she knew the man who'd been her surrogate father for years had   
been a liar from the beginning, she wanted...no, _needed_ to go to   
someone she knew cared about her. And she only knew of one person like   
that.  
  
She quickly made her decision about where to go. She started walking,   
stumbling quite a bit, heading for a place she'd only been to once   
before. Every once in a while, she'd put a hand on her chest, if   
anything to assure herself that she was still alive.  
  
***  
  
Asuka Sohryuu Langley did not appear to notice when she heard the faint   
knocking on the door to the apartment. She heard it all right, but she   
didn't want to move. Anyone who should be here would have a key to the   
door. And in any case, she wanted to be alone.  
  
Even though it was the dead of night, she couldn't sleep. Over the   
past few days, she had barely come out of her room. Most people   
assumed it was because she'd been mind-raped by the Fifteenth Angel.   
For the first few days, that had been true. But she'd put those old   
memories away, the same as she had every other time they'd tried to   
come back. The real reason she was here was because she'd failed.   
Again.  
  
She rolled over, her eyes still wide open. She'd failed. That was all   
she could think about. On this last Angel, she hadn't even been able   
to start her Eva. She'd failed so _horrendously_ that there was no   
longer any question of who was the best. The invincible Shinji. God,   
how she hated that name. She wished she'd never come here. Back in   
Germany, she'd been the top of the heap, the one who'd been piloting   
Eva since grade school. And all that training had been worth precisely   
jack shit.  
  
She'd always been in competition with those other two for who was   
better. Well, maybe they hadn't known it was a competition, but it had   
been that way for her. There had always been some question of who was   
the best. Until lately, Shinji had been too wimpy to fight really   
well, and Wondergirl...well, she knew what she was about, but she was   
always all _business_. No intensity in her fighting. Asuka, now   
_she'd_ had the intensity. She always fought for all she was worth, to   
prove to herself and everyone else that she was worth all that   
training. And she'd failed to do that.p  
  
And so, for the past few days, she'd been in a deep funk, playing video   
games at Hikari's. At least she could win at _those_. But now, Hikari   
was gone, and she'd had to stay here.  
  
The knocking had continued while she'd been busy pitying herself. And   
it showed no signs of stopping, either. Asuka eventually gave up and   
got off the bed, for the first time all day. She dragged herself   
towards the door. She wished she could get angry at being interrupted,   
but everything seemed so _pointless_ now that she couldn't even do   
that, anymore. It was yet another failure on her part, at least the   
way she saw it.  
  
She finally got to the door and laboriously pushed it open. She didn't   
bother to check who it was; she almost hoped it would be someone   
dangerous, so they'd kill her and put her out of her misery.  
  
On the other side stood Rei Ayanami, who for some reason was wearing a   
tattered plugsuit and had both arms wrapped around her stomach.  
  
"Help...me..." Rei mumbled.  
  
Asuka didn't respond for a moment. Sitting in front of her was the   
girl who had been her enemy since day one. She hadn't even wanted to   
be _friends_. What kind of sorry bitch didn't want to to get to know   
Asuka Sohryuu Langley? And Rei had always been dissing her since then,   
anyhow. The girl never wanted to do _anything_. Asuka knew it was   
wrong, but she'd been secretly happy to hear Rei's Eva had self-  
destructed while she was in it. It had meant there was one less   
problem to worry about.  
  
But _then_ Misato had said Rei was still alive. Wondergirl didn't even   
have the common decency to _die_ when her Eva blew up! She had always   
been one-upping Asuka. And now...here she was, standing in her   
doorway, and begging for help.  
  
Asuka would have _killed_ to get a moment like this. But it was just a   
little too perfect...  
  
"All right," Asuka said, leaning against the door. "Who ordered you to   
come here? They trying to say 'cheer up'?"  
  
Rei stared at her incredulously.  
  
"I gotta say, works better than Katsuragi tryin' to help. But it still   
won't work, Wondergirl. Just go on back to your master."  
  
"Wh...what?"  
  
"Go on, go back to him like a good little doll."  
  
"...I...I am not a - "  
  
Asuka cut her off with a slap to the cheek, just like the one she'd   
given Rei before in the elevator. But it was different this time.   
Back then, Rei had barely even seemed to notice, or care. But this   
time, she looked like she'd been really hurt. Her head turned away   
sharply, and her hand went to her cheek as her jaw clenched in pain.   
Asuka couldn't help smiling a little. She'd made the resident Ice   
Queen show emotion. Finally, a victory.  
  
"Yes. You. Are." Asuka said, knowing Rei had been about to say she   
wasn't a doll. ^That's all she is. A doll. A _thing_ that does   
whatever it's told to. She's so useless.^ Asuka was so concerned   
with mentally putting down Rei that she didn't notice the tears going   
down the albino girl's cheeks.  
  
"Now get out of my sight. You hear that, Wondergirl? I _order_ you to   
get out of my sight. And don't fucking come back, either!" With that,   
she slammed the door in Rei's face and whirled around, stomping off   
back to her room.  
  
She didn't show it, but she was happier than she'd been beforehand.   
The anger had come. And seeing Wondergirl like that, even if it was   
just an act they'd made her put on, was an image she wanted to keep   
with her for as long as possible. A slight smile creased her lips as   
she went back to her room, closing the door behind her.  
  
***  
  
Rei didn't know what to think anymore. She'd come here to try and find   
someone who cared, and instead had just found another enemy. Had   
Ikari-kun known she was out here? If he had...and he hadn't done   
anything...  
  
She blocked out those thoughts; they were too disturbing. She turned   
her head and coughed violently, her whole body shaking. Her legs   
wobbled, and she staggered, using the wall for support. She couldn't   
fall, yet. If she did, she probably wouldn't get back up.  
  
She couldn't give up, just yet. Yes, Sohryuu had just ordered her to   
do something, but the Second Child had never been her commander,   
anyway. Rei waited in the doorway, waiting until she was sure Sohryuu   
was gone. She also took the chance to catch her breath. The walk here   
had taken more out of her than she'd have guessed, and the burning in   
her stomach had gotten progressively worse. It was almost too much to   
bear, now.  
  
After she'd rested for a moment, she tried the door handle. It moved   
with her hand, and the door slid aside. Still holding her chest, which   
began to hurt again as she started moving, she stumbled inside, closing   
the door behind her. At least the Second had forgotten to re-lock the   
door.  
  
She looked around. The basic layout of the apartment looked no   
different from what it had been back at the Seventh Angel, when she'd   
come here for the first time. She moved across the living room and   
down a hallway, finding that the doorways had been very conveniently   
marked. Although she didn't understand what the little hearts were   
for, it was useful to know whose room was whose. She stopped in front   
of the door marked, "Shinji's lovely room". Without any hesitation,   
she slid the door aside and walked in.  
  
It was dark inside. Rei shut the door behind her, hoping Sohryuu   
hadn't heard her come in. She let her eyes adjust to the darkness as   
she stepped in.  
  
She quickly found that there was no one in the room. Too tired to try   
and search the rest of the apartment, Rei sat down on the floor, they   
lay down flat on her back, both hands resting on her chest. Where   
would he be? Rei ran over several possibilities. He could be at NERV,   
though why he'd be there in the middle of the night was an enigma.   
Maybe...  
  
Rei felt panic rise in her as she thought that perhaps Ikari-kun was   
with Sohryuu at the moment. Would those two...no, she didn't want to   
think about that right now. It would be too much for one day, and Rei   
didn't like the way those thoughts made her emotions flare.  
  
She was too tired to get up. She'd been tired back in the woods, and   
walking here had been no help. Her feet hurt, every muscle in her body   
was sore, and currently it felt like her arms weighed a ton each. She   
closed her eyes. Ikari-kun would come here eventually. She would   
wait.  
  
***  
  
"So, good thing it wasn't really an Angel, huh?" Maya Ibuki said, as   
she drove down the street.  
  
"Unnnngghhh," replied the groggy mass that was Major Misato Katsuragi.  
  
"Poor Shinji'd have to go out for the second time in less than a   
week," Maya continued, glancing over her shoulder at the sleeping boy   
in the back seat. "Sempai thinks driving an Eva when he's tired could   
be dangerous."  
  
"Unnnngghhh."  
  
"But anyway, all we really had to do was keep an eye open. I mean,   
yeah, it was seven hours of waiting, but I think it's better than   
having to fight, right?"  
  
"Unnnngghhh."  
  
"We at least got to sit down. Poor Shinji had to wait in Eva-02."  
  
"Unnnngghhh."  
  
"And we had plenty of coffee for the bridge crew."  
  
"Unnnngghhh."  
  
"Too bad Hyuuga-kun drank it all before you could get any."  
  
Misato didn't respond this time; she'd finally fallen asleep. Maya   
sighed and shook her head, as she kept driving. Misato would have to   
bum a ride off someone the next time she went to NERV, since all she'd   
been capable of doing back before they'd left was dragging herself into   
Maya's car.  
  
Misato and Shinji hadn't been doing too well in the sleep department   
lately. Shinji couldn't sleep because of his nightmares, which had   
gotten significantly worse since the Sixteenth Angel. Seeing someone   
he knew willingly blow herself up...Maya didn't think she'd be able to   
take it, either. This of course was bad news for Misato, who made a   
point of staying up when either of her two wards was having trouble   
sleeping. Since Asuka hadn't been sleeping well since the Fifteenth,   
Misato hadn't gotten a good night's rest for weeks, now.  
  
They finally made it to the apartment. Maya managed to shake Misato   
awake, and then she threw Shinji over her shoulder and led the near-  
comatose Major up to her apartment. By the time Misato had finished   
finding which key would open the door, Shinji had woken up, and Maya   
put him down.  
  
Both of them thanked the technician before stumbling into the   
apartment. Maya considered following them in, but figured that   
wouldn't really be necessary. Shrugging, she turned and headed back to   
her car.  
  
***  
  
Shinji Ikari was still groggy, but he was better off than Misato, who   
looked about ready to pass out on the spot. He stumbled over to the   
purple-haired woman.  
  
"I'm going to sleep, Misato-san," he said.  
  
"Huh? Thaza good idea, uh...uh..." Misato started snapping her   
fingers, trying to remember something.  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
"Oh yeaaaahh. Thaza good idea, _Shinji_. You go sleep. Bye bye."   
With that, she collapsed, conveniently falling on top of Shinji, who   
only barely kept his balance. Shinji grunted, the exertion waking him   
up a bit more. After some indecision, he decided he could at least   
take Misato to her room.  
  
So, he draped Misato's arms around his neck, and started off down the   
hallway, trying not to notice the trail of drool Misato was leaving   
behind. He grunted with each step. How had Misato gotten so _heavy_?  
  
"You need to lose some weight, Misato-san."  
  
There was no response. Maybe it was the fatigue, or maybe it was just   
that once you sit through enough explosions, nothing really scares you   
anymore. For whatever reason, Shinji decided to press his luck.  
  
"And you could cut back on the drinking, too. I mean, you've managed   
to come home and throw up every weekend, now. That _is_ kind of   
silly."  
  
"Unnngghh," Misato moaned out, again. "Kaji izat you?"  
  
Now _why_ would she mention Kaji, of all people? Maybe it was the   
situation. Although Shinji couldn't understand why Kaji would have   
carried Misato anywhere. Of course, there was no one he could ask   
about that, since the only one who would know was Misato, and she   
hadn't talked about Kaji since...well, since that night. Maybe sleep   
just made people hallucinate. Yeah, that had to be it.  
  
With no small effort, Shinji managed to push aside the door to Misato's   
room. He was instantly confronted with what had to be the sloppiest   
room on the face of the Earth. Beer cans littered the floor, and   
clothes were scattered everywhere. Shinji tried to to notice the lacy   
underwear thrown over the closet door, but his hormones reacted faster   
than the rest of him. ^She's my _guardian_,^ he thought. ^I can't   
think like that.^  
  
At least Misato slept on a futon. He didn't think he'd be strong   
enough to lever the woman onto a bed. After unceremoniously dumping   
the woman onto said futon, he managed to get out without tripping on   
the beer cans, which was an achievement in itself. He was suddenly   
very glad Misato didn't make him clean out her and Asuka's room.  
  
He got out and closed the door behind him. He then managed to get to   
his room and threw himself onto his bed without bothering to close the   
door behind him.  
  
He was starting to go to sleep when he started thinking he could smell   
something dirty. Kind of a mix of blood and dirt. He rolled over and   
sniffed at his hands. Funny, they still smelled clean. Maybe it had   
just been from Misato hanging on him.  
  
"Ikari-kun..." he heard a familiar voice mumble. He didn't bother   
turning over; the sound had been so faint he decided he could just pass   
it off as his imagination. Anyway, if Misato could mistake him for   
Kaji, he could mistake a gust of wind for Ayanami's voice.  
  
Right?  
  
***  
  
Rei woke up the next morning as the sunlight fell on her face. Her   
eyes snapped open immediately, but she didn't move for several seconds.  
  
^Did all that happen last night?^ she wondered. ^Or was it just a   
dream?^  
  
She looked back and forth, without moving her head. She was on the   
floor, in an unfamiliar room. Why was she here? She looked at   
herself. She was wearing a plugsuit, sort of. This one was covered in   
dirt and dried LCL. It also had a few rips in it, the biggest being a   
vertical across her abdomen.  
  
She sat up and fingered the cut. Underneath, she felt unharmed; the   
burning sensation had finally left her. But the feeling of loneliness   
remained. Rei sighed to herself, realizing this. She'd never really   
known what it was like to feel lonely before. But she was still quite   
sure that she didn't like it.  
  
She looked over to her left at the sound of movement. There, in the   
bed, was Ikari-kun. He'd turned over in his sleep, and his face was   
now clearly visible. Rei froze, watching him. Then, something   
unexpected happened.  
  
She felt the corners of her mouth lift up, almost as though they'd   
taken on a life of their own. Rei was surprised, but understood at the   
same time. In many ways, it was like after the Fifth Angel : she was   
happy. Though she hadn't understood then, she had a better grip now on   
why she would feel that way. It looked like her waiting had paid off;   
he was here.  
  
Her smile fell when she saw a single tear starting to go down his face.   
More out of worry than interest in this display of emotion, Rei crept   
closer.  
  
"She's gone..." he said, suddenly, causing Rei to freeze up, eyes   
widening. "She's still dead..."  
  
^What is he talking about?^ Rei leaned in, listening.  
  
"That's not Ayanami..." he said, finally. Then he took a deep breath   
and pulled the blanket a little tighter around himself.  
  
^Ah. He's met my replacement,^ Rei thought. It made logical sense.   
Ikari-kun had gotten to know her much better than most of the other   
NERV personnel, so he would notice whatever differences might be there.  
  
Rei found herself leaning in closer. _This_ did not make logical   
sense. What was she doing? Why? She didn't understand. And yet, she   
didn't stop, either. She positioned her face to be just above Ikari-  
kun's, her short hair falling down around her face.  
  
"I'm still here," she whispered. He groaned a little, causing Rei to   
frown. She didn't want to hurt him.  
  
"I'm still alive, Ikari-kun. Don't cry." She reached down and   
carefully brushed the tear away. "Please don't cry over me."  
  
He groaned again, this time smiling, just a little. Rei smiled too.   
Maybe she'd helped. She found that she liked seeing him happy.  
  
She also found herself considering the position she was in. Just a   
little closer, and their lips...  
  
She blinked rapidly. When had she started thinking like this? It was   
too strange. Maybe more had changed last night than just the removal   
of a core.  
  
"Smells like blood," Shinji said, his smile falling.  
  
Rei blinked some more. Then, she slowly brought her wrist up to her   
nose. Sure enough, there was the scent of LCL, which did bear a   
remarkable resemblance to blood. ^I hate blood,^ she thought. ^It   
appears he does, as well.^  
  
Very well. If neither of them liked the smell of blood, then something   
would have to be done about it. Rei immediately took what seemed to be   
the best course of action.  
  
***  
  
Shinji woke up several minutes later, his sleep having been disturbed   
as usual by bad dreams. They'd gotten no better, although he was   
sleeping through the night now. Almost every night now, he'd had the   
same one: of seeing Ayanami injured and dying, and him unable to help.   
And then she'd exploded...  
  
It might have been bearable, had she just been gone. But no, it wasn't   
that simple. Ayanami was dead, but they'd brought in someone else.   
Someone who looked so much like her there was no way to tell them   
apart, at least physically. Too bad only he knew truth. That girl   
he'd met in the hall was not her. She had barely even recognized him.   
And what was this about being the third? It didn't make any sense.  
  
But right at the end of the dream...it had gotten nicer. The images of   
Ayanami dying were replaced by earlier pictures, of her when she was   
still alive. He still remembered that one time he'd seen her smile.   
And later, when he'd seen her cheeks turn a definite red after he'd   
cleaned up her apartment. They weren't much, but those were the few   
moments when Ayanami had looked like a normal girl, and not some Eva   
pilot who appeared to have no emotions.  
  
He considered going back to sleep, but he didn't want to risk having   
those nightmares again. In addition, he heard Misato dragging herself   
past his still-open door. She glanced in on him as she went by.  
  
"Goodmornin', Shinjikun," she slurred out, still groggy. It looked   
like her alarm clock had gone off a little too early for her taste.  
  
Shinji said good morning back, but he was pretty sure she didn't hear   
him. Misato kept going, heading to the kitchen to get her morning beer   
buzz.  
  
After some debating, he eventually crawled out of the bed himself. It   
was then that he noticed the sound of the shower running. ^So Asuka   
finally got out of her room,^ he thought. ^Good.^ Although he didn't   
admire the way Asuka was handling things, it was good to know the girl   
was starting to pick up the pieces.  
  
He set about getting dressed for the day. He briefly considered   
wearing something other than the school uniform, but decided against   
it; he had to go to NERV today for another test with Unit-01, and he   
always went there in his school clothes.  
  
He was pulling on his shirt when he happened to look in the corner of   
his room, at his cello. Maybe he'd play some today; it wasn't like   
there was much else to do, not with everyone and everything gone.   
  
He also saw a familiar mass of white material, thrown over the back of   
the chair he usually sat in while practicing the cello. He didn't   
believe his eyes at first. But, he still wanted to check.  
  
He didn't really notice that he'd closed the distance to the chair so   
quickly; it was just one moment he was looking at it, and the next he   
was there. He carefully picked up the white plugsuit and let it hang   
in front of him. He looked it over, incredulous. Why was _this_ here?   
Ayanami was dead...  
  
So that was it. Someone must have sent it here, once they were through   
with it. With Unit-00 gone, it wasn't like Ayanami - or whoever that   
girl was - was going to be using an Eva anytime soon. So, they'd sent   
what was left of her to him. But why? Maybe...well, he hadn't ever   
seen Ayanami talking with anyone else, really. Maybe they'd just   
wanted her friend to have it.  
  
It was a crazy, pointless gesture for someone to give him this. That   
meant it must have been Misato's idea. He'd have to thank her later.  
  
He wrapped his arms around the tattered suit, hugging it close to his   
body. This was all that was left of Rei...the old Rei, anyway. Why   
were his eyes going moist? Well, Rei had been an...aquaintance, at   
least. Maybe a friend. Maybe...well, he wasn't sure of his feelings   
for her, even now. She'd never really been an easy person to talk to.   
But he'd felt close to her, anyway. Closer than to pretty much anyone   
else, really.  
  
He smelled something familiar. He looked down at the suit, noticing   
the condition it was in. Dirt and LCL were smeared all over it. So   
_that_ was what he'd been smelling last night. But he could   
almost smell sweat. As though someone had just been wearing it...  
  
It was then that the shower stopped running. Shinji sighed quite   
audibly and walked over to his closet, opening the door and looking for   
a place to put the plugsuit. Asuka and Rei had very nearly been   
enemies; or so he'd guessed, anyhow. If the German girl saw him with   
this, there was no telling what she'd do.  
  
After squeezing the suit against himself one last time, he folded it up   
in his arms and started pushing things aside in an effort to make room.   
In the background, he heard someone walk into his room. ^Oh, shoot, I   
gotta hurry. I should've thought Asuka would want to say her 'Guten   
Morgen', like everything's normal.^  
  
"Just a second," he said loudly, finally managing to chuck the plugsuit   
up onto the top shelf of his closet. Hopefully Asuka wouldn't look   
there. He didn't hear anyone leaving the room, which meant Asuka was   
still here. ^Great, now I need to explain what I'm doing, and make it   
believeable.^ His day was not starting out very well.  
  
He stepped back, closed the door, and turned to face his visitor,   
already taking a breath to try and think up something that would   
satisfy Asuka's inevitable question.  
  
The breath left him immediately when he saw that he was now face-to-  
face with Rei Ayanami, instead.  
  
The girl looked at him curiously. Shinji took one look at her and   
quickly averted his gaze. This was too surreal. She was currently   
dressed in a towel around her shoulders, and nothing else. It was not   
unlike that rather awkward situation from about a year back.  
  
He felt panic rising in him when he saw Rei walking towards him, again   
exactly like before. ^Quick!^ he thought. ^Quick, find what you're   
carrying that she wants! Is it...uh, no glasses here. Maybe its - ^  
  
His thoughts stopped abruptly as Rei threw her arms around him and   
pulled him into a tight embrace, burying her face into his shoulder.  
  
Shinji's mind locked, along with his body. A hundred thousand thoughts   
went through his head all at once, as he tried to figure this out.  
  
Rei did not let go, but she did eventually look into his face. "Good   
morning, Ikari-kun," she said, as though nothing out of the ordinary   
was going on. Shinji's gaze was quickly held by those blood-red eyes.   
In an odd way, they were pretty eyes. And Shinji noticed that this   
time, it wasn't a cold stare. In fact, it was almost...warm.  
  
"Uh..." Shinji said, slowly regaining control over his tongue.   
"Uh...Ayanami..."  
  
"I didn't die," she said, still looking at him. "I heard you talking   
in your sleep. I didn't die."  
  
Shinji finally came to the conclusion that made the most sense : he was   
still asleep, and this was a dream. That's what it had to be. This   
was _sort_ of like when he'd visited Ayanami's apartment for the first   
time. So he was still just having a memory dream.  
  
Well, if it wasn't real, then he could play it out to its end. "I know   
that, Ayanami," he said. "But you're _so_ different now. You can   
barely even remember my name. It's like you died, and they just gave   
me back someone who looks a lot like you. But it isn't you." He   
wished he could return the embrace she was giving him; even if it was a   
dream, he wanted to be able to hold her, just for once, to know she was   
there. But currently his arms were pinned to his sides by the   
surprisingly strong girl in front of him.  
  
Rei shook her head, looking a little surprised. "No, I told you. I   
lived through the explosion. And...then..." her breath caught as she   
tried to continue. She eventually cleared her throat and tried again,   
this time looking away and resting her head on his chest.  
  
"I've never known what it's like to be lonely, Ikari-ku...Shinji-kun.   
But I know that's what I'm feeling now. Please just let it be like   
this for another minute."  
  
Shinji nodded, his tongue having failed him again. He bent his arms at   
the elbows, working around Rei's grasp and managing a weak hug of his   
own around her waist. ^Man, do I have weird dreams. I wonder if Touji   
thinks like this.^  
  
"Shinji-kun!" came Misato's voice from down the hall. She was much   
more cheerful, now that she'd had her morning beer. "Shinji-kun, I   
have to leave early for work and I..." she trailed off as she came into   
the doorway. She looked at a naked Rei holding a Shinji whose shirt   
was still unbuttoned. She stared for a good twenty seconds, mouth   
hanging open. Shinji met her gaze, but didn't let go of Rei.  
  
Misato eventually looked at the beer can she'd been holding, then back   
at the pair. "I think I'll just forget I saw this," she said, before   
going back to the kitchen, intending to get hammered a little earlier   
than she usually did.  
  
"Man, my dreams just keep getting weirder," Shinji said, voicing his   
most recent thought.  
  
Rei turned to look at him again. "Did you mean this is a dream?" she   
asked, questioningly.  
  
Shinji looked back and forth nervously, as he began to doubt his   
earlier conclusion. "Uh...yeah, I guessed so."  
  
"Interesting," Rei said, cocking her head. "I don't believe it is."  
  
It crashed down on Shinji with the force of a tidal wave. He wasn't   
dreaming this. An unclothed Rei was pressing him up against her, and   
he was...  
  
For the second time in the morning, Shinji seemed to defy the laws of   
physics, instantaneously breaking out of Rei's grasp and putting a good   
meter and a half between him and her. He looked away quickly, turning   
an impressive beet red.  
  
"I didn't see anything!" he began, trying to cover as best he could.   
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I thought I was still asleep and I didn't   
mean to do that! I'm sorry!"  
  
"Are you embarassed, seeing me like this?" Rei asked, walking up to him   
again. Shinji turned his back to her; his eyes kept wandering to   
places they shouldn't. And he didn't want Rei to see the _other_ way   
he was reacting to her lack of clothing.  
  
"Well I, uh, that is, uh...yeah."  
  
"Very well."  
  
Shinji remained frozen as he heard rustlings behind him. He didn't   
turn around when Rei said she was clothed, either. He was still too   
embarassed to move. Rei had to turn him around herself, letting him   
see that she was now dressed in one of his spare school uniforms.  
  
"How is this?" she asked.  
  
"I...uh...it's better," he managed to stammer out.  
  
"Good," she said. Another second later, she'd grabbed onto him again.   
Shinji briefly considered running away, getting out of here and getting   
out of this extremely odd situation. But he shook it off. He couldn't   
run away anymore; people were depending on him. Instead, he just   
decided to enjoy the moment, again holding Rei against him.  
  
"So..." he said, not really knowing what to say in this situation.   
"How are you here?"  
  
Rei released him, something that left Shinji feeling disappointed,   
though he didn't quite understand why. She sat down on his bed,   
looking at the floor as she started talking. "When the   
Angel...attacked me, I wanted to live, so badly, but I also wanted to   
protect you. So," she continued, cutting off Shinji, who looked like   
he'd been about to say something, "I...survived, due to the Angel's   
intervention. And then I ran away. The Angel had hurt my mind, and   
I...needed to be alone."  
  
Shinji nodded. If the Fifteenth Angel could invade people's minds,   
then the Sixteenth probably could, too. And Asuka had wanted to be   
alone for a while. Why not Rei?  
  
Rei continued, feeling no small measure of guilt that she was cutting   
out a few essential parts of the story. "I eventually returned to the   
city and...came here. I needed to see you, Shinji-kun. Because..."   
she took a breath to collect herself. "Because I was tired of being   
alone, and I needed to go somewhere where I knew someone would care   
about me." At least that much was true.  
  
Shinji wanted to ask quite a few questions, like how Rei could   
apparently be in two places at once. If she'd run away, and was only   
just now coming back, then how could she have been at NERV just   
yesterday? But...he found he couldn't ask, looking at the girl in   
front of him. Rei looked tired. And alone, like she'd said. When had   
she gotten in touch with her feelings, like that?  
  
Shinji sat down next to her, this time taking the intiative and putting   
his arms around her. It actually felt kind of nice.  
  
"Th...thank you..." Rei said, sounding very unfamiliar with the words.  
  
"Well, you got here, Ayanami," he said, finally. "So now what?" He   
immediately regretted asking that question. How was Ayanami supposed   
to know? But he didn't know, either...  
  
"Rei..." she said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Sh...Shinji-kun, why didn't you ever call me by my first name?"  
  
Shinji shrugged as best he could. "You didn't ask me to," he said,   
truthfully.  
  
"Then I'm asking you now. Call me Rei. Please," she said, looking at   
him.  
  
Shinji looked at her. She looked like she was on the verge of crying.   
One small part of him was amazed that _Rei_ of all people could react   
that way. The rest of him couldn't stand to see another tearful face,   
and wanted to help.  
  
"Uh..." he stuttered. "Aya...uh, Rei, I'm honored, I guess. You..."   
he took a second to choose his words. "You know you can come here   
whenever you need help."  
  
"There...there is something else I think I would like, right now."  
  
"What?"  
  
Rei showed him. She moved her head upwards, tilting her head and   
pressing her lips against his. Shinji stiffened again, his eyes   
widening for a moment. But then, he loosened up and began to kiss   
back. This was nice, too...  
  
Rei pulled away a little too soon for Shinji's liking. "Thank you,   
again, Shinji-kun," she said, leaning against him. Shinji didn't   
respond, but he did hold Rei a little tighter. He never would have   
guessed she felt this way. Or that he would enjoy it so much.  
  
"That other Ayanami," she began, after some time, "She's not me."  
  
Shinji blinked. "What?"  
  
"There are two Rei Ayanamis, Shinji-kun. I don't know how. The one   
you were talking about earlier was not me."  
  
Well, that explained how Rei had remembered so much, so quickly. It   
also raised a hell of a lot more questions, but again, Shinji didn't   
ask any, just yet.  
  
"I should warn you..." Rei said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The...the Seventeenth Angel is going to be coming. I know.   
It's...going to be different from the other ones."  
  
"How?" Shinji asked, not wanting to talk business, but not wanting to   
look like he was shunning Rei, either.  
  
Rei shook her head. "I don't know. But its core will be different.   
It..." she paused. "Its core came from me," she finished, in such a   
quiet tone Shinji only just barely heard her.  
  
Shinji paused before answering. "What? What do you mean - "  
  
"Can I answer later...Shinji-kun?" It sounded like she was getting   
used to saying his name. Shinji found he liked that, too. "I don't   
think I'm ready to tell that, just yet."  
  
Shinji leaned his head down on top of hers. "Whatever it is, I'll   
listen," he said, in his best soothing tone. "And I'll wait until   
you're ready."  
  
Rei didn't move. She just continued to lean against him. After a   
while she touched her face. "I'm...crying, again," she said. "But I'm   
not hurt...it's like what you did. I'm crying...because I'm happy."  
  
"That's okay, R...Rei."  
  
Rei nodded, and then grabbed onto him and pulled him a little closer.  
  
"Wait a second," Shinji said, holding up a finger as he got an insight.   
"Would Misato-san want to know about all this?"  
  
Rei sighed, her eyes going distant as she thought it over. "I suppose   
so," she said, finally.  
  
"Should we tell her?" he asked, gesturing for the door. "She's not   
far."  
  
"It does concern her." Rei got up, her face going back to emotionless   
mode in the space of a second. Shinji stood, as well. He surprised   
himself as much as anyone else by taking Rei's hand and leading her   
out. Rei didn't seem to mind. Although Shinji wasn't looking, her   
calm demeanor was soon cracked by another small smile.  
  
They found Misato, who thankfully had not gotten (very) drunk just yet.   
A little convincing got her to sit down at the table. Rei started   
talking, relating her entire story. Misato actually seemed to believe   
it, either because she'd be willing to believe anything after what   
she'd seen already, or because the booze was starting to get to her.  
  
As Rei was relating how she'd gotten into the apartment, they heard a   
door open down the hallway to the bedrooms. Asuka made her appearance,   
blinking in the light. She looked wordlessly at the trio at the table.  
  
"What're _you_ doing here?" Asuka asked, her eyes narrowing as she   
glared at Rei. "Didn't I tell you to piss off?"  
  
Misato blinked and looked over at Asuka. "Rei was just telling us   
about that. Asuka, what were you thinking?"  
  
"Oh, come on!" Asuka shouted, going over to the table. "You believe   
this doll's act? Someone told her to come here and act all pitiful so   
I'd feel better."  
  
"The world does not revolve around you, Sohryuu," Rei said, in a quiet   
voice, as she looked at the table.  
  
Asuka grabbed Rei's arm and pulled her to her feet. "What did you just   
say?" she asked the blue-haired girl.  
  
"I was not sent here for your benefit," Rei replied, not bothering to   
make eye contact.  
  
"Well, I tell you one thing, Wonder-bitch, you're not staying _aaaaany_   
longer," Asuka said, dragging Rei off in the direction of the door.  
  
"Asuka! What do you think you're doing?" Shinji asked, jumping to his   
feet and following. Normally, he'd have just backed down, but this   
time, it was different. He'd just woken up from dreams of seeing Rei   
die, only to see that she was alive and in his _room_. And now Asuka   
was trying to take her away? He refused to just sit by idly, this   
time.  
  
Asuka tried to reply, but Rei twisted in her grasp, pulling free and   
backing away, towards the table. Asuka glared at her, then stepped   
forwards, hand raised for a slap.  
  
The blow never made it. She felt a hand grab her wrist. She looked   
up, just in time to see Shinji's angry face, before the boy's hand   
struck her cheek.  
  
Misato dropped her beer, left speechless.  
  
"Leave Ayanami alone!" Shinji shouted. "She's just been through hell,   
and you're trying to kick her out?!"  
  
Asuka quivered, as one hand went to her cheek. It stung, but it wasn't   
the physical pain that hurt. ^Sh..._she's_ been through hell?^ Asuka   
thought. ^What about _me_?^  
  
She tried to voice these thoughts, but she couldn't get any words to   
come. In a fury, she spat in Shinji's face. The boy flinched,   
blinking and wiping the spit out of his eye.  
  
"Fine!" Asuka shouted. "Fuck this place, fuck Wondergirl, and fuck   
_YOU_!" At this, she turned and ran out of the apartment.  
  
Shinji watched her go, breathing heavily. He thought about chasing   
after her, but figured that would not be in the interests of his   
personal health, right now. Asuka could wait.  
  
Misato seemed to regain control over herself. "Sh...Shinji-kun..." she   
mumbled. "What did you just do?"  
  
Shinji shook his head. "I don't know," he said, sitting back down at   
the table, as Rei took a seat on the opposite side. "But I couldn't   
just let her do what she wanted." He noticed his hands were shaking.   
^God, what _did_ I just do? Asuka, I'm sorry.^  
  
Rei had her hands folded in her lap, looking at the table again.   
Shinji looked over at her. "Are you all right, Rei?" he asked.  
  
"I am uninjured."  
  
"Good," Shinji said. He looked at Misato, who was eyeing him   
suspiciously. "Asuka will come back, right?," he asked, already   
beginning to doubt himself.  
  
Misato sighed. "It's too early in the morning for this," she said.   
"I'll see if I can get security to keep an eye on her," she continued,   
getting up and heading for the phone.  
  
Rei glanced up at Shinji, once Misato was gone. "Thank you," she said,   
quietly.  
  
Shinji glanced over at her. "What?"  
  
"Thank you, Shinji. For protecting me."  
  
Shinji nodded. "You're welcome, Rei. I...just wish I knew if I did   
the right thing."  
  
Rei reached across the table and lightly squeezed his hand. "It is   
done, regardless. We'll just wait and see."  
  
Shinji nodded, so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice   
Rei was holding his hand.  
  
***  
  
Days later, somewhere across the world, another tank of LCL lit up as a   
soul was transferred to a body. A pair of red eyes opened, looking   
through the glass at a group of scientists, who were observing the   
process.  
  
"Fifth Child is active," one of the scientists announced. "Prepare him   
for the trip to Tokyo-3."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Endnote : This fic was conceived based off of a mad rambling thought I   
got while I was half asleep. It went something like, ^Hey, Rei and   
Kaoru sure are similar. What if they're the same person?   
Whoaaaaaahhh...^ It ties in nicely with Kaoru saying to Rei III that   
they are the same, and Kaoru telling Shinji that he loves him. It was   
such an interesting idea that I thought I'd write a fic about it. And   
while I was trying to figure out a plot, I figured I could take care of   
that little thing about Rei II dying. Rei II was the coolest character   
in the whole series. And she was pretty damn cute when she blushed,   
too.  
  
Side note to Tekkaman Warhammer fans : you may have noticed a striking   
similarity between one scene in "Seraphim's Judgement" (an Eva/Teknoman   
crossover), and the scene in this fic where Rei sees Shinji sleeping.   
This similarity is unintentional. I just wanted to write the scene   
like that, and it turned out someone had beat me to it. By the way, if   
you haven't already, read "Seraphim's Judgement." It's a great fic.  
  
Write me at otakusadist@hotmail.com for questions, C+C, adoring praise,   
death threats, etc. Yes, I will write back. Also, visit my Eva   
website: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei/index.html  
  
-Finished on February 20, 2001 


	3. Battle of the Angels

DISCLAIMER : None of this belongs to me. The characters, story,   
universe, lines, etc. of Evangelion belongs to GAINAX and whoever they   
sold the rights to. The characters/story/etc. in "No Need for Tenchi"   
are not mine, either.  
  
Warning : Be on the lookout for spoilers, coarse language, violence,   
and flagrant rewriting of the Eva storyline.  
  
Foreword : Well, here you are. This part is significantly longer than   
the first one, but then again, I'm covering a lot of territory, too. I   
won't give away what happens; where's the fun in that? I'll just get   
down to business.  
  
  
  
" " denotes speech  
^ ^ denotes thought  
_ _ denotes emphasis (italics)  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
An Unwilling Angel  
Author : Ryan Xavier  
Part 2 : Battle of the Angels  
  
The sun had not risen yet, but activity had already started in Tokyo-3.   
This included a small beach not far from the city. A boy walked lazily   
across this dark beach, his hands in his pockets. He wore the standard   
school uniform - a little out of place now that there was no school   
anymore - and looked as though he didn't have a care in the world. The   
wind blew softly, rustling his gray hair.  
  
The plane that had brought him was already making preparations to   
leave. Fortunately, the Tokyo-3 airport had been out of range of the   
tremendous explosion that had ripped through the city just over a week   
earlier. But instead of going straight to NERV headquarters as he was   
supposed to, he'd come here.  
  
He had a lot on his mind. He'd come here to replace one of the   
Children, who apparently could no longer control her Eva. He had   
another order, too, directly from the heads of SEELE. But, that was   
not supposed to be public knowledge. In any case, he was not supposed   
to act on _that_ order until he was told to.  
  
But central to his thoughts was a boy, whose presence he could sense in   
the city. He could feel that the boy was incredibly lonely. The   
person on the beach was not very familiar with his emotions, but he   
understood that he wanted to see this boy. To comfort him and let him   
know that he wasn't alone. He also knew the boy's name.  
  
"Ikari-kun..." he whispered out. The wind abruptly died at these   
words.  
  
***  
  
Shinji Ikari's eyes opened. He blinked a little, staring at the once-  
unfamiliar-but-now-kind-of-nice ceiling of his room. He sat up and   
looked around.  
  
He could've sworn he'd just heard someone mumble his name. He reached   
over and switched on his desk lamp. The light from the dim bulb was   
enough to reveal most of the room, showing that he was alone. Unlike   
that incident a few days ago, no one had spent the night on his floor.  
  
He shook his head a little to clear it, and then threw his legs over   
the edge of his bed and stood up. Shivering a little as the cold night   
air hit his legs, he walked over to his closet. He started picking   
through the clothes there.   
  
He'd heard a voice, he was sure. It might have just been his   
imagination, but in any case, he was awake now. What was he supposed   
to do while waiting for the sun to come up? He could lie on his bed   
with his thoughts. But that was all he ever did.  
  
^Maybe a walk would help,^ he thought, as he took out a school uniform.   
He could clear his mind. He could go down to the beach, where the   
sound of the waves would calm him down. He could watch the sun come   
up, to help ease his nerves.  
  
As he stepped out of his room, fully dressed, he was suddenly   
confronted by a set of blood-red eyes. He drew back a little,   
surprised.  
  
"Good morning, Shinji-kun," whispered a calm female voice from the   
darkness.  
  
"Uh...hello, Rei," he whispered back. He tried to move past her. All   
Rei was wearing at the time was a big tee-shirt Misato had loaned her   
to sleep in. He didn't want to be caught doing something indecent.   
Again.  
  
"Where are you going?" she asked, stepping in front of him to block his   
progress.  
  
"Uh...I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd...you know, go for a walk."  
  
"Will that help you sleep?"  
  
It was a simple question, but it was enough to make Shinji start to   
doubt himself. "Uh...no, I just thought I'd start early."  
  
"But it's still dark out, Shinji-kun. Sleep is important. You should   
rest while you can."  
  
Shinji suddenly realized that it was kind of silly to leave the   
apartment in the dead of night. It would take him at least an hour to   
walk to the beach, and it was quite cold out.  
  
"I...just need some time to think," he said, backing off, heading back   
for his room.  
  
"Would you like to talk about it?" Rei asked, following him.  
  
"Uh...no, thanks. I think you've helped already, Aya...Rei. I'll try   
getting back to sleep."  
  
"Very well. Good night, Shinji-kun."  
  
"Good night," Shinji said, stepping back into his room.  
  
After the door to Shinji's room had closed, Rei closed her eyes and   
leaned against the wall. That had been close. She'd heard the voice,   
too. It had filled her with a sense of foreboding. She didn't know   
what it meant, but it had been enough to wake her up. Ironically,   
she'd been up trying to clear her mind, just like Shinji had.  
  
And when Shinji had said he was going out, Rei had felt the sense of   
dread grow. She hadn't wanted him to go. Otherwise, he might find who   
had spoken. And that might not...be desirable.  
  
On top of this was her confused state of emotion. Why was her heart   
beating so fast? They'd just exchanged a few words in the hallway,   
that was all. And why did she want to go into his room? Just to make   
sure he didn't leave?  
  
She stayed there for several minutes. After a while, she could hear   
Shinji's light snoring coming from his room. Breathing a sigh of   
relief, she padded back to her room, sliding the door shut behind her.  
  
***  
  
The sun rose slowly, golden light creeping forwards to cover the ocean   
and the beach of Tokyo-3. The waves fell came and receded slowly,   
whispering their unintelligible language.  
  
The boy was still there on the beach, alone. This disturbed him, a   
little. He'd been sure that the boy in the city would have come to   
greet the day with him. But he shrugged it off. As the sun crept over   
the beach, he started humming "Ode to Joy."  
  
As the sun came over his pale face, illuminating his red eyes, he kept   
thinking about the boy in the city: Shinji Ikari. Shinji, the pilot of   
Evangelion Unit-01. The Eva that had a better combat record than all   
the other Evas combined.  
  
"Ikari-kun..." the boy whispered again.  
  
The boy smiled a little as a picture of Shinji's meek face formed in   
his mind. He'd wanted to see this boy since before he could remember.   
And he felt they were going to meet soon. He felt some remorse,   
knowing that his orders from SEELE would prevent any kind of lasting   
relationship. However, the boy resolved to get to know this Shinji   
Ikari, for the short time he would be here.  
  
And after his work was done...all would be one.  
  
But there was much to do before then.  
  
***  
  
Shinji woke up as the sun hit his eyes. He rolled out of bed, groggy.   
His mind wasn't functioning correctly, just yet. He somehow made it   
over to the closet and started looking through clothes, before he   
realized that clothes were already laid out on his chair. They were   
the clothes he'd put on last night...  
  
He suddenly remembered the events from a few hours previous. The   
voice...and then Rei...and then he'd gone back to sleep. All in all,   
it had been a very odd couple of minutes. Well, he couldn't do   
anything about it, now. Maybe he'd talk with Rei about it later.  
  
He took the shirt and pants off of his chair, checking to make sure   
they were still presentable before pulling them on. As he was getting   
dressed, the door to his room slid open.  
  
"Good morning, Shinji-kun. How did you sleep?"  
  
Had Shinji been living in a manga, a really big 'ACK' would have   
appeared over his head. But as it was, he just turned his head to face   
the door, already the color of a ripe tomato.  
  
"Rei!" he said, backing off out of view.  
  
The blue-haired girl followed, wondering what was the matter. "What?"   
she asked.  
  
"C-could you just give me a minute to get dressed?"  
  
"Of course," Rei remained said, remaining where she was.  
  
Shinji turned an even deeper red. "Uh...out in the hallway, please?"   
he asked, trying as best he could to pull his pants on. "I like my   
privacy."  
  
Rei thought that one over. She looked as though she was going to say   
something, but then she nodded and left, without saying anything.  
  
Shinji managed to calm down as he pulled his clothes on. Having Rei as   
a houseguest had been interesting, these past few days. The albino   
girl was strange enough to work with, but when she could appear at any   
moment...it was unsettling. Shinji wasn't about to ask her to leave,   
though, given the circumstances.  
  
Right now, he could hear her talking with Misato. ^Good,^ he thought.   
^At least she's opening up a little.^ He finished getting dressed and   
then walked out of his room, heading for the kitchen/dining room of the   
Katsuragi apartment.  
  
"Good morning," he said, trying to make himself cheerful.  
  
"Good morning, Shin-chan!" Misato called out from her seat at the   
table. She had obviously had her morning beer, and she already had   
another one in her hand.  
  
Rei had just sat down at the table, a steaming cup of tea sitting in   
front of her. "Please continue, Katsuragi-san," she said, quietly.   
"I'm afraid I still don't quite understand."  
  
"Oh, yeah," Misato said. "Well, Rei...you just...aren't supposed to   
walk in on people early in the morning."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because usually they still need to get dressed. And it's not polite   
to look at people half-clothed."  
  
"Shinji-kun is doing so now. Does that mean he is being impolite?"  
  
Misato looked up at Shinji, who'd been listening. Then she looked down   
at herself. She was wearing her normal morning clothes, which were   
enough to give most teenage males significant nosebleeds. Shinji   
blushed again.  
  
"IthinkI'llmakebreakfast," he said, rushing off to the kitchen.  
  
Misato laughed a little. Rei cocked her head, trying to understand.   
"Well, I guess I'm the exception," Misato said. "I'm just used to it."  
  
"Oh," Rei replied. They sat in silence, listening to Shinji start   
making breakfast in the kitchen. Then Misato tried to talk again.  
  
"But anyway, Rei, it's not nice for ladies to walk in on men, unless   
they're sleeping together," she said, finishing by raising the beer can   
to her lips.  
  
"I have slept with Shinji-kun."  
  
The sound of a plate breaking could be heard from the kitchen. It   
synchronized nicely with Misato spitting out a mouthful of beer all   
over the table and the girl seated at it.  
  
Rei calmly picked up a napkin and began to wipe the beer and spittle   
off of her face. Misato sputtered and tried to find her breath, while   
Shinji didn't move; he just stared at the wall, eyes wide. In this   
brief time, Pen-Pen came out of his freezer, stared at Shinji for a   
moment, as though deciding whether or not to disturb the boy, then went   
out into the living room with Misato and Rei.  
  
It was several long moments before Shinji blinked and went back to   
making breakfast. He tried hard not to eavesdrop anymore.  
  
Meanwhile, Misato tried to clarify the issue. "Uh...(cough) Rei, did   
you (cough) mean sleep in the same _room_? Or have you (cough)   
really...er..."  
  
"I would have said if we were having sex," Rei said, her voice still   
calm. She quietly took a sip of her tea. "If you remember, I spent   
the night in his room several days ago, just after I arrived here."  
  
"O...okay," Misato said, nodding. She looked into her beer can, trying   
to ascertain how much was left, and if she should get another one. She   
noticed Pen-pen had come up next to Rei. The penguin looked at the two   
women, ascertaining if there was any food to be had here.  
  
Rei's eyes flickered down to the bird, then back up to Misato. "Of   
course, with the Second gone, I no longer have to stay in Shinji-kun's   
room," she said. "Although I would not be opposed to doing so."  
  
Another plate broke in the kitchen.  
  
"You better clean those up, Shinji!" Misato called out over her   
shoulder.  
  
"Y-yes ma'am!"  
  
Rei took another leisurely sip from her cup. "Has there been any   
progress in finding the Second?" she asked.  
  
Misato looked back, a little surprised that she was actually having a   
_conversation_ with the girl who used to define "reclusive". She shook   
it off and answered. "No," she said, sadly. "No one's seen Asuka, and   
she hasn't tried to communicate with anyone."  
  
Rei nodded in response. Several days ago, Asuka had run out of the   
apartment, and had just...disappeared. They'd all assumed she'd be   
back soon, but it had been nearly a week, now.  
  
Of course, with most of Tokyo-3 in ruins now, the much-vaunted   
surveillance system was worth almost nothing. Asuka could remain   
hidden for as long as she wanted. Misato just hoped the girl wouldn't   
do anything she'd regret later.  
  
But, on the upside, it had given Rei a place to sleep. Misato felt   
bad, giving Asuka's room to someone else, and so soon after she'd left,   
but there were no other bedrooms in the apartment.  
  
Shinji came in a few minutes later, with three plates. Just toast for   
Misato, noodles for Rei, and eggs for himself. "So what are we doing   
today, Misato-san?" he asked. He moved to sit down, but then he   
noticed Pen-pen's hungry look. Groaning, he turned around to go get   
something for the bird.  
  
He failed to notice Rei's sidelong glance at him, and the slight blush   
creeping over the girl's cheeks. Misato _did_ notice, however. She   
glanced between the pair, covering the move by taking another sip of   
beer.  
  
Rei had been acting...strangely around Shinji these past few days.   
Misato hadn't been able to understand it at first. Then, just   
yesterday, she'd given up looking at Rei as "The Emotionless One" and   
tried looking at her as though she were just another girl. It had hit   
her like a freight train. Rei wouldn't...like Shinji, would she? But   
there were definite signs. It was too bad that Shinji could be a   
little slow on the uptake, sometimes. Now if only she had time to push   
him into seeing it.  
  
Misato sighed. No, today was going to have to be all-work. She'd have   
to see about swinging some time off for Shinji. And then finding an   
excuse not to be in the apartment herself.  
  
"Misato-san?" Shinji asked, coming back after leaving some leftovers   
from dinner for Pen-pen.  
  
"Oh! Sorry, I was just thinking about something else, there," she   
said, laughing it off. "Uh...right. We're supposed to meet the Fifth   
Child today, and probably run him through some tests."  
  
Shinji sighed and then nodded somberly, looking at the floor. "How   
much longer does this have to go on?" he asked himself.  
  
"Do not worry, Shinji-kun," Rei said, hearing him. "The Dead Sea   
Scrolls predict only seventeen Angels, which mean only one is left."  
  
Shinji nodded again. "I guess you're right," he said, opening his   
eyes, but not looking up. For a split second, Rei actually appeared   
saddened that she couldn't make Shinji feel better. But if she felt   
that way, she hid it almost immediately.  
  
They finished breakfast in relative silence. "Right..." Misato said,   
once they were done. "Well, I should..." she trailed off as the phone   
rang. "I'll get it," she said, getting up.  
  
Shinji glanced over at the girl next to him. "So what's your day look   
like, Rei?"  
  
Rei glanced at him questioningly, then shrugged. "I suppose I will   
find more books to read."  
  
Shinji nodded. "I'm really sorry you have to stay here while we're   
gone. You've got to be getting some cabin fever."  
  
"It is all right."  
  
Shinji shook his head. ^No, it's _not_ all right,^ he thought. ^A   
girl your age should be able to go talk with her friends, go to the   
movies, and...I don't know, whatever it is girls do.^ But Rei couldn't   
do that. With a perfect double of the girl working at NERV, it was   
safer for her to stay locked up in here, with no one but a warm water   
penguin for company. The really tragic part was that the girl didn't   
seem to mind. Shinji got the feeling Rei was used to being confined in   
a room.  
  
"Will...you be able to stay for a while?" Rei asked, hesitantly.  
  
Shinji paused at the unexpected question, then shrugged. "I guess," he   
said. "We don't have any tests until this afternoon." He looked up   
as he heard Misato's voice become more excited. Because of this, he   
didn't see Rei smile at what he'd just said.  
  
"I believe Katsuragi-san has several films, which I was considering as   
a way to pass the time," Rei began, hesitantly. "If you would like to   
watch them with me - "  
  
Rei was cut off as Misato charged back in. "Shinji!" she called out.   
"They found her!"  
  
"What?" Shinji asked, jumping to his feet.  
  
"They found Asuka!" Misato yelled out, tearing down the hall to her   
room. "She's just been moved to the medical ward!"  
  
"How is she?" Shinji asked, running to the door and struggling into his   
shoes.  
  
"I don't know, they wouldn't tell me. But they say we can see her."  
  
Shinji nodded wordlessly. He was having trouble tying his shoelaces.  
  
There was a flurry of activity, and soon afterwards Misato was at the   
door, fully dressed and with Shinji at her side. "We'll tell you how   
it goes," she said to Rei, who was still at the table.  
  
"Yeah. See you this evening, Rei," Shinji said, following Misato out   
the door. He closed the door quickly.  
  
Rei hadn't moved the whole time. She'd just been watching the   
activity, trying to understand what was going on. Her morning had   
actually had an opportunity to spend time with Shinji, and now...  
  
She looked at Pen-pen, who had waddled into the room. "Would _you_   
consider joining me in watching some of Major Katsuragi's films?" she   
asked the bird.  
  
***  
  
Asuka lay in the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. She'd just   
recently been brought here by NERV representatives. She could have   
gotten out of bed, but at the moment she saw no point in doing so.  
  
"Why am I even bothering?" she asked the faceless ceiling.  
  
She'd been hiding in the rubble of Tokyo-3 for the past few days.   
She'd seen a few NERV men moving around, but she was always able to   
dodge them before they saw her. She got the feeling they weren't   
trying very hard to find her, though. ^Probably already found a   
replacement,^ she thought.  
  
She'd been alone, the one thing she really feared the most. No one to   
impress with her abilities. No one to praise her. And no one to   
distract her from her thoughts. She'd been left sitting alone with   
memories she could normally push down and concentrate on something   
else. But there hadn't _been_ anything else to distract her.  
  
Eventually, it had gotten to be too much. She hadn't wanted to stay   
away any longer. She would never say it out loud, but she'd missed the   
people at NERV. Tokyo-3 was no Germany, but it had been her home. And   
she couldn't run from home forever. So, she'd just sat down in a   
ruined house, and waited for them to find her. And now...here she was.  
  
She heard the door to the hospital room open. Asuka rolled to face   
away from the door, not wanting to anyone to see her the way she was   
now. Footsteps came up to the side of the bed. She didn't bother   
looking up; she was sure it would be some NERV official, or a doctor.  
  
"Sohryuu?" came a boy's voice.  
  
Asuka started, rolling over and sitting up. She looked up at the boy   
who'd come in. He was not tall, but somehow seemed to dominate the   
room. His red eyes caught her attention, reminding her of Wondergirl.   
She tried to get angry at the intrusion, but she couldn't summon up the   
motivation for even that.  
  
"Who are you?" she mumbled, suddenly becoming conscious of how   
revealing a hospital gown could be. She got out of bed and stood up   
straight, wanting to at least face her visitor eye-to-eye.  
  
"Just someone come to visit you," the boy said, putting his hands in   
his pockets. He slowly started circling the bed, over to the side   
Asuka was standing on. "I'd heard you had a rough time out there."  
  
Asuka looked at him suspiciously. "Yeah..." she said, slowly. "But   
how'd you know I came back? I only just got here."  
  
"I have my sources," the boy said, stopping at the foot of the bed.   
"Have you even seen a doctor, yet?"  
  
Asuka shook her head. "I'm just not important enough to check up on,"   
she said quietly, crossing her arms and turning away. In doing so, she   
failed to see the malicious glint appear in the boy's eyes.  
  
Asuka was about to say something else, but stopped as she felt her arm   
going cold. She tried to lift it up to look at it, but it wouldn't   
move. Then her legs failed her. She fell backwards, the boy rushing   
forwards and catching her before she hit her head on the floor. He   
carefully lifted her up and lay her back down on the bed, ignoring the   
pleading look on her face.   
  
The boy actually appeared amused as he stood back up. "Don't worry,"   
he said, soothingly. "I'll let you live. I only need to get you out of the way for a while."  
  
"You...mother..fuc..." Asuka tried to say. She didn't finish;   
consciousness left her, and she went limp. Her eyes were still open...   
but they saw nothing at all.  
  
Kaoru sighed, watching her chest slowly rise and fall. He turned and   
looked up as he heard footsteps approaching from the outside.  
  
The door opened up, and a slightly overweight doctor, one of the few   
people who'd stayed behind after the city had been destroyed, walked   
in.  
  
"We've only just admitted her, but they said her condition was good,"   
the doctor was saying. "Oh, Nagisa-san, I see you beat us here."  
  
Before Kaoru could reply, a purple-haired woman Kaoru vaguely   
remembered from the NERV staff files pushed past the doctor and into   
the room. She was followed soon after by none other than Shinji Ikari.  
  
"Asuka!" both Misato and Shinji called out at once.  
  
"Asuka, are you feeling..." Shinji said, trailing off.  
  
"Asuka, how did you..." Misato said at the same time. Neither of them   
had completed their sentences, since they could both see Asuka was just   
staring blankly at the ceiling.  
  
"Mr. Nayamura says he found her in a bathtub out in the ruins," the   
doctor began, not having seen Asuka yet. "She's on the edge of   
malnutrition, but she'll..."  
  
"What's wrong with her?" Misato asked, seeing that Asuka still hadn't   
moved.  
  
The doctor peered past her. "Sohryuu-san?" he asked the comatose girl.   
When Asuka remained silent, he slowly went over to her and checked her   
pulse. Finding one, he and turned and looked at them helplessly.  
  
"She was fine when we admitted her..." he began.  
  
Misato grabbed him and pushed him against the wall. Seemingly   
appearing from out of nowhere, her gun was in her hand, and pressed   
into the man's head. "You're telling me she just spontaneously went   
_comatose?_" she asked.  
  
The doctor looked at the gun pressed into his head and proceeded to wet   
himself. But he still managed a shaky nod. "I don't know!" he   
shouted. "She hasn't seen a doctor yet!"  
  
While Misato tried to get an answer out of the doctor, Shinji walked up   
to Asuka, grabbed her by the shoulders, and shook her.  
  
"Please, Asuka..." he said. "Don't do this. I'm sorry I slapped you.   
Don't do this to me. Wake up!"  
  
"Stop it," Kaoru said, putting one hand on Shinji's shoulder.  
  
Shinji turned, noticed Kaoru, and backed off immediately. He'd been so   
concerned with how Asuka was doing that he hadn't noticed that there   
was someone already here. Even though Shinji knew he'd never seen the   
boy before in his life, for some reason the voice sounded familiar...  
  
"You'll only hurt her if you try to move her," Kaoru said, gingerly   
smoothing out Asuka's hair. "She's still alive; you needn't worry,   
Ikari-Shinji-kun."  
  
Misato turned away from the doctor, who by this point was too scared to   
say anything at all. "Who are you?" she asked Kaoru.  
  
"And how did you know my name?" Shinji asked, soon after.  
  
Kaoru held up his hands, smiling a little. He did his best to meet   
both their gazes. "I'm Kaoru Nagisa," he replied. "And I'd come to   
visit Sohryuu."  
  
"Why?" Misato asked, her hand twitching on her gun.  
  
"I'd seen a young girl out living on her own among the ruins. I   
decided I'd check on her after I heard she'd been recovered."  
  
"Was she like this when you came here?" Misato asked, calming down and   
holstering her gun.  
  
"Yes," Kaoru sighed out, meeting her gaze evenly and putting his hands   
in his pockets. "She was comatose when I arrived. I can't understand   
why," he said, sympathy filling his voice, as he turned to look back at   
the German girl.  
  
"That does it," Misato said, turning towards the door. "I'm going to   
get some answers. Shinji, wait here for me," she added on, as she   
dragged the blubbering doctor out the door.  
  
The two boys remained in silence. Shinji glanced at Asuka and   
shuddered. In an effort to think about something else, he looked over   
at Kaoru. "You still didn't tell me," he said. "How do you know my   
name?"  
  
"Everyone knows your name," the boy said, turning his head to look at   
Shinji. "I don't mean to sound rude, but you're rather ignorant of   
your own position."  
  
"My...position?" Shinji asked, hesitantly.  
  
"The pilot of Eva Unit-01," Kaoru said. He looked back at Asuka.   
"Currently the only viable Eva unit."  
  
Shinji shook his head. "Why did this have to happen?" he asked   
himself. They stood there in silence for another moment, before Shinji   
got fed up and walked out. Kaoru followed him.  
  
Shinji leaned against the wall outside the door. "Not again..." he   
whispered, sliding down the wall to sit down on the floor.  
  
"What's wrong?" Kaoru asked, sitting down next to the boy.  
  
Shinji glanced over at him. "It's not your business," he said. "Why   
should you bother?"  
  
"Because I care about others," Kaoru replied, simply. "I didn't know   
Sohryuu personally, yet I still came here. Because I wanted to make   
sure she was all right."  
  
"Not many people left like that..." Shinji said, trailing off. He   
glanced at Kaoru. "What are you doing here, anyway, Nagisa-kun? In   
the city, I mean."  
  
Kaoru shrugged. "Various reasons. But...Ikari-kun, what did you   
mean?"  
  
"Ah..." Shinji began. "It's just...it seems like every time I start to   
get close to someone, something like this happens," he said, looking at   
the floor. "Just under a year ago, I actually had friends in this   
city. Two guys, Touji and Kensuke. They were fun to be around."  
  
"And now they've left, while you've had to stay behind," Kaoru said,   
completing the thought for him.  
  
Shinji nodded, but hesitantly. "But...before that..." he said, looking   
at his right hand. In his mind's eye, he could see the possessed Unit-  
01 clutching Unit-03's entry plug. And then, crushing it.  
  
"And you feel you're being hurt again?"  
  
"I _know_ I'm being hurt again. Asuka was like a sister to me," Shinji   
said. "She was a brat, but I guess I got used to her. The apartment   
seems so...quiet, without her around." He looked up, back over at   
Kaoru. He smiled a little, to the confusement of the gray-haired boy.  
  
"I don't even know why I'm telling you all this," Shinji said. "I'm   
just giving you my burdens, Nagisa-kun."  
  
"The Lillum all need someone to rely on," Kaoru replied. "It is not in   
our nature to live alone."  
  
Shinji shook his head. "Sure is easier, though." He rested his head   
against the cold metal wall, eyes closed.  
  
Kaoru frowned. "Is there more you'd like to say?" he asked, lightly   
touching Shinji's shoulder. The other boy opened his eyes and looked   
at Kaoru.   
  
"I will listen, if you want, Ikari-kun," the gray-haired boy finished.  
  
"I don't know," Shinji replied, glancing over at the door.   
"What...what did you mean by 'Lillum'? What's that?"  
  
"Just a term I use," Kaoru said, taking his hand from Shinji's   
shoulder. He folded his hands behind his head and leaned against the   
wall. "Lillith is the mother of all life, and humans are one of her   
children."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Conversation died after that. They sat there, in silence, until Misato   
came walking back up the hallway.  
  
"Well, the people here aren't being any help," the Major said. "Are   
you all right, Shinji?"  
  
"I'll live," Shinji said, in a near-monotone. He stood up. Misato   
gave him a sympathetic look, but she honestly didn't know what to say.   
Shaking her head, she turned and walked down the hallway, with Shinji   
in tow. The boy soon noticed that Kaoru had gotten up as well, and was   
walking alongside him.  
  
"I guess here's where we say goodbye, Nagisa-kun," Shinji said, making   
eye contact again and trying to smile. "Thanks for listening."  
  
"It was my pleasure, Ikari-kun. And I don't believe we yet have to   
part. You are headed to NERV, correct?"  
  
"Uh...yeah."  
  
"As am I. There is a synch test in just a few hours, if I remember   
correctly. I cannot be late for that."  
  
Shinji stopped walking, feeling the blood drain from his face.   
"You...you're..."  
  
"The Fifth Child?" Kaoru asked. He stopped walking as well, turning to   
face Shinji. "Yes," he answered. "I suppose I'll be tested in Unit-  
02."  
  
Shinji was dumbfounded. This boy...who seemed like a nice enough   
kid...was a _pilot_?  
  
"And call me Kaoru," the boy added on. "I'd...like to be on more   
familiar terms."  
  
Shinji shook his head to clear it. "S...sure thing...Kaoru-kun. I   
guess you can call me Shinji." ^What am I _doing_?^ he asked himself.   
^Everyone I ever meet gets hurt...why am I trying to make another   
friend?^  
  
"Hey, you two! Hurry up!" Misato called out, already at the end of the   
hallway.  
  
"C-coming, Misato-san!" Shinji replied. He jogged off after the woman,   
with Kaoru easily matching stride. "Do you need a ride, Kaoru-kun?" he   
asked, as they caught up to Misato.  
  
Kaoru smiled. "Yes, I do, Shinji-kun."  
  
***  
  
Ritsuko took another drink from her coffee, letting the caffeine work   
its magic on her system. She followed this up with a long drag on her   
cigarette.  
  
In front of her were sevearal monitors. She'd just accessed the files   
of the NERV video cameras, like she did every week. She wasn't really   
supposed to be doing this, but if Ikari knew, he wasn't saying   
anything.  
  
Those last files had been interesting. One of started with Asuka lying   
in her bed, talking to herself. Then, it had gone to static, clearing   
some minutes later. After it had cleared, Misato, Shinji, and that new   
boy had been visible. And, more importantly, Asuka had been in a coma.   
Something was up, and Ritsuko knew it. If only she could've seen what   
had happened in those few minutes...  
  
A gentle knocking at the door made Ritsuko jump. She said nothing, but   
she extinguished her cigarette.  
  
"Sempai..." came Maya's voice from outside. "The Fifth Child will be   
arriving soon. Don't you want to be there for the test?"  
  
Ritsuko held back a sigh of relief. If it had been anyone other than   
Maya, she'd probably be under arrest now. "Already?" she asked.   
"Fine, I'll be out in a few minutes."  
  
"...okay, sempai. See you there."  
  
Ritsuko shook her head, smiling a little as she heard Maya's footsteps   
echo off down the hallway. It was adorable, how much the other woman   
looked up to her.   
  
But she didn't have time for sentimentality. She only had a few   
minutes left, and there was still something she needed to do.  
  
Her fingers flew across the keyboard she was sitting in front of.   
Taking another sip of her coffee, she watched as one of the views   
shifted, to the real-time view from the Katsuragi apartment. Ritsuko   
doubted Misato even knew there were video cameras hidden in her home.   
She always _had_ depended on Ritsuko to clean up her messes.  
  
On the screen, she could see Rei sitting on the couch. The girl was   
resting her elbow on the arm of the couch and resting her chin on her   
hand. She was watching one of Misato's movies, from the looks of it.   
Pen-pen was sitting with her on the couch, a beer clutched in one of   
his flippers. Ritsuko couldn't see Rei's face from this angle, but she   
could almost swear the girl looked bored.  
  
She stared at the image for a while. She felt terrible, inside. She   
was looking at a living, breathing human being, who just over a week   
ago, she'd been ready to kill. For no reason other than because Gendo   
had told her to. ^What have I become?^ she wondered. ^Have I really   
gotten as bad as my mother? No, I'm worse; she did what she did out of   
her own free will. I did it just because I was told to.^  
  
"I'm sorry..." Ritsuko whispered, touching the screen. If only she   
could apologize to the girl in person.  
  
She had intended to show Misato the truth. She, if anyone, had a right   
to know who Rei Ayanami was. But Ritsuko had changed her mind when   
she'd seen Rei at the apartment. If Misato knew the truth, then she -   
and probably Shinji - would look at the girl _very_ differently. And   
Rei didn't need to become an outcast, right now.   
  
Ritsuko shook her head, her logical side fighting with her emotional   
side. Rei's survival was already complicating things, just because...  
  
^Just because I decided not to sell my soul,^ she thought.  
  
Frowning, she tapped several keys, accessing a back door she'd found   
into Caspar. After she'd put in a few more codes, she started up a   
program she'd only recently written. Not even Gendo knew about it;   
she'd taken precautions this time to make sure he didn't find out. It   
was all she could do for Rei, at this moment.  
  
She looked at the screen as it hazed over for a minute with static. It   
cleared up a moment later. Only now, a new image was there. Multiple   
scenes from past video files had been quickly mixed and matched,   
creating a rather convincing shot of an empty apartment. This was what   
anyone else viewing the video files would see.  
  
Nodding, Ritsuko shut down the computer terminal and went to go conduct   
the test on the Fifth Child.  
  
***  
  
Misato dropped Shinji and Kaoru off at the front gate, and then drove   
off to park her car. The two boys went into NERV headquarters. Shinji   
led the way, having long ago memorized the path they would have to   
take.  
  
He headed for the changing room, where they'd get ready before seeing   
Kaoru do his stuff. His mind was full of conflicting thoughts. He'd   
just lost Asuka to some freak coma. But here next to him was someone   
new. He didn't like that they'd replaced Asuka so quickly, but what   
could he do about it? In any case, he knew that Kaoru would be   
important. Sure, there was just one fight to go, but the Angels had   
been getting progressively tougher. There was no telling what this   
next one would be like.  
  
He was about to make the turn down the last hallway to the changing   
room when he saw movement out the corner of his eye. He turned his   
head to look.  
  
He saw Rei...sort of. Well, someone who looked a heck of a lot like   
Rei. She was riding the escalator up to this floor. She had the   
standard emotionless mask on, as well as the school uniform she   
infallibly wore to NERV.  
  
"That is the...First Child, correct?" Kaoru asked, following Shinji's   
gaze.  
  
Shinji hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah," he said. "But her Eva's gone."  
  
"Interesting. Go on ahead, Shinji-kun. I'd like to meet this First   
Child."  
  
"Good luck," Shinji replied, sarcastically. "She's not   
very...sociable." He instantly felt bad for having said that. He   
quickly thought of the Rei back at the apartment. Everything he said   
about _this_ Rei, he couldn't help thinking he was also saying it about   
the Rei back home.  
  
Kaoru flashed his smile again, then turned to go meet Rei at the head   
of the elevator.  
  
Confused as to why Kaoru would be so interested, Shinji turned and   
headed for the changing room. He got there without any trouble. He   
opened up his locker and got dressed. It took him a very short time,   
since he'd changed into his plugsuit so many times now he could do it   
without thinking. A click of a wrist button, and the suit contracted   
around him.  
  
He checked the clock. He still had a good fifteen minutes before the   
test. Sighing, he picked up his SDAT player and lay down on the   
nearest available bench. He knew he should probably be up with the   
Evas, getting ready, but he didn't want to have to spend any more time   
in the entry plug than he had to.  
  
He slid a tape into the SDAT player, and put his headphones on. In   
moments, soothing music was playing into his ears. he closed his eyes,   
waiting for someone to tell him to get moving.  
  
"What are you listening to?" came a voice in front of him. He opened   
his eyes, quickly noticing Kaoru's face in front of him. It looked   
like he'd said whatever he'd wanted to say to Rei.  
  
"Nothing much," Shinji replied, hesitantly. "I think it's Bach."  
  
"I love music," the boy said, walking off down the banks of lockers.   
"It's possibly the greatest achievement of human culture."  
  
"Uh...yeah," Shinji said, shutting off the music. "I guess. I was   
just passing time."  
  
"Hm," the boy said, finding what appeared to be his locker and opening   
it up. "Were you waiting for me, Shinji-kun?"  
  
"I...uh...maybe..." Shinji replied, hesitantly. He tried hard to block   
out Kaoru, but he couldn't help himself. He liked the forwardness of   
this boy, as well as the hint that he was being totally honest.  
  
^I know I'll just get hurt again,^ he thought, ^but I can't go back to   
living alone, either. That might actually be worse.^  
  
Shinji politely turned his head as Kaoru changed. He knew Kaoru was a   
guy, but, still...  
  
Unfortunately, turning his head gave him a good view of the curtain   
between him and Rei, who had somehow come down here without him   
noticing. She was also in the process of pulling off her clothes.   
Shinji blushed and looked back in Kaoru's general direction.  
  
Kaoru changed his clothes methodically, not appearing to care if Shinji   
was looking at him or not. All the time, he kept that slight smile on   
his face. He sealed his black-and-red plugsuit just as Rei stepped out   
from behind the curtain, fully clothed. The girl walked briskly past   
them, not even offering a glance in their general direction.  
  
"I guess we should be going, Kaoru-kun," Shinji said.  
  
"I suppose so," Kaoru replied, his smile widening. Seeing Kaoru smile   
made Shinji happier, too. For once, someone in this city was not   
always so depressed. Something about the boy seemed carefree and   
optimistic, though Shinji couldn't place what.  
  
Shinji sat up and put his SDAT player away. They started up towards   
the entry plugs.  
  
Shinji couldn't help noticing the striking resemblance between Kaoru   
and the remaining pilot. As they arrived in the testing room, Shinji   
glanced over at the Rei lookalike, who was waiting calmly for their   
arrival. She didn't seem to notice that he was looking at her, but   
Shinji knew better from experience. In any case, he didn't know what   
to make of the resemblance. Maybe they were distant relatives.  
  
He climbed up into Unit-01's entry plug, assisted by the techs that   
were currently on standby. As he did this, Shinji kept an eye on   
Kaoru, who appeared to be having no trouble getting into Unit-02's   
entry plug. Almost as though he did this every day, the other boy slid   
into the plug and closed it, before Shinji had finished getting into   
his own.  
  
Surprised at the boy's speed, Shinji finished getting into the mockup   
for Unit-01's entry plug, and then closed it behind him.  
  
The test began.  
  
***  
  
Rei was sitting on the couch, reading a book. A manga actually,   
entitled "No Need for Tenchi, Volume 7." She'd run out of things to   
read days ago, and had gone looking for other things to do. In her   
search, she'd found a surprisingly extensive manga collection at the   
back of Misato's closet, buried under a bunch of old clothes. And   
she'd been reading that since then.  
  
Every once in a while, a hint of a smile would cross her lips. This   
was definitely not fine reading, but it was interesting, nonetheless.   
And the characters seemed kind of familiar, actually.  
  
She was dressed in a blouse and skirt, and for once, her hair had been   
brushed into some semblance of order. Misato had been able to procure   
a few sets of used girls clothing, from sources she didn't name. The   
clothes didn't fit very well, but Rei had made the most of what she   
had.   
  
But then she'd remembered how she'd felt at the possibility of Shinji   
staying a little longer in the morning. She had been excited, but   
she'd also become self-conscious, a rare emotion for her. She'd   
actually been worried about how she looked. After Shinji and Misato   
had left, Rei had wondered if it was time for a change.   
  
So, she'd made an effort to look nicer. She'd actually spent time   
considering the way clothes made her look, choosing what her limited   
experience could define as "pretty". She'd never felt like cleaning   
up, or putting on something nice before, but she was willing to give it   
a shot. She found herself wishing she had a mirror to try   
straightening out her hair again.  
  
She looked up as she heard the door unlock. She set the manga on the   
couch cushion and smoothed out her skirt. She looked up, expecting to   
see Shinji walk in through the door, like he always did.  
  
Instead, Misato came in, breathing hard.  
  
"Rei, quick, you have to leave for a minute," she said all at once.   
Rei was still able to make sense of it, fortunately.  
  
"Why?" Rei asked, getting to her feet. She headed for her shoes, by   
the door.  
  
"Because Shinji's made a new friend at NERV, and this kid's seen the   
Rei who works there. Shinji-kun's brought his friend here for a little   
while. I just need you to lay low for an hour or two."  
  
"Oh," Rei said, disappointment seeping into her voice. "Very well,   
sir." She put on her shoes and headed out the door.  
  
"Do you need anything?" Misato asked the girl, as she started down the   
hallway.  
  
"No," Rei said, without turning or slowing down. She was out of sight   
in moments.  
  
Misato shrugged and looked the other way, just in time to see Shinji   
coming around the corner with Kaoru. The two boys were chatting as   
though they'd been friends for years. Misato smiled, looking at them.   
It was nice to see Shinji reaching out, for once. He and Asuka had   
never really gotten along, but this boy...who knew. Maybe they could   
really be friends.  
  
The two boys went inside the apartment. Shinji was currently telling   
Kaoru about his first battle in an Eva. It was amazing; normally   
Shinji clammed up when Evas were being discussed.  
  
"That was very brave," Kaoru said. "Were you scared?"  
  
"Well, yeah, but I knew R...Ayanami would die if I didn't do it."  
  
"That was honorable, Shinji. I doubt many people would have done so."  
  
"Th...thanks."  
  
They got into the living room just as the first raindrops hit Misato's   
windowpanes.  
  
"Well, looks like we got in just in time," Misato said, going to get a   
beer.  
  
"Yeah," Shinji said. He refrained from looking around for their other   
houseguest; he knew Misato had told Rei to lay low. He looked over at   
Kaoru, who was staring out the windows.  
  
"Something wrong, Kaoru-kun?"  
  
"Rain," he said, as though he hadn't heard Shinji. "The planet is   
renewing itself. Even the Lillum are subject to its mercies, for all   
their advancement."  
  
"Uh...yeah."  
  
"Or perhaps the sky is crying. Though that is natural, as well. We   
all need to cry once in a while," he said, turning his head to look at   
Shinji. "Don't we, Shinji-kun?"  
  
Shinji found himself smiling. "I guess you're right," he said.   
"Though too much can hurt, just as well." He looked out the windows,   
too, trying to see what Kaoru could.  
  
But he couldn't concentrate. He kept worrying about what Rei was going   
to do, now that it was raining.  
  
***  
  
Rei was angry. Normally, she would have been intrigued by the new   
sensation, but this time, she wasn't. It just seemed like what was   
natural for her to feel.  
  
She stalked down the hallway. Although her face was still fairly calm,   
she seemed to irradiate fury. Had anyone been in the hallway, they   
would have immediately gotten out of the way if they saw the blue-  
haired girl.   
  
^Shinji-kun's made a new friend. Good for him,^ she thought to   
herself. ^It's _good_ for him to do that. With all his other friends   
gone, he must _really_ be lonely.^  
  
She turned and started descending the flights of stairs to the street.   
She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she had to get out   
for a while. And not just because she'd been ordered to.  
  
^Shinji-kun _knew_ I'd be here,^ she thought. ^Why'd he have to bring   
someone home? And I had to try looking nicer _today_. I'm never going   
to change again.^  
  
She reached the building's lobby and looked outside. Her shoulders   
sagged as she saw that it had started to rain. It wasn't very heavy;   
normally she wouldn't have minded walking through it, so long as the   
trip was short. But she didn't want to mess up the clothes she'd spent   
so much time picking out.  
  
"There's no point in changing," she muttered to herself, giving voice   
to her most recent thought. "It just makes existence more difficult."  
  
"But you can't avoid it, can you, Rei?"  
  
Rei stopped and whirled around. She was met with the sight of Ritsuko   
Akagi, who for once was not wearing a lab coat.  
  
"Sorry if I scared you," she said. "But I followed Misato here. I   
assume you've got some time to yourself, right now?"  
  
Rei nodded in response, staring into Ritsuko's face.  
  
"Then there's...something I'd like to show you, if you don't mind."  
  
Rei paused, thinking it over. Then: "Very well, sir."  
  
Ritsuko pushed the door open, and they stepped out into the rain,   
sharing Ritsuko's umbrella. They walked in silence for several   
minutes. Ritsuko lit a cigarette, trying to figure out what she'd say.  
  
They stopped in front of Ritsuko's car, which was parked behind   
Misato's building. They both got in, and Ritsuko started the engine,   
quietly driving off.  
  
"I've seen you on the video surveillance system covering the Katsuragi   
apartment," Ritsuko began. "I figured you'd come here. You wouldn't   
know where else to go."  
  
Rei remained silent.  
  
"It was a good choice, anyway. And don't worry about the surveillance   
system. I've had a back door into it since it was set up, and I've got   
Caspar doctoring the tapes. No one will know about you, unless you   
want them to."  
  
Rei still said nothing. She could feel Akagi had not just come to tell   
her this.  
  
"Rei, I came because you're the only one I can safely talk to."  
  
"Why is that, sir?"  
  
"Because everyone thinks you're dead. And if you're dead, they can't   
interrogate you." She left out the part that _she_ had been the one   
who'd nearly killed Rei. It didn't need to be said, and Ritsuko felt   
guilty enough about it, already.  
  
Rei waited patiently for Akagi to continue. She stared straight ahead,   
taking in the path they were following. They appeared to be going to   
NERV.  
  
"I came to tell you what I know about the Seventeenth Angel," Ritsuko   
began.  
  
***  
  
"AAACHOO!"  
  
"That's a nasty sneeze, Nagisa-san," Misato said. "Do you have a   
cold?"  
  
"No, I believe not," Kaoru said, rubbing at his itchy nose. Shrugging,   
he turned back to the movie he was watching with Shinji.  
  
***  
  
"I need to warn you to warn you about Shinji's new friend," Akagi said,   
after a moment. "He's the Fifth Child, Kaoru Nagisa."  
  
"Why do you need to warn me?"  
  
Ritsuko sighed to herself, then glanced back and forth reflexively,   
even though they were still in the car. "Because _he_ is the   
Seventeenth Angel," she said, finally. "He is the last one."  
  
Rei was visibly surprised by what Akagi had just revealed. She turned   
to see if Ritsuko was being honest. It sure looked that way.  
  
"Is he an artificial Angel, like my third iteration is?" Rei asked.  
  
Ritsuko nodded. "It didn't take me long to figure it out, with the   
tests we ran today. I'm trying to drop hints to Misato, but I can't   
tell her outright, or someone will suspect something."  
  
"I guess...I should not be as surprised as I am," Rei said, quietly.   
"I knew the Seventeenth would be different from the others."  
  
"But not this different, I suppose. You were expecting another   
grotesque monster, then?"  
  
Rei blinked. "My clone is an Angel," she said. "Is _she_ a grotesque   
monster, sir?"  
  
Ritsuko looked into Rei's face, seeing actual anger there. "My   
apologies," she said. "I didn't think." Rei seemed to calm down at   
these words. They sat in silence, speeding through the rain. After a   
few minutes, the entrance to the Geofront loomed in front of them.  
  
"You really don't know what you are, do you, Rei?" Ritsuko asked,   
easing the car to a stop.  
  
Rei thought about what that could mean, then shook her head no.  
  
"Would you like to know?"  
  
Rei pondered that for only a moment before nodding. "Is it safe to do   
so?" she asked.  
  
"I've already set up the programs I'll need. Once I put them in   
motion, we'll have a window of about two hours, during which we won't   
show up on the surveillance system. But just to make sure...you're   
_sure_ you want to know the truth?"  
  
Rei nodded again.  
  
"All right," Ritsuko said. She started the car again. "We'll take the   
express elevator. I think I'm still cleared for it."  
  
They went around to one particular entrance. Ritsuko's ID card got   
them through the computerized gate, and onto the car lift beyond. They   
descended quickly.  
  
Rei had no doubt, so far, that she'd made the right choice. The truth   
was always better than a lie.  
  
***  
  
Some time later, Rei was sitting on a bed. It closely resembled the   
bed back at her old apartment. In fact, the entire _room_ closely   
resembled her old apartment. She could vaguely remember spending a lot   
of time here, when she was younger.  
  
One of her sleeves was rolled up, allowing Ritsuko to draw out a small   
amount of blood from her shoulder. Rei was quickly becoming confused.   
Akagi had implied that something terrible was hidden down here. But   
all she'd seen so far was an Eva dumping ground and this room.  
  
Ritsuko slid the small vial of blood into an old testing machine, and   
powered it up. The machine vibrated noisily, being activated for the   
first time in years, but it still worked. Ritsuko pressed a few more   
buttons on the machine and then let it do its work on the blood.  
  
She glanced over at Rei, who'd rolled her sleeve back down and was   
gazing around disinterestedly. ^Come on, you fool,^ she thought to   
herself. ^Can't you at least _apologize_ to the poor girl? She   
deserves at least that much.^  
  
"Rei, I...I'm..."  
  
Rei turned to meet Ritsuko's gaze. Ritsuko trailed off, then shook her   
head and started towards the next door. "Come this way," she said.   
Rei didn't reply, but Ritsuko could hear the girl's footsteps behind   
her.  
  
They walked through a maze of tunnels, Ritsuko leading the way. Every   
few minutes, Ritsuko would check her watch.  
  
"Rei, what can you remember of your early childhood?" Ritsuko asked,   
suddenly.  
  
Rei cocked her head a little at the odd question. "Very little," she   
responded, finally. "I can remember a few things, but they're   
very...undefined."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"But I suppose that is normal. Few humans can easily remember their   
earliest years."  
  
"Hm. What's your strongest memory?"  
  
Rei's brow furrowed as she concentrated on a set of fuzzy images in her   
mind. It wasn't clear at all, but...  
  
"I think I can remember your mother, Dr. Akagi."  
  
"Really?" Ritsuko asked. Her gait slowed and stopped. She turned to   
face Rei. "And...what...can you remember about her?"  
  
Rei thought some more. "All I can think of is that she had very strong   
hands."  
  
Ritsuko nodded. "I didn't expect you to remember much," she said,   
turning and continuing her walk. "You usually lose a lot of definition   
when you transfer a soul."  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"What did your clone tell you? Do you know there have been three of   
you, counting you and the other one?"  
  
"...yes."  
  
They stepped into a large room with dark walls. A mass of metal tubing   
dominated it, with a glass tank resembling an entry plug sitting at the   
bottom.  
  
"The whole concept behind you was to make an artificial Angel."  
  
"Yes, I knew that."  
  
Ritsuko nodded hesitantly. "But...there were so many variables. Do   
you remember that large white Angel you pulled the Lancea Longinus out   
of?"  
  
Rei nodded.  
  
"It took years," Ritsuko continued, as though she hadn't even noticed   
Rei's response. She took a minute to light a cigarette. "But we - my   
mother and I - made a computer program called Conception. It was able   
to copy that patterns from the soul of one being and put them into a   
cloned body. So we used the Angel downstairs as a template, and made   
your soul." Ritsuko emphasized this by pointing at the floor, in the   
general direction of the crucified Angel.  
  
Rei just blinked in response. She was trying to take it all in at   
once, and it was proving to be a little too much.  
  
"But you were so important, we knew we had to hedge our bets, in case   
you had an accident. We had the ability to take your soul out of one   
body and move it to another in the event of your death..."  
  
"So you made a spare one of me," Rei said.  
  
Ritsuko chuckled. "A spare _one_? You're on the right track. This is   
what I wanted to show you, Rei." She reached into the pocket of her   
jacket and it a button on her remote control.  
  
The walls lit up.  
  
***  
  
For days afterwards, NERV personnel would be talking about it. It was   
mostly passed off as rumor, being so farfetched that not even Commander   
Ikari believed in it. It was passed off as the effect of stress   
getting to some of the workers.  
  
But a few people thought otherwise.  
  
Those people _knew_ that on the day the Fifth Child had arrived, they'd   
heard a young girl scream.  
  
***  
  
Ritsuko leaned against the wall, closing her eyes in agitation. ^I   
just _had_ to go and give her the hard truth, didn't I. Stupid,   
stupid, stupid...^  
  
She was standing just outside the bathroom in the mockup of Rei's   
apartment. Inside the bathroom, the noise of powerful vomiting could   
be heard.  
  
Mentally, Ritsuko made a note that Rei was acting very differently.   
Although she felt guilty for making the girl's life even harder, she   
wouldn't have guessed "Ice Girl" Rei would have reacted this strongly.   
She'd have believed a widening of the eyes, or maybe a mild gasp,   
but...  
  
Rei's scream had nearly deafened Akagi. She'd tried to calm the girl   
down, but it hadn't been any use. Rei had just pushed her away,   
covering her eyes with her hands to keep from looking at the walls.   
And then Rei had passed out cold.  
  
So Akagi had carried her back here, after powering down the room again.   
Rei had been stirring by the time they'd gotten back to the apartment-  
room. As soon as she'd come around, she'd run into the bathroom.  
  
Akagi looked up as she heard the blood analysis machine slow down and   
stop. Doing her best to ignore the noises from the bathroom, she went   
over to the machine and started reading the results. She quirked an   
eyebrow at what was coming up.  
  
After a few minutes, Rei came back. She'd cleaned off her face, and   
was wiping the water off of it.  
  
"Feel better?" Akagi asked.  
  
Rei shrugged noncommitally, then coughed and sat down on the bed. She   
brought her legs up and hugged them against her body. She stared   
blankly at a spot several meters in front of her.  
  
"We don't have much time left," Akagi said. "We should get going."  
  
"Yes sir," Rei croaked out, through a sore throat. She got up and   
followed Akagi, who made sure to leave everything the way it had been.  
  
"Well, the worst is over," Akagi said, as they walked. "But I'd like   
you to try answering a few questions, if it's all right."  
  
"It is all right," Rei responded, her voice still hoarse.  
  
"...have you registered any changes, Rei?" Ritsuko asked, after reading   
through the blood analysis again.  
  
"Such as?" Rei asked.  
  
"Well, there's your reaction here. And...I'd say you were jealous,   
back at the apartment."  
  
Rei's eyes widened at the word, but then she nodded. "Yes, I suppose   
'jealous' is an appropriate description for what I felt." She took a   
moment to pick out her next words. "My emotions seem to make more   
sense," she finally said. "Even though I still don't fully understand   
them."  
  
"It makes sense. According to this, the Angel part of your genetic   
structure has switched from the dominant part to the recessant part."  
  
Rei nodded, moving one hand down to rub at her stomach. She could   
still remember her own clone ripping out the core.  
  
"But your DNA as a whole is different. I shouldn't be getting these   
readings."  
  
"What readings?" Rei said, her throat still sore.  
  
"Well, I should be getting the genetic pattern of Yu...er...the human   
donor, here. But it looks like the two parts of your DNA aren't   
battling for supremacy, anymore. This is an original genetic pattern."  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
Ritsuko looked at the girl, and then smiled. "It just means you're   
your own person, Rei. Come on, let's take you home."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
They went back the the way they'd come. As they rode the elevator back   
to the surface, Ritsuko looked down at the blue-haired girl.  
  
"There's one other thing, Rei."  
  
Rei turned, meeting Akagi's eyes.  
  
"Your clone told me how she removed the core from you. Do you remember   
where she went to pull it out of you?"  
  
"I doubt I will ever forget," Rei said, unconsciously brushing at her   
abdomen.  
  
"Yes, well...this might be a little much for one day, but..."  
  
"It is all right, Dr. Akagi. You yourself said the worst was over."  
  
Ritsuko smiled sadly. ^Just apologize, dammit.^ "Well, you see...I've   
seen the records on you. You were made so you could house an S2   
engine."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Well, to do that, we had to make space for it. So...we genetically   
altered you so you wouldn't grow a uterus."  
  
Rei's brow furrowed at this.  
  
"You can never have children, Rei," Akagi said, bluntly.  
  
"Oh," Rei said, simply. She thought this over, then proceeded to go   
back to her old, emotionless self.  
  
"I'm afraid I'm not the person to talk to about something like that,"   
Akagi continued. "Maybe you can talk to Misa - "  
  
"Did you tell the Commander of this alteration?" Rei asked, cutting her   
off.  
  
Ritsuko paused before answering. "He was the one who suggested it,"   
she replied. "He didn't want you getting pregnant, anyway."  
  
Rei didn't respond to this. Ritsuko took this as a sign to shut up.   
Inside, though, she was still yelling at herself. ^Just tell her that   
you're sorry. Tell her that you want to help. Say _something_.^  
  
But Ritsuko remained as silent as Rei as they made it back to her car,   
and then drove back to the apartment.  
  
***  
  
The car stopped in behind the apartment building, again. Since it was   
still raining, Ritsuko got out first, letting Rei under her umbrella   
again. They walked around the block, towards the entrance to the   
building.  
  
"I can call Nagisa-kun out to another test," Ritsuko said. "That   
should make it safe enough for you to go back to the apartment."  
  
Rei nodded wordlessly.  
  
"There's one other thing," Ritsuko said, as they rounded the last   
corner. This was the last thing she had to do. After that, she   
figured her conscience would be satisfied, at least partially.  
  
She reached into a pocket of her jacket and pulled out a creased   
envelope, which she handed over to Rei.  
  
"Do you remember writing this?" she asked the girl.  
  
Rei opened the envelope and skimmed over the letter inside. "I...I'd   
forgotten. I forgot about this, in the events after the Sixteenth   
Angel."  
  
"It's all right, Rei," Ritsuko said. "People forget things all the   
time. It's normal. But you should just remember that what happened to   
you didn't change everything in your life."  
  
"..."  
  
^I never was good at human relations,^ Ritsuko thought. She tried   
another tack. "I figured you'd be able to make better use of this than   
your clone could."  
  
"..."  
  
^Oh, hell. Rei's never going to be a talkative type, anyhow.^ "I just   
want to remind you to be careful around the Fifth Child. And please   
try to protect Shinji. The Seventeenth Angel is probably going to be   
very dangerous."  
  
"You need not order me, sir. I _will_ protect Shinji-kun, no matter   
what."  
  
Ritsuko smiled and nodded. They came up to the door to the building.  
  
"Just remember that change doesn't always bring disaster," Ritsuko   
said, as they reached Misato's building. "Sometimes it can clear   
things up, and make you realize things you wouldn't have beforehand."  
  
Rei walked in through the door of the building. "Th...thank you, sir."  
  
"You're welcome, Rei." Ritsuko turned and walked back out into the   
street, folding up her umbrella as the rain finally stopped.  
  
Rei watched her go. "Words of thanks...again..." she said to herself.   
"It seems change _is_ unavoidable." For some reason, this made her   
smile. She turned to go back up to the apartment.  
  
She didn't go straight to the apartment, though. She still had to wait   
for Shinji's guest to leave. Hopefully, Ritsuko would be calling him   
out soon.  
  
After just a few minutes, she heard approaching footsteps. She hid   
herself and waited for the coast to clear.  
  
***  
  
Kaoru was leaving the apartment soon after Rei had entered the   
building.  
  
"Sorry you have to leave so quickly," Misato said.  
  
"It cannot be helped," Kaoru replied, still wearing a lopsided smile.   
"I suppose I should have expected further tests on my first day."  
  
"Don't let it get to you," Shinji said. "They can't keep testing you   
all the time."  
  
"I know, Shinji-kun. I'll see you tomorrow at NERV, then."  
  
"I'll be there."  
  
"Are you sure you don't need a ride, Nagisa-san?" Misato asked.  
  
Kaoru shook his head. "The rain has stopped," he calmly replied. "And   
I prefer to walk. It lets me better see this world."  
  
While Misato was still trying to figure that out, Kaoru turned and   
departed down the hallway. He still appeared relaxed, with both hands   
in his pockets. However, the smile on his face fell. He hadn't wanted   
to be called out so soon. And he'd been doing so well in getting to   
know Shinji, too.  
  
Well, an order was an order. He wondered what this test was about.   
Well, he had no trouble taking these tests. Synchronization with Unit-  
02 was child's play, for him.  
  
As he was about to go down the stairs to the street, his pace slowed   
and stopped. He slowly looked at the door of a closed maintenance   
closet.  
  
"You are not the same as I am," he said to the air. "But you used to   
be." He paused. "For your own safety, I suggest you don't get   
involved. I only warn you because...you are the reason I exist, aren't   
you?"  
  
No response came; he hadn't expected one. Smiling again - though this   
was more of a smirk - he walked down the stairs, and out into the   
street.  
  
Several minutes passed, and nothing moved in the hallway. Finally, the   
broom closet Kaoru had spoken to opened up. Rei stepped out, trying   
not to trip. Her mind was filled with questions. It had been   
frightening, how he'd known she was here. What was even more   
frightening was that now she knew for certain had happened to that core   
that had been removed from her body.  
  
^Well, I'm supposed to be dead,^ she thought. ^So I wouldn't need an S2 engine.^  
  
She was quite shaken. That boy's voice had been edged with steel.   
That had, no doubt, been the only warning he would give. He wouldn't   
hesistate to kill her, if he thought it would help him.  
  
Quivering a little, she made her down the hall. She considered running   
away, and putting as much distance between her and this city as she   
could. But no, she wouldn't do that; Shinji-kun needed her, even if he   
didn't know it.  
  
She made her way towards the apartment, trying not to let fear take her   
over. Twice, she looked over her shoulder to see if Kaoru was behind   
her. Breathing hard from the stress, she made it to the Katsuragi   
apartment and knocked on the door.  
  
The door opened quickly, revealing Misato on the other side. "Hi   
Rei," she said. "That was good timing. You just missed Nagisa-kun."  
  
Rei nodded, still a little shaky, and made her way inside.  
  
"Something wrong, Rei?" Misato asked. The girl shook her head in   
reply, not even bothering to slow down.  
  
She passed by Shinji's room, seeing that the boy was now lying on his   
bed, listening to his SDAT player, again. Satisfied that he was still   
safe, Rei went into the bathroom.  
  
She looked at herself in the mirror, and immediately wished she hadn't.   
The rain and humidity had destroyed the order she'd painstakingly put   
into her short blue hair. It was, once again, a tousled mop. Her   
clothes were also wet and dirty. All her effort to make herself look   
better had been for naught.  
  
Sighing quietly, she stepped out of the bathroom and headed for her   
room. Once she was through the door, she peeled off her dirty clothes   
and changed into the more regular clothes she wore around the   
apartment. ^Back to life as normal,^ she thought.  
  
As she picked up the mass of clothing she'd just taken off, the letter   
Ritsuko had given her fell out of a pocket. Rei noticed it and put the   
clothes down. She picked up the letter, looking at it. It was such a   
silly thing, really. But it was better than trying to talk; putting   
her feelings to paper had been easier than trying to say them out loud.   
She could put this under Shinji-kun's door, maybe...  
  
But then what? She wasn't sure. ^Maybe first I'll ask him about the   
Fifth Child,^ she thought. ^Yes, that makes sense.^   
  
Satisfied with this excuse, she put the letter into her dresser, and   
went about stuffing her dirty clothes into a laundry basket.  
  
She stopped before she was done, her hands freezing in the basket. She   
swallowed loudly, and her teeth clenched as a shiver ran through her   
body. Images flashed through her mind, as the feelings she'd been   
pushing away finally caught up with her.  
  
Her room. An Eva graveyard.  
  
^I grew up there...^  
  
The core of the Dummy Plug system.  
  
^I knew there was something odd about that room...^  
  
Red eyes. Hundreds of red eyes, all looking back at her.  
  
Rei backed off from the laundry basket, curling up on the floor into a   
fetal position. She shuddered, unable to get those images out of her   
mind.  
  
^I can never have children...^  
  
She saw an image of Shinji's face. Rei closed her eyes, and wept   
silently.   
  
***  
  
Misato was in her room, staring at her computer's screen. Data moved   
by slowly, jumping up each time she clicked the mouse to scroll   
downwards.  
  
Empty beer cans and instant food containers littered the desk, floor,   
and every other horizontal surface in the room. Misato had been   
sitting here for hours on end, studying the data on her screen.  
  
^Is this what NERV's really up to?^ she wondered, as she saw a plan   
outlined in front of her. ^SEELE...I thought this sort of thing was   
just in the government conspiracy movies. So they're behind   
everything...^  
  
She kept reading, knowing that the secret was there, somehow. Kaji had   
worked so hard to make sure she'd get this, and she wasn't going to let   
him down by just giving up.  
  
Unfortunately, her body had other ideas. Forced to remain awake day   
and night, she could feel her eyelids starting to droop. The   
information was definitely interesting, but one can only look at the   
same numbers so many times.  
  
She blacked out for a moment, waking up immediately as her head hit the   
desk. Misato reeled backwards, clutching her bruised forehead. "Son   
of a _bitch_..." she muttered to herself.  
  
She knew that she should sleep, but she didn't have time for that,   
right now. Instead, she got up and went to get another few beers from   
the refrigerator. She almost tripped over Pen-pen, who squaked at her   
irately before waddling back to his freezer. Misato sighed; she felt   
better, keeping Pen-pen around. She'd intended to give him to one of   
the evacuating families, but if Rei was staying here, then she could   
take care of him.  
  
Speaking of Rei...  
  
"Major Katsuragi?"  
  
Misato turned around. "Mmmmph?" she asked, her voice muffled by the   
package of instant ramen she was holding in her teeth.  
  
"Can I speak with you?"  
  
"Mmph, mst a mnfft." Translated, this was, "Sure, just a minute."  
  
Misato put down the two six-packs she'd been carrying, before setting   
the ramen down on the kitchen counter. After a moment's hesitation,   
she popped one of the beers open and took a long drink. Rei took that   
moment to speak.  
  
"What is it like to bear a child?"  
  
Misato choked on her beer, slamming the can down on the counter and   
coughing violently for a moment. ^Mental note: must stop drinking   
while Rei is in the room.^  
  
"Uh...why do you ask, Rei?" Misato questioned.  
  
Rei looked around hesitantly, unsure of what to say. Misato shrugged   
and led the girl to the living room, sitting Rei down on the couch   
while she took a seat in one of the easy chairs.  
  
"So...why the sudden interest?" Misato asked, again. She knew that she   
should be getting back to work, but it went against her personality to   
abandon someone, especially when they appeared as nervous as Rei did.  
  
"I...learned yesterday that I do not have the capacity to have   
children."  
  
Misato blinked. "Who told you that?" she asked, quietly.  
  
"Someone who I know was being honest," Rei replied. She didn't want to   
tell Misato straight out; Dr. Akagi had seemed very nervous yesterday.   
Rei doubted the doctor would appreciate her telling everyone what she   
had done.  
  
"Okay...well, it would be kind of pointless to tell you, but..."  
  
"I wish to know."  
  
"...yeah. Uh, to tell you the truth, I don't know, myself. The   
closest I've ever come to having kids is having Shinji and Asuka put   
under my care."  
  
"...oh."  
  
Misato cocked her head. "Is something wrong, Rei?" she asked.  
  
Rei was quiet for the next several moments. It looked like she kept   
trying to say something, but every time, the words would die in her   
mouth. Finally:  
  
"I keep getting...interesting reactions to Shinji-kun."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I feel happier when he's around. I want to smile more often, even if   
I still don't understand why. Sometimes I feel my cheeks getting hot.   
I try to make him feel better when he's sad, even though I'm not very   
good at it. I...I don't know what to make of it."  
  
Misato quirked an eyebrow, and decided to chance a small sip of beer.   
Rei didn't say anything, this time, so she managed to swallow without   
incident. After she put the can down, she looked back at the girl.  
  
"Judging from your tone, I'd say you have _some_ idea of what to make   
of it, Rei."  
  
Rei turned away, doing her best to hide her embarassment. "I'm afraid   
of what it could mean."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because...I don't know what Shinji-kun will think. And I know that   
most people prefer to have children..."  
  
"Whoa, slow down," Misato said, holding up one hand. "Rei, you're   
getting _way_ ahead of yourself. The issue of children isn't   
important, right now. For now, just admit to yourself that you like   
Shinji."  
  
Rei turned away again, her cheeks going red. "I...don't know if   
'like' is a strong enough word for it, Katsuragi-san. I c-can't really   
explain it..."  
  
Misato quirked an eyebrow again. "Well...ah...we'll see about that   
later, I guess. But for now, why don't you just try talking to   
Shinji?"  
  
Rei swallowed. "But I _have_ tried. He seems to enjoy talking with   
me, but he has so many other concerns, as well. He is worried about   
the Second Child, and he is spending...much time with the Fifth Child,   
as well."  
  
Misato couldn't hold back a smile. "You want him all to yourself,   
then?"  
  
Rei blinked several times. "I...perhaps I do..."  
  
"That's normal, too."  
  
"It is? I - "  
  
She was cut off as the door to the apartment opened. Shinji walked in.  
  
"How're things, Shinji-kun?" Misato asked, turning around to face him.  
  
"They're good, actually," Shinji said, going into the kitchen and   
getting a drink of water. "Kaoru just showed me this great park not   
far off. I didn't even know it was there, before."  
  
"Oh, that's good," Misato said, while turning back to face Rei. "Now's   
your chance," she whispered to the girl. "Just talk to him. Heck,   
tell him you like him."  
  
Rei's eyes widened. ^T...tell him? But I can't...^  
  
Her train of thought stopped as Shinji walked in. She immediately   
avoided eye contact.  
  
"So what're you up to now?" Misato asked.  
  
"I don't know. Odds are I'll get called out to another test today,   
but...I'm open, right now."  
  
"Oh. Well, you could keep Rei company..."  
  
"It's all right, Katsuragi-san," Rei said, getting up and heading off   
to her room.  
  
"Is something wrong, Rei?" Shinji asked. "Your face is all red."  
  
"It's nothing," Rei said, a little too quickly. She looked down to   
hide her deepening blush, as she sped down the hallway, trying not to   
break into a run.  
  
^And I thought _Shinji_ had problems with relationships,^ Misato   
thought. ^Oh, well. I guess Rei just needs time.^  
  
"Well...I guess I'll just go practice the cello, then," Shinji said,   
turning and heading back to his room.  
  
"All right, Shinji-kun," Misato replied. "I'll tell you if Ritsu wants   
you for another test."  
  
***  
  
Days later, Ritsuko, Misato, and the three pilots were standing in   
front of an Eva storage bay.  
  
Ritsuko looked bored, waiting for someone to say something.  
  
Misato looked confused.  
  
Kaoru looked intrigued.  
  
Rei III was stone-faced (as though _that's_ a surprise).  
  
Shinji looked like he was going to be sick.  
  
In front of them was an Eva...sort of. Currently, workers were   
scrambling all over, putting the pieces back together. Black, armored   
body parts were floating in the shock-resistant fluid the Evas rested   
in. Eventually, they would reform the ill-fated Unit-03.  
  
"You...you're _rebuilding_ it?" Misato said.  
  
"That's quite obvious, isn't it, Misato?" Ritsuko replied, not even   
bothering to look up from the paper she was reading.  
  
"But...why?"  
  
Ritsuko looked up. "Well, we currently have three pilots, four if   
Asuka ever wakes up, and only two working Evas. We'll need to be   
somewhere _close_ to full strength if this last Angel is going to be   
anything like the last few."  
  
Rei III nodded in agreement with this logic, but said nothing.  
  
"I thought Unit-03 was destroyed," Kaoru said. "Quite thoroughly so."  
  
Shinji backed off, going pale. "I'll go wait in the testing room," he   
said. He turned and walked away, trying hard not to look at Unit-03.  
  
With a puzzled, worried look on his face, Kaoru watched Shinji go.   
Ritsuko continued, as though nothing had happened.  
  
"Yes, it was. It turned out the Thirteenth Angel was a nanomachine-  
based one. It infested this Eva and subdued the pilot. It crippled   
two of our Evas before being stopped by the first combat operation of   
the Dummy Plug System." Ritsuko paused, thinking. "The normal damage   
threshold for Evas had been surpassed," she said, after a moment. "It   
should have been impossible to repair, but we'd gotten lucky. It   
turned out the Angel had constructed an S2 organ inside Unit-03."  
  
"Well, it _did_ move without power..." Misato mumbled.  
  
"And so it's possible for Unit-03 to regenerate, just like the Angels   
can," Ritsuko finished.  
  
Kaoru crossed his arms behind his back and looked back at the Eva.   
"Interesting," he and Rei said at the same time. Kaoru looked at Rei,   
grinning a little. Rei did not mirror the move.  
  
"The regeneration process should be quicker than this, correct?" Rei   
asked, not turning her head.  
  
Ritsuko nodded slightly. "We're playing it safe," she said. "We're   
stimulating the S2, but to less than one percent of its full capacity.   
If we had it at a hundred percent, Unit-03 would be rebuilt in minutes,   
but..."  
  
"You're afraid it might go berserk again," Misato finished for her.  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Who will pilot this Eva, then?" Kaoru asked, nonchalantly.  
  
"It depends on whether or Asuka comes to. If she stays gone, then   
we'll keep Unit-03 around as backup. If we get lucky and she wakes up,   
she'll probably go back to using Unit-02, supposing she can synch with   
it. Which means either you or Rei would get this one, Nagisa."  
  
Kaoru nodded. "It makes sense," he said.  
  
"Don't get too excited," Ritsuko said. "We've got to run every cell of   
this thing through a battery of tests, to make sure the Angel in it   
stays dead. And we have to finish rearming it."  
  
"Of course," Kaoru replied.  
  
"Rearming it?" Misato asked. "Ritsu-chan, I hope you're not making a   
pun."  
  
"Definitely not. We're outfitting Unit-03 with a new Progressive claw,   
in lieu of the standard knife."  
  
"Huh?" Misato asked, confused.  
  
"Imagine five Progressive knives, one for each finger of its right   
hand," Ritsuko replied, flexing her own right hand. "Given Unit-  
03's...other abilities, it should be able to use that claw to grapple   
on to an attacker while maintaining its distance."  
  
"It can still do that stretch thing, huh?" Misato asked, looking back   
to the huge, partially-repaired biohumanoid.  
  
"We think so. The Angel is thoroughly merged with the Eva we can't get   
rid of it. And _it_ could use nanomachines to warp Unit-03's body, so   
we should be able to, as well. Only this time to fight the Angels   
instead of us."  
  
"Great," Misato said, skeptically. She put her hands on her hips,   
looking at the still-shattered face of Unit-03. "So I'm the commander   
of three Evas again, huh?"  
  
"Two Evas and three eighths of another one," Ritsuko replied, straight-  
faced.  
  
Misato smiled, but said nothing. "Well, okay," she said after a   
moment. "Time to get back to work. Kaoru, you get back in the   
simulator. Rei, you're with me. Shinji...where'd he go?"  
  
"He left earlier," Rei replied, evenly.  
  
"Oh...uh...well, c'mon, Nagisa-kun. We've got to see how well you and   
Shinji-kun can fight in tandem."   
  
"I'm sure Shinji-kun and I will work fine together," Kaoru said,   
already heading for the simulator.  
  
"We'll see."  
  
***  
  
"So how's life at home, Rei?" Misato asked, as she changed out of her   
work clothes.  
  
"It is normal," Rei's voice came back from the kitchen. "What do I put   
on the ramen next, Katsuragi-san?"  
  
"I don't know," Misato answered. "I usually just say enough curry will   
make anything edible."  
  
"Shinji-kun and your penguin do not agree."  
  
Misato muttered to herself about how it was the best she could do. She   
finished changing into her around-the-house clothes and came out of her   
room. "Well, I'll see what I can find," she said. "It's nice of you   
to try making dinner, Rei."  
  
"I am doing my part. Shinji-kun says that the household tasks were   
divided among you, him, and Sohryuu."  
  
Misato shrugged as she walked into the kitchen. "Yeah, but if you   
twist his arm enough, he'll do your share, too," she replied, jokingly.   
Rei looked at her, not understanding, before going back to the noodles,   
which were boiling nicely.  
  
"So...how's it going with Shinji?" Misato asked, as she got a beer.   
"Have you tried talking to him?"  
  
"I...try," Rei said. "But it's difficult. And he still spends much of   
his time with the Fifth Child."  
  
"Yeah, but he still comes back here," Misato said, looking over the   
girl's shoulder at the noodles. "I get the feeling he's almost afraid   
of me. But he keeps coming back home. He's got to have some reason   
for that," Misato finished, throwing a suggestive glance at Rei, who   
tried not to notice.  
  
"Aaaanyway," Misato continued, checking on the status of the noodles   
again, "I'll go see if Asuka left anything behind. I think she had   
some recipie for noodles."  
  
Rei didn't respond. She was busy feeding one of the noodles to Pen-  
pen. The penguin was suspicious at first, but eventually gulped it   
down, happy to be getting _real_ food for once.  
  
"Traitor," Misato muttered to herself, watching the bird. She stepped   
out of the kitchen and went into Rei's room.  
  
"Now, where would Asuka put anything about food?" Misato asked herself,   
looking around.   
  
Rei's presence was barely noticeable; the girl didn't even make her bed   
in the morning, and she hadn't thought to change any of the room's   
decor. The only thing other than the bed which showed any signs of use   
was the dresser, where Misato guessed Rei was storing her diminutive   
wardrobe.  
  
"Maybe she left something in here," Misato wondered aloud, going   
through the dresser. Nothing on the bottom drawer...or the next   
drawer...or the next...  
  
She kept going, finding nothing but a few drawers with clothes in them   
and the rest empty. She glanced into the top drawer, not really   
expecting to see anything. As she'd guessed, it was empty...mostly   
empty, anyway.  
  
Misato looked again, noticing the envelope sitting inside. Interested,   
she took it out and glanced through its contents. Her eyes widened.  
  
^Rei...when did you write this? Clever, though...you don't talk much,   
so you write it out, instead...^  
  
Most people would have politely stopped reading and put it back. But   
Misato saw this as an opportunity. Grinning like the cat that had   
caught the mouse, she brought the letter back to her own room. She'd   
be able to read it in its entirety later on.   
  
Then, she went back to the kitchen, holding up her hands and saying   
that there was nothing on how to make noodles.  
  
***  
  
Days passed, one after the other. Shinji could barely distinguish   
between them. It had been weeks since they'd found Asuka, and there   
had still been no improvement in her condition. Shinji was just now   
coming back from one of his infrequent visits to her hospital room.   
The image of her on the hospital bed was still fresh in his mind.  
  
It had happened again. Another person he'd known had been taken away.   
Just like speaking with Touji after Unit-03 had been destroyed, or   
saying goodbye to everyone as they were evacauted from Tokyo-3 after   
Unit-00's destruction. Eva was, once again, destroying his life.  
  
He was in the Katsuragi apartment, leaning back on the couch with his   
eyes closed. He was wearing his headphones, listening to, ironically,   
"Ode to Joy." He'd picked it up after listening to Kaoru hum it long   
enough. It wasn't helping this time, though. He couldn't make himself   
happier just by listening to music.  
  
Kaoru. He'd been a big help in these past few days. Shinji was   
starting to run seriously short of friends. But Kaoru was here. He   
always seemed to understand how Shinji was feeling. And he would   
always listen, as Shinji poured out his heart. He didn't seem to mind   
being used as a sounding board. Every time, Shinji would tell Kaoru   
about what was bothering him, and every time, the boy would come up   
with something to say that made Shinji feel better.  
  
Not to say Kaoru was without flaws. There was something odd about him;   
he was a little too relaxed, a little too confident for a fifteen-year-  
old mecha pilot. And there was that time in the baths, too...but   
Shinji couldn't afford to be picky at this time. He'd take what   
friends he could find.  
  
Misato was out, like usual these days. She was working heavy overtime   
at NERV, trying to get prepared for the inevitable attack of the   
Seventeenth Angel. Shinji and Kaoru had also been pressed into extra   
training. Several nights of the last week, Shinji had been tempted to   
just stay at NERV and sleep on the floor. Tonight he'd lucked out,   
though. Misato had apparently won out over Ritsuko, and he'd ended up   
with some time off. But despite the temporary freedom, Shinji was   
happy just sitting here. He was too tired to do much else.  
  
Yet despite his fatigue, Shinji had come back to this apartment   
whenever he could. He hated leaving Rei alone in the apartment, with   
no company except for a few books. She often came to talk with him,   
even if it was just small talk about how their days had gone. It was   
kind of nice, having something to come home to.  
  
Another thing he could clearly remember was what Rei had said when   
she'd first come here: "I've never known what it's like to be lonely,   
Ikari-ku...Shinji-kun. But I know that's what I'm feeling now."  
  
Shinji, a veteran at what it was like to be alone with your thoughts,   
knew it was not right to let her feel that way, when he could help.  
  
There was also what she'd done _after_ she'd said that. Shinji   
absentmindedly brushed his lips where, for a moment, she'd kissed him.   
It hadn't been his first kiss, but it had definitely been better than   
the one Asuka had given him. At least he'd been able to breathe.  
  
He didn't know what to make of Rei. Yes, she'd kissed him, but it had   
stopped there. Maybe she'd just been looking for support. Well, he   
would try his best to give that. Shinji would be glad just having her   
for a friend, so long as she stayed alive.   
  
^And what if there's the chance for something more?^ he asked himself.   
^Then what?^ He shook his head. ^No, I shouldn't try, not yet. I've   
got enough problems with losing friends. I don't know if I could   
handle losing...something more.^  
  
^But you know you like her,^ a voice in his head replied. ^You're   
running from your own feelings, if you try to deny them.^ Shinji did   
his best to ignore those thoughts. He tried to focus solely on the   
present situation.  
  
He didn't know where Rei was, now. Probably in her room reading; she   
did a lot of that. He wondered if she'd want dinner sometime soon. Or   
maybe he could go talk to her again. His conversations with her were   
usually quite pleasant, and relaxing.  
  
He got up and headed for the refrigerator. Instant food sounded good,   
at the moment. Shinji didn't feel like going to all the trouble of   
fixing a dinner, and he got the feeling Rei didn't really care what she   
ate, so long as it wasn't meat.  
  
He opened the refrigerator door and looked inside. He was faced with a   
near-empty set of shelves. They were even running short of beer; there   
wasn't anywhere to buy more.   
  
But he couldn't get thoughts of Rei out of his head. ^If there's the   
chance for love, I should take it. I might not get another one.   
But...no, it's not worth the risk. I can survive, just the way I am.^   
Sighing, Shinji turned his head to the side and leaned it against the   
wall. ^It'd take a miracle for me to get up the courage to try getting   
closer to Rei.^  
  
Miracles happen.  
  
In leaning his head against the wall, he saw something taped to the   
inside of the refrigerator door. Blinking to clear his eyes, he looked   
again. It looked like an envelope. On it, in Misato's unmistakable   
handwriting, was "To Shinji", surrounded by little hearts.  
  
^No harm in checking it, if it's to me.^ He pulled it off of the door   
and closed the refrigerator, his appetite forgotten. He sat back down   
on the couch and opened it.  
  
Inside was another envelope. Only this one was noticeably older, with   
many creases and stains from water droplets. It was otherwise   
unmarked.  
  
^Well, it was inside an envelope addressed to me^, Shinji thought,   
opening it. Inside was a letter, just as worn as the second envelope.   
He unfolded it and started reading. After several lines, his brow   
furrowed. He leaned back on the couch and kept reading.  
  
[Author's note : the letter can be found in the Prologue.]  
  
By the time he'd finished, he was blown out of his mind. When had Rei   
written this? She had _known_ she was going to die? But, what she'd   
said about her feelings surprised him the most. Shinji soon found he   
was reading the letter again. He was reading it for a third time when   
he heard a truly bizarre noise.  
  
Unable to believe his ears, a progressively more confused Shinji   
started down the hallway to Rei's room, where the sound was coming   
from. As quietly as he could, he slid the door open a crack.  
  
Inside, he saw Rei sitting on the bed and reading, just as he'd   
guessed. It looked like she was reading one of Misato's manga. He   
also saw the source of the strange noise:   
  
Rei was laughing.  
  
Shinji's mouth fell open. He couldn't believe his ears. But, there   
she was, in front of his eyes, actually _laughing_. He was so shocked,   
that he didn't move when Rei noticed him watching her.  
  
Rei looked equally surprised, when she saw him. She clamped one hand   
over her mouth, as though ashamed. She also slipped the manga under   
her pillow and got off of the bed.  
  
"H...hello, Shinji-kun," Rei said, coming up to the door. As she   
approached, Shinji snapped out of the shock and backed away, embarassed   
at being caught.  
  
Rei slid the door open and watched him from the doorway. Shinji's eyes   
met hers, and he suddenly found his voice had left him. ^What's wrong   
with me?^ he thought. ^They're just eyes.^ So why was he losing   
himself in them, if they were just eyes?  
  
"Is something the matter?" Rei asked, her same soft voice, but with   
more inflection than she used to use.  
  
"Uh..." Shinji said. Out of sheer luck, he managed to remember the   
thing that had started all this. "I f-found this letter t-taped to the   
refrigerator..." he said, pointing back the way he'd come.   
"And...uh..."  
  
Rei blinked once, turned around, and went over to her dresser, leaving   
Shinji at the door. She opened up the first drawer and looked inside.   
There, right where her letter should be, was a small piece of note   
paper, the words done in Misato's handwriting. It said, simply, "Nice   
letter. I did you a favor. Thank me later."  
  
Rei's eyes widened. "She wouldn't..." she said to herself. Then she   
looked back to Shinji, who was still at the door. The way he was   
looking at her - of seeing something he'd never seen before - spoke   
volumes. She knew exactly what Shinji had just read; she'd committed   
it to memory during the long days alone in the apartment.  
  
Shinji gulped.  
  
Rei acted quickly. Without a word, she went up to the door, and slid   
it shut. Fast.  
  
She was nearly hyperventilating on her side, holding the door shut for   
all she was worth, in case he tried to open it. "I'm sorry," she said,   
trying to keep the fear and nervousness out of her voice. "I never   
meant for you to find that." She paused, thinking. _Had_ she never   
meant for him to find it?  
  
Shinji was speechless. They sat in silence for several tense minutes,   
before Shinji finally found the words - and the guts - to speak.  
  
"Were you being serious, Rei?"  
  
Rei, who by then had managed to start breathing normally, swallowed.   
"I..." she swallowed again and took a breath. "...I saw no reason to   
lie." There, she'd said it. Rei closed her eyes, waiting to hear what   
would come next.  
  
"I...I don't know what to say," Shinji finally replied.  
  
"Try," Rei said, before she could stop herself. She again put one hand   
over her mouth. Where had _that_ come from?  
  
"Well..." Shinji said, thinking. He turned around and leaned back   
against the door, sliding down it to sit on the floor. On the other   
side, Rei relaxed her grip on the door. It didn't look like he'd force   
an entry if she didn't want it.  
  
For lack of something better to say, Shinji just started voicing his   
thoughts. "Well, you've always been the strange girl," he began. Rei   
sat down on the floor and leaned back against the door, as well.  
  
"From day one, I never really knew what to think of you," Shinji   
continued. "I couldn't understand _why_ you'd want to pilot an Eva,   
not when you were that hurt. You could barely even sit up, but you   
were still going to do it. And after that, I kept seeing you in halls   
and at school, but I never said anything to you, because I didn't know   
how to approach you. You looked like you preferred being alone.  
  
"And you kept getting me more confused. Around my father, you almost   
looked normal. But then, when I asked you why you did this, you said   
it was because it was all you had. And when you said that, all I could   
think was, 'what a strange girl.'"  
  
Rei could feel her throat closing up. This was it. He was rejecting   
her. He was saying how she wasn't his type, or some other classic male   
line. She could feel her eyes going moist. Why should it hurt so   
much? Hadn't he just been a friend? ^Even _you_ don't believe that,^   
Rei heard her conscience say. She rested her forehead on her knees,   
unable to disagree.   
  
Outside, Shinji kept talking. He'd found he couldn't stop, now that   
he'd started.  
  
"But underneath it all, I could see something worth saving. I can't   
describe it, even now. I couldn't help thinking that maybe, just   
maybe, somewhere in there was a normal girl. Which I guess is why I   
tried to be your friend. Because I'd been there. I knew what it was   
like to be alone, and I couldn't just watch someone else living that   
way. I know you didn't ask for my help, but...I don't know, I didn't   
want to ignore it. That'd be running away again."  
  
Rei could feel the tears about to fall. So he'd really wanted to be a   
friend. But just a friend. Now, he probably wouldn't even want to be   
that, knowing what she felt. She wanted to be anywhere, anywhere but   
here.  
  
"The first time you almost died, I panicked. I honestly don't even   
remember getting out of the Eva. All I could think of was getting you   
out, even though it hurt so badly to do so. And...the second time..."  
  
He paused. Rei, meanwhile, had looked up, wiping at her eyes. She   
felt her stomach doing acrobatics inside her.   
  
"That second time, when you self-destructed your Eva, I couldn't   
believe it. I was just...too shocked to even think. I guess I felt   
sad, but I didn't have any tears. I tried to talk to Misato-san about   
it, but she didn't help." He swallowed. This next part was going to   
be tough, but he felt that he _had_ to say it.  
  
"And then...it...it hit me. That you were gone. That I'd never see   
you looking out that damn window at school any more. That you'd never   
be standing in the elevator when I got on. That I'd...never be able to   
see you smile again. And I cried. I went to my room, and I cried my   
eyes out. I just...couldn't believe it. I think I knew it then, that   
you'd been more than a friend to me, even if I hadn't known it before."  
  
Rei quietly got to her feet, and slowly turned to face the door.  
  
"That made me cry more," Shinji continued. "And then...I'd heard you   
survived. I...I really felt my heart skip a few beats. I remember I   
ran up three dozen flights of stairs because the elevator was too   
slow." He laughed a little. "Misato-san could barely breathe by the   
time she'd caught up to me. And then...the person I saw...she wasn't   
_you_. I - "  
  
He was cut off as the door opened. He leaned forward as he felt the   
door panel move behind him. He was on his feet quickly, in time to see   
Rei finish opening the door.  
  
Rei was looking at her feet, saying nothing. Shinji waited.  
  
"You'd better be telling the truth, Shinji," Rei mumbled, after several   
quiet moments had passed. Shinji noticed that for once, she'd dropped   
the "-kun".  
  
Shinji quietly moved up to her. Tenderly, he touched her chin and   
lifted her face up, so she was looking at him. He noticed her eyes   
were wet.  
  
"I wouldn't lie about it," he said. "I just didn't want to take the   
risk, anymore, because my friends kept getting hurt. And I never knew   
how you felt, either. I...guess I should've said this a while ago."  
  
Rei silently stepped forwards, leaning against Shinji, but letting her   
arms hang at her sides. "I should..." - she swallowed to clear her   
throat - "I should have told you how I felt, too."  
  
Shinji's arms found their way around Rei. He held her against him,   
feeling the tears finally leaving the girl's eyes and soak his shirt.   
They stood that way for a long time.  
  
"C'mon," he said, once Rei had calmed down. He tried to sound   
soothing. He led her to the living room, where they sat down on the   
couch. Shinji kept one arm around her. Rei leaned against him,   
putting both her arms around his waist.  
  
"That's the first time I've heard you laugh, Rei," Shinji said after a   
while.  
  
"It was the first time I'd ever laughed."  
  
Either consciously or unconsciously, Shinji held her a little closer.   
"We've had rough lives, huh? I wonder where we'd be right now, if Eva   
had never been made."  
  
"..."  
  
"Rei?"  
  
"Let's not talk about that right now, Shinji. What did you think, when   
you heard me laugh?"  
  
"I didn't know what to think. I'd never heard the sound of you   
laughing before. But...I think it was kind of nice."  
  
Rei smiled and held him closer. "I was also surprised. But...it is   
good to know I can feel happy, too."  
  
"Hm," Shinji said in agreement. "Rei?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"When did this happen?" he asked. He lightly caressed her cheek with   
the back of his free hand. "When do you think you...fell for me?" ^It   
feels so strange to say that,^ he thought to himself.  
  
"I don't know for certain," Rei said, quietly. She reached up and held   
his hand with one of hers. "Does it really matter, though?"  
  
"I...guess not."  
  
Shinji rested his head on top of hers, and they stayed there, each   
secure in the others' presence.  
  
"So what do we do now?" Shinji asked.  
  
"...there's something I'd like to do."  
  
"What?"  
  
Rei pulled back a little, and looked up, into his eyes. Shinji only   
had to take one look at her face before he understood.  
  
He said nothing. He just leaned down, closing his eyes as Rei closed   
hers. They turned their heads a little, just before their lips met.  
  
Rei's emotions were a blur inside of her. Her thoughts were scrambled,   
and her steadfast logic was nowhere to be found. All she knew at the   
moment was that she liked this. A lot.  
  
She hesitantly opened her mouth, feeling Shinji do likewise. She could   
_taste_ him. She made the kiss even deeper, raising both her hands up   
to hold his face.  
  
After an eternity, she pulled away, breathing hard. She opened her   
eyes and looked at Shinji.  
  
Shinji's eyes were still closed. The fatigue had finally caught up   
with him and, in the last moments, he'd fallen asleep.  
  
Rei sighed as she heard him snore. "We can finish later," she said,   
running her hand through his hair. "One more Angel, and then...we'll   
have all the time we need." She put both arms back around him and   
rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.   
  
^I suppose I should thank the Major. Perhaps later.^  
  
Listening to the lull of Shinji's breathing, Rei soon fell asleep, as   
well.  
  
***  
  
Rei woke up as she heard the door unlock. She moaned and tightened her   
grip on Shinji, not wanting to move right now. She cracked her eyes   
open when she heard footsteps stop in front of the couch.  
  
Her breath caught.  
  
Kaoru Nagisa stood there. He wasn't looking at her. Instead, he was   
lightly touching Shinji's face, his head cocked to one side in   
interest. He turned his attention to Rei almost immediately, though.  
  
"I warned you not to get involved," he said. He grabbed her roughly   
around the shoulders and, with strength his thin body shouldn't have   
been able to possess, pulled her off the couch and threw her across the   
room.  
  
Rei hit the ground hard, now quite awake. She cried out in pain.   
Kaoru made it over to her before she could try standing up. He grabbed   
her armpits and lifted her up off her feet, pressing her against the   
wall. Rei felt her breath being pushed out of her.  
  
"You should have stayed away from him," Kaoru said, his voice   
frighteningly calm. "Shinji is _mine_."  
  
"Shinji!" Rei called out. "Shinji, help!"  
  
"He can't hear you," Kaoru said. "I made sure he's staying asleep."  
  
"W...why are you doing this?" Rei asked.  
  
"Just living up to a promise. I warned you to keep your distance, so   
it wouldn't have to come to this," he said, putting one hand over her   
throat. He began to squeeze.  
  
Rei thought fast, trying to figure out what to say. She fought down   
the panic that was rising in her gut, along with an inexplicable   
feeling of deja vu. She forced herself to think clearly.  
  
"And...what will you do next?" she choked out. "After you...kill me,   
then what?"  
  
"Then I will just wait for my final order," Kaoru said in a low voice.   
"And then all will be one. So I'm not really killing you, Ayanami.   
You'll be reunified with everyone else after I merge with Adam."  
  
"And...what about...Shinji?" she asked, using the last breath in her   
lungs.  
  
Kaoru remained silent. Rei felt her vision going dim and her brain   
hazing over. ^If only I could still make an AT field,^ she thought.   
^Shinji, I'm sorry. I couldn't protect you.^  
  
Then, the pressure on her throat lessened. Rei inhaled deeply, feeling   
her mind clear again. Spots appeared in front of her eyes as oxygen   
got back to her brain.  
  
"I will make this clear before I silence you," Kaoru said, not   
releasing her. "I will not let anything harm Shinji-kun."  
  
Rei gasped for breath, unable to say anything in response.  
  
"And Third Impact will evolve him to a higher form. He will be better   
off for my work."  
  
"How...do you know that?" Rei said, fighting the urge to try fighting   
Kaoru. There was no doubt who would win that fight. "If Third Impact   
is so desirable, then why is Shinji fighting the Angels?"  
  
Kaoru paused. Rei felt hope ebbing into her; maybe she could get out   
of this with her neck intact.  
  
"Shinji-kun has just been misled," the boy said, pushing Rei harder   
into the wall. "I will show him the right way."  
  
"N...Nagisa-san," Rei said, choosing her words carefully. "How do you   
feel about Shinji?"  
  
"I love him," Kaoru replied, unhesitatingly.  
  
Rei nodded. "And, if that's how you feel...why do you want to do   
something against his wishes? You know he will fight you."  
  
"I...I want to keep him from being harmed," Kaoru said, his arms   
relaxing as he thought. "I can feel the loneliness in him, and it's   
eating me up inside. If I cause Third Impact, then the AT fields that   
keep his heart from others will go down. People won't push him away or   
hate him, any longer. He will be _happy_."  
  
Rei took a breath. She wanted to run. She wanted an Eva to come and   
flatten this boy. But neither were options right now. She had to   
talk, something she'd never been very good at.  
  
"You...are a coward, Nagisa-san," Rei said, quietly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Instead of working with the world as it is, you would destroy it and   
start anew?"  
  
Kaoru said nothing.  
  
"Humans enjoy their individuality," Rei said. "They prefer to know   
themselves, even if it means loneliness."  
  
"And how would you know?" Kaoru shot back. "How do _you_ of all people   
know what it means to be human?"  
  
Rei's brain worked overtime. "I may have been part Angel," she said,   
"but I still had eyes and ears. I could see how others thought and   
acted. As much as humans enjoy being with others, they prefer to be   
individuals." She stopped after this, having run out of things to say.   
She could feel her heart hammering in her chest, and she nearly shook   
with fear of the boy in front of her.  
  
"I...have no choice," Kaoru said, after a long silence.  
  
Rei took the opportunity. "Nagisa-san...you know what you are. The   
last Angel is the Angel of free will. You always have the choice."  
  
Kaoru backed off from her, as though Rei had suddenly become very   
frightening to him. "I..." he tried to say. But he just shook his   
head and headed for the door. He gestured at the couch as he left the   
apartment. By the time the door had closed, Shinji was stirring. He   
sat up in time to see Rei slide down the wall and sit down on the   
floor, shaking.  
  
"Rei?" he mumbled. "Rei, what's wrong?" He got up and crossed over to   
her, kneeling down next to her. He took one of her hands in both of   
his. "You feel cold."  
  
"I...the Seventeenth...he was here...Shinji," Rei got out, before   
shifting her weight and throwing her arms around his shoulders.  
  
"What? Rei, you're not making any sense."  
  
Rei looked up at him. Shinji was looking back, his eyes concerned and   
a little afraid. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him who   
had been here, and what had happened. She opened her mouth to say it,   
but no words came out. She couldn't speak. And she knew why;   
supposing Shinji even _believed_ his best friend was an Angel, then he   
would be hurt by the news. Badly. And Rei couldn't bring herself to   
hurt Shinji. She was supposed to be _protecting_ him.  
  
"I...had a bad dream, Shinji-ku...Shinji. I was scared."  
  
"Well...I know what it's like to have that happen. It's over now,   
Rei," Shinji said, hugging her. "Do you want to tell me about it?"  
  
Rei shook her head. "I just want to go back to sleep."  
  
Shinji nodded and helped her to her feet. "Come on," he said, going   
back towards the couch. Rei instead led him the other way, down the   
hallway and towards the bedrooms.  
  
"Uh...Rei? Where are you going?"  
  
"I just want to sleep, nothing more," Rei said. "But I want you to be   
there. I might have another bad dream."  
  
"Oh," Shinji replied, breathing a sigh of relief. "Okay. I can do   
that much, Rei."  
  
She took him to his bedroom, and lay down on his bed, drawing him down   
with her.  
  
"Looks like...you don't mind staying here at all," Shinji commented,   
remembering what Rei had said earlier about her sleeping arrangements.  
  
Rei smiled and put her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer.   
"Good night, Shinji," she said, closing her eyes.  
  
"Good night...Rei."  
  
Shinji listened to her breathing for a while. It soon became even and   
regular. Pulling back a little, he watched her sleeping face. She   
looked so peaceful and calm. Not an icy calm, but a contented one. He   
could see that she was smiling, slightly. He traced the curve of her   
lips with his finger, just to make sure he wasn't imagining things.  
  
He ran his hand through her hair. It was tangled and knotted, but   
surprisingly soft. His hand went down to her face, feeling the smooth   
skin. Smooth and warm. Rei felt...nice. To be holding her here, even   
if it was just to sleep, made him feel happier than he'd been in a long   
while.  
  
Shinji closed his eyes, pulling Rei a little closer and feeling her   
unconsciously snuggle up to him. He was asleep in a few moments.  
  
The rest of the night passed without incident.  
  
***  
  
Several days later, Shinji was sitting in an observation room, watching   
Eva-02 through some thick glass. But Kaoru was not there. He was down   
by the Eva bays.  
  
Asuka was in Unit-02.  
  
"It's really amazing how quickly she came out of her coma," Maya said.   
"Right, sempai?"  
  
Ritsuko, nearby, nodded.  
  
"They weren't even expecting her to wake up," Misato chimed in. "But   
Nagisa-san goes and visits her, and bingo. I wish I'd seen the   
doctor's face, when he walked in yesterday and saw her up and about,   
like nothing had happened."  
  
Maya giggled a little. "So she can't remember what happened?"  
  
"Not a thing," Misato replied. "She remembers lying down in that bed,   
and then her mind's a blank."  
  
The banter continued, talking about other things. Shinji, watching   
Unit-02, had an intense look on his face. He'd been overjoyed to hear   
Asuka had woken up, against the odds. It had been a little sudden, but   
he was not one to complain. Now, though, he was just hoping she could   
work the Eva. He didn't want her to wake up, just in time to get   
depressed again.  
  
^Come on, Asuka,^ he thought. ^Come on. Do it.^  
  
"Test commencing," Makoto said, reading data off of his screen.   
"Primary interlocks engaged. Simulation online. Critical point   
reached and passed."  
  
The sound of the Eva's powerful engine filled the room.  
  
"Eva active," Shigeru read. "Synchronization..."  
  
Everyone held their breath.  
  
"Synchronization...eleven point eight-four percent."  
  
Everyone sighed loudly.   
  
"Well, I wasn't expecting much," Ritsuko said. "That's barely even   
enough to start the engine," she whispered to Misato. "Nothing else."  
  
Depression seemed to fill the room, as the test continued. People   
tried to ignore Asuka's voice coming through the radio, saying that the   
Eva wouldn't move.  
  
***  
  
While the tests on Asuka continued, Kaoru stood in front of Eva Unit-  
01, looking at its "face."  
  
"The one Eva not made from the same tissue as I am..." he said,   
quietly. "Born from Lillith instead of Adam. How many Angels have you   
killed?" he asked the machine. "How many times have you broken the   
rules, so that you could protect your pilot?"  
  
Unit-01 didn't venture an answer.   
  
Kaoru continued staring at the mecha, thinking. He'd released Asuka   
from that coma. But why? Because he'd felt...guilty? He wasn't   
supposed to feel guilty. And by releasing her, didn't that make his   
job harder? He could feel Adam calling to him, deep below the ground.   
Now, when he answered that call, he'd have _two_ pilots against him   
instead of one.  
  
But...listening to what Rei had said a few nights ago had made him   
start thinking. And he hadn't stopped thinking since. Did he have the   
choice? Did he even have the _right_ to choose?  
  
He was still standing there when his cell phone rang, five minutes   
later. He let it ring for a while, until he could no longer ignore it.   
He knew what this call would be about. Turning away from Unit-01, he   
pulled the cell phone out, and looked at the display.  
  
No name was shown to identify who was calling. There wasn't even a   
phone number shown. As strange as it seemed, this total anonymity made   
it very clear to Kaoru who was calling. He knew that on the other side   
would be a scrambled voice, ready to give that one last order.  
  
"Damn me," he whispered. "Damn me to hell."  
  
He kept staring at the phone, which kept ringing. He wanted it to go   
silent. But he knew it wouldn't. The person on the other end would   
wait, because they knew he would have his phone at all times. Kaoru   
closed his eyes.  
  
He made his choice.  
  
Turning quickly, he threw the phone at Eva Unit-01. The small device   
arced gracefully through the air, still ringing, before it shattered on   
the solid purple armor, stopping mid-ring.  
  
"Damn me," he said again, falling to his knees and looking at his   
hands. "_Now_ what do I do?"  
  
He felt the presence of another being. He looked up, at a catwalk   
above him. Rei III stood there, looking down at him with a cold look   
in her eyes.  
  
"Will you fight?" she asked, her voice still soft but somehow sounding   
as though she was right next to him.  
  
Kaoru shook his head. "No," he said. "I've made my choice."  
  
Rei III nodded and turned away. "And so the Seventeenth Angel is   
defeated, by its own choice," she whispered to herself. "And the time   
for Impact is come."  
  
***  
  
Days later, Asuka was in the middle of another test. Rei III was in   
the Eva bays, alone. She knew what she had to do. She was prepared.  
  
She stood in front of the bay housing the broken Eva-03, which was   
still less than half-repaired. She also carried a briefcase in one   
hand. She had located the case down in the medical wing; the Commander   
had had it reserved for an operation on his hand. But that would not   
be necessary, now.  
  
She opened the briefcase, and looked at the egg-like shape inside. Its   
name was Adam, otherwise known as the First Angel. It had been encased   
in bakelite previously, but that casing had been chipped away in   
preparation for the Commander's operation. Rei lifted the unprotected   
egg out of the case and, after gazing at if for a second, pressed it to   
her abdomen.  
  
Nothing happened for a moment. Then, there was a hissing noise as the   
egg shape burned a hole in her clothing. It sank through her skin and   
into her body. Rei winced with the pain, but waited, feeling Adam   
merge with her S2 unit. Then she turned towards the Eva.  
  
"Bardiel," she whispered, holding out a hand. "You have been defeated,   
but rise again to my will."  
  
At first, it looked like it was just the way the light was hitting her,   
but then it became obvious : Rei was glowing.  
  
The various parts of mecha began moving back towards each other.   
Severed limbs reattached themselves, and other parts grew back of their   
own accord. In just a few minutes, the massive form of Eva-03 had been   
fully reconstructed.  
  
Rei took a step forwards, off of the platform she'd been standing on.   
Her feet hit the anti-shock fluid...and stopped. She walked on the   
surface of the fluid, towards the mecha. Meanwhile, Eva-03 began to   
move, its eyes glowing with the power inside. It pulled free of the   
restraints that had been holding it down.  
  
***  
  
Alarms went off everywhere in the Central Dogma, where the tests on   
Asuka were being run. The bridge crew all looked to their computer   
screens for an explanation.  
  
"Blue pattern detected!" Shigeru shouted out.  
  
"AT field materializing!" Makoto added in, just moments later.   
"It's...it's _here_! In the Eva bays!"  
  
Misato was at his side in moments. "Which Eva bay is it?"  
  
"Getting telemetry...Unit-03 is moving!"  
  
"Put it on the screen!"  
  
The giant main screen of the control room lit up with a view of the Eva   
bays. Sure enough, a healed Unit-03 was in motion, pulling itself out   
of the hangar it had been stored in. A subscreen opened, showing that   
there was no entry plug in the Eva.  
  
"Impossible..." Maya said to herself.  
  
"Get Asuka out of Unit-02," Misato said, watching it happen. "And get   
me the other pilots." Inside, she struggled to keep calm.  
  
"Yes, sir!" Makoto answered. He got on the comm frequency, bringing   
back his results after several minutes. "Pilot Ikari is on the way,   
but pilots Nagisa and Ayanami aren't replying to any calls."  
  
"What?" Misato asked incredulously. "Fine," she bit out. "Change of   
plans. Keep Asuka in Unit-02, and get me a radio connection to her.   
Now."   
  
She looked over at Ritsuko, who had an implacable expression on her   
face. "We can at least use her Eva to distract the Angel," Misato   
explained.  
  
***  
  
"WHAT?!" Shinji shouted into his Eva's radio.  
  
"It's true, Ikari," came the calm voice of the controller on the other   
end. "We've got the scans right now."  
  
"B...but...I don't believe it! NO! Rei isn't an Angel! She can't   
be!"  
  
"Look, Ikari, that's the way it is. And no matter _who_ this is, it's   
the Seventeenth Angel, and you've been ordered to take it down. So are   
you going to, or not?"  
  
"I...which Rei is it?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
^Damn, I forgot. This guy wouldn't know there's two Reis.^  
  
"Forget I said anything," Shinji replied, bitterly. "Where's Kaoru?"  
  
"We're trying to contact him, but he appears to have vanished."  
  
^Kaoru...^ Shinji thought. ^Why would you leave _now_ of all times? I   
need your help. I can't do this alone.^  
  
He took a breath to steady himself. He opened his eyes, setting his   
Eva to full power. The gantry opened, and he headed for the exit to   
Terminal Dogma. He'd get to the bottom of this. It _couldn't_ be Rei   
down there. The girl he'd spent the night with just a few days ago had   
been one of the most human girls he'd ever seen.  
  
He jumped down the large hole Eva-03 had torn open in its quest for   
what lay beneath.  
  
***  
  
Kaoru knocked on the door to the Katsuragi apartment. When no one   
answered, he closed his eyes and concentrated, feeling the lock open on   
the other side. He threw the door open and went in. It didn't take   
him long to find Rei's room. He barged in without a word.  
  
Rei looked up from the book she'd been reading. "N...Nagisa-kun? What   
do you want?"  
  
"I need your help," he said, dragging her off of her bed. "More   
specifically, Shinji-kun needs your help. The Seventeenth Angel is   
here."  
  
"But I thought you were - "  
  
"I might be an Angel, but I'm not the problem, right now. Your double   
is going to try to start Third Impact."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"It's the truth. Shinji's going to need help from both of us this   
time," he said, as he stood her up.  
  
"Understood," Rei said, nodding. She set her jaw. She would help   
Shinji in any way she could.  
  
Kaoru put both his arms around her and pulled her against him. "Hang   
on," he said.  
  
In moments, they'd vanished, leaving the apartment empty.  
  
***  
  
The battle was engaged. Unit-01 was fighting Unit-03. Again. Only   
this time, one of the Evas had no pilot at all, and the other one was   
without a dummy plug. The two machines were also floating in midair,   
heading down into the bowels of the NERV installation.  
  
Shinji deployed his Progressive knife. "Sorry, Touji," he said,   
charging at Unit-03. The other mecha knocked the blow aside and   
punched Unit-01 in the jaw. Shinji felt it just as though it was   
really _him_ that had been hit. Dizzy, but still determined, he tried   
a kick to the Eva's side. Eva-03 took the hit, but used the momentum   
to carry itself away, out of Shinji's reach.  
  
Shinji was about to charge again when Unit-03's left arm came at him,   
stretching over the distance as though it were made of rubber. Shinji   
slashed at it with his progressive knife, and was rewarded with a spray   
of blood from a cut. Unit-03 roared and retracted its limb.  
  
"Rei, stop this!" he called out to the unmistakable form of Rei   
Ayanami, floating alongside the two machines. "Why are you doing   
this?!"  
  
"I am fulfilling my reason for being, Ikari-kun," she replied, her   
voice somehow coming over his radio. Shinji tried to say more, but   
Eva-03 had already recovered. It then flexed its right hand. Shinji   
watched in horror as five separate knives deployed, one from each   
finger.  
  
"Oh, shit," Shinji said, as Unit-03's fingers elongated, sending each   
knife towards him, metal glinting. He moved sideways, trying to dodge.   
Two of the knives embedded themselves in the wall. He blocked another   
one with his own knife, and caught a second with his free hand, but his   
Eva still took one blade in the chest. Shinji screamed in pain.  
  
He pulled back, yanking the knife out of Unit-01 as he did so. Unit-03   
pursued him, pressing its advantage. It retracted its fingers and came   
at him with its clawed hand. Shinji blocked the first blow, but the   
force pushed his knife to the side...and towards Rei.  
  
The massive blade stopped a meter in front of her, though, blocked an   
unmistakable hexagonal pattern.  
  
"An AT field?!" Shinji shouted.  
  
***  
  
"I-it won't start..."  
  
"DAMN it Asuka! Try harder! Shinji can't keep this up!"  
  
"I'm t-trying. B-but it just won't start..."  
  
Sure enough, Unit-02 was lying motionless in its bay. Misato pounded   
angrily on the control desk she was sitting at.  
  
"Excuse me, sir, may I try?"  
  
Misato jumped and turned around. "Rei?! Where'd you come from?"  
  
"It is a long story, which Nagisa-kun can better explain. Please just   
let me try talking to her."  
  
Misato backed off, allowing Rei to pick up the microphone. Maya   
noticed Rei and stared. Then She looked back to the main screen, where   
there was another Rei. Then she looked back to the Rei in the control   
room.  
  
"Wh-what - " she tried to begin.  
  
"Just ignore it, Maya," Ritsuko said, putting her hand on the   
technician's shoulder.  
  
"...Y-yes, sempai."  
  
Kaoru had told Rei what she had to do. She spoke into the microphone.   
"Sohryuu, do you know who this is?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Yes, it's me, Rei Ayanami. Get out of the Eva, Sohryuu. I'll be   
piloting it to stop this Angel."  
  
"...what?"  
  
Rei tried to sound more agressive, like Kaoru had told her to be. "You   
couldn't take it down, anyway. You know what it is? It's Unit-03   
again, the Angel that started your losing streak. You fought it for a   
total of seven seconds last time, before it stopped your Eva cold."  
  
"..."  
  
"You're no use to us if you can't pilot the Eva. _I_ can at least get   
mine to start every time I sit down in it."  
  
"..."  
  
"I miss my Unit-00, but I guess I'll have to do with Unit-02. That   
German machine won't be any good against Unit-03, but I can at least   
slow it down. You can't even do that, _can_ you?"  
  
Misato came up behind her. "Uh...Rei, you're being a little harsh.   
We're trying to get her confidence _up_, you know?"  
  
Rei held up one hand to silence Misato as the radio crackled with   
Asuka's voice.  
  
"...shut up."  
  
"No," Rei said, simply. She could feel it working. "I'm only telling   
the truth. Every battle you've ever been in has either been a loss or   
an assist from one of us. You never really _could_ stop an Angel on   
your own, could you?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"And so here we are, and you can't even _pilot_, let alone fight. I   
could pilot that thing better from _here_ than you ever could in your   
life! Admit it, Sohryuu, I'm the better pilot!"  
  
"SHUT UP! I CAN PILOT EVA BETTER THAN YOU AND SHINJI COMBINED!"  
  
Rei relaxed and smiled, a little. "Show me."  
  
"SHOW YOU?! WATCH THE FIREWORKS, WONDERGIRL!"  
  
A gasp from Maya drew the attention of Rei and Misato.  
  
"I...I don't believe it," Maya said. "Evangelion Unit-02 has started.   
Synchronization is at thirty percent and climbing!"  
  
Misato cast a grateful glance down at Rei, then put on her businesslike   
attitude again. "Put it on the screen."  
  
In moments, a shot of Eva-02's bay was on the screen. The massive red   
machine was in motion. All four of its eyes ignited, glowing like   
miniature suns. Its arms tore free of the restraints and it pushed on   
the huge metal wall holding it down, as Asuka's war cry filled the   
radio channels. The controllers eventually got the idea and opened the   
wall for the determined mecha. Unit-02 stomped out of its bay, the   
ground shaking with each step.  
  
"Asuka, there's a weapons rack on your right!" Misato radioed to the   
girl. "Pick up some guns!"  
  
There was no response. Asuka, with flames almost literally glowing in   
her eyes, reached out and nearly tore the weapons rack off the wall,   
coming away with two pallet guns.  
  
"Synchro level at...it's at _seventy_!" Maya called out. "And it's   
_still_ going up!"  
  
Misato directed the Eva towards the entry to the tunnel down to   
Terminal Dogma. "Now let's see what this Angel's got," she said to   
herself.  
  
They were all fighting for balance a moment later, though, as the   
entire command center shook.  
  
"Major! We've got a problem!" Makoto said.  
  
"What?" Misato asked, whirling on him.  
  
"The strongest AT field ever has just materialized in Terminal Dogma!   
It's blocking out everything! Light, magnestism, sub-atomic particles!   
We can't monitor anything!"  
  
Misato turned back to the radio. "Asuka! Don't...jump." That last   
word came too late, as Unit-02 had just vanished down the entry hole.  
  
"Do not worry, Misato-san," Rei said, calmly. "Nagisa-kun came with me   
to NERV."  
  
While everyone tried to figure out what the hell that meant, the   
command center shook again. The MAGI detected the presence of   
_another_ blue pattern, creating an AT field at least as strong as the   
first one.  
  
***  
  
Kaoru was descending alongside Eva Unit-02, although Asuka couldn't see   
him at the moment. His skin glowed pure white, and the tune of "Ode to   
Joy" could be heard in the background.  
  
^You made me go to these lengths, Ayanami,^ he thought. ^Now Shinji   
will know what I am. Damn you.^  
  
He extended his AT field, pushing it against the one that had   
materialized just moments before Asuka jumped. The red Eva plumetted   
downwards, tearing through the weakened field as though it were paper.   
Below them, Units 01 and 03 were still fighting, though they had almost   
reached the bottom of the shaft.  
  
***  
  
"Shinji! Heads up!" came a voice over Shinji's radio.  
  
"What, Misato-san?"  
  
"LOOK OUT!"  
  
Shinji looked up, just in time to see two enormous red feet descending   
towards him. He bit back a curse and jumped backwards just as he and   
Unit-03 reached the odd underground lake.  
  
Unit-02 crashed down between the other two machines, the impact   
creating a tidal wave of LCL in all directions. Shinji was so   
concerned with keeping his balance that he failed to notice the glowing   
white form of Kaoru fly by him, towards Terminal Dogma, after Rei.  
  
Screaming out another war cry, Asuka levelled both pallet guns at Unit-  
03 and fired. Bullets fired at the rate of dozens of rounds a   
second, Asuka's Eva vibrating with the recoil. Unit-03 raised its arms   
to protect is face, as the bullets hit. The first dozen or so shots   
bounced off of its AT field, but Shinji saw a few bloody wounds on the   
Eva before it was obscured by smoke.  
  
"Takes care of _that_," Asuka said, throwing the empty guns aside.   
"Did you miss me?"  
  
"I..." Shinji tried to say. He noticed something behind her. "Asuka!   
Look out!"  
  
Unit-02 turned around just in time to take a punch to the gut. Sure   
enough, Unit-03 was stepping out of the cloud of gunsmoke, bleeding but   
still moving. It reached out and snared Unit-01's neck with its   
flexible arm.  
  
"Asuka! Go stop the Angel!" Shinji shouted out, as he tried to pull   
the fingers off of his Eva's throat. "This thing won't let go of me!"  
  
"It won't let go of _me_ either, baka! Holy shit! Where did those   
claws come from?"  
  
The three Evas fell into an even more heated combat. Unit-03 yanked   
Shinji off his feet and slung him over its shoulder, where he crashed   
into an iceberg-like obstruction. It then turned towards Asuka. Unit-  
02 pulled out its Progressive knife and jumped at its opponent, its   
strike blocked by Unit-03's claw.  
  
Shinji got up, somewhat nauseous from the impact, and tried to sneak by   
Unit-03. But the renegade Eva just stretched its right arm towards him   
and grabbed onto Unit-01's ankle. Shinji lost his balance and fell   
over again.  
  
Asuka, meanwhile, took advantage of Unit-03's distraction and tackled   
it. She punched it in the face with her Eva's free hand, then brought   
the knife back for a strike to Unit-03's heart. The strike never made   
it, though, as Unit-03 grabbed Asuka's Eva around the armpits and   
pushed her away, its arms elongating as it lifted the red Eva into the   
air and dropped it onto Unit-01.  
  
"Watch where you're going, baka!" Asuka shouted.  
  
^Looks like she's fully recovered,^ Shinji thought. "Asuka, we need to   
take it down quickly! Rei's getting away!"  
  
"Don't worry, Shinji-kun," came a voice over his radio. "I can hold   
her at bay."  
  
"Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked. "Where are you?"  
  
"I'm here. I'm right behind Ayanami."  
  
"Kaoru, no! She's...she's an Angel!" he said, admitting it to himself.   
"She'll kill you!"  
  
"Don't worry about me, Shinji-kun. I can handle this...problem."  
  
Shinji was still confused, but he didn't have time to try an figure out   
the details. Asuka had gotten off of him and jumped on top of Unit-  
03's back, throwing both arms around the black Eva's neck. Shinji knew   
he had to handle this problem before he could handle the next one.  
  
***  
  
Rei walked up to the large metal door, the last defense. She glanced   
at the controls, and they opened, despite the lack of an ID card.  
  
On the other side was a massive white, humanoid figure. Its face was   
hidden by a mask with seven eyes. It's hands were stapled to a   
gigantic cross, holding it in place just above a pool of LCL. Its   
legs, only recently grown, dangled freely.  
  
Rei's feet left the ground as she floated towards the figure, in open   
defiance of the law of gravity. As she slowly approached it, the mask   
seemed to move, just barely, to look at her.  
  
"I'm home," she said to the figure.  
  
But she stopped immediately after that, as a burning shaft of pure   
energy burst from the LCL in front of her, blocking off her approach to   
the figure and forming the shape of a glowing cross.  
  
Rei turned her head and looked back the way she'd come. There,   
standing on the surface of the LCL, was the Fifth Child.  
  
"Nagisa-san," she said to him. "What are you hoping to accomplish?"  
  
The boy shook his head. "My real name's Tabris. And I'm here to stop   
you, Ayanami. You won't get anywhere doing this! Can't you tell that   
that's not Adam? It's Lillith! You can't start Third Impact with   
Lillith."  
  
"Much to the contrary," Rei said, turning around. "_You_ cannot start   
Third Impact with Lillith, for you are made from Adam. I am made from   
Lillith, and carry Adam with me," she said, gesturing to her stomach.   
"The time for Impact is now, since you have chosen not to fight." With   
that, she floated backwards, again towards Lillith. She stopped,   
though, as a glowing AT field materialized behind her.  
  
"The light of the soul. Sacred territory where no one should   
intrude," Tabris said. "You're not the only one who can generate one,   
Ayanami." With that, he floated into the air, a smile on his face.   
  
Tabris finally understood. He hadn't been sent here to cause Third   
Impact. He'd been sent here to die. To be the Seventeenth Angel, and   
to be defeated by the Evas, so that Rei could be used to start Third   
Impact.   
  
With this realization, Tabris no longer wanted to live; his life was   
meaningless, now. But he also knew that he _had_ to go on living, if   
only for a few more minutes. Although he wished to die, he knew that   
he did not have the right to end the life of everyone on Earth.   
  
His eyes hardened with grim determination. He would fight. He would   
kill Ayanami, and then...  
  
"This field will not stop me, Tabris," Rei said, extending her own AT   
field and reversing its polarity to negate the first one. "Third   
Impact cannot be avoided."  
  
"Maybe so, but I made my choice, and I'm going to live by it,   
Ayanami." Tabris' eyes bored into Rei's. It became quite obvious that   
his smile wasn't coming anywhere close to touching his eyes, this time.   
"I chose to protect Shinji-kun. If you want to get through that AT   
field, you'll have to destroy me first."  
  
Rei gave up trying to force her way through, seeing the logic in what   
Tabris had said. True, she could negate the field, but that would   
leave her undefended, and Tabris would only need a second to destroy   
her.  
  
"Very well," she said. She flew at him.  
  
Tabris soared upwards, leaving Rei to swoop up, just barely missing the   
LCL. His eyes narrowed, and a cross-flare erupted out of the ground,   
consuming her.  
  
Rei flew out, unharmed. ^She's still got _her_ AT field,^ Tabris   
thought. ^But I've got to be careful with mine, or else she might get   
through to Lillith.^  
  
As he was thinking this, Rei charged at him, white flames appearing in   
an aura around her body. The boy only just dodged, feeling his hair   
burn as he went in low. Rei did a one-eighty and hit him shoulder-  
first, turning it into a throw that sent him against the far wall.   
Tabris pulled his AT field around himself just in time to dodge the   
worst of the blow. The field protected him, but left the path to   
Lillith open. Rei swooped towards the white figure on the cross, only   
to be interrupted as Tabris threw his field over Lillith once more.   
Rei said nothing; she only turned and headed for Tabris, her face calm.  
  
Tabris dodged and then glanced at the LCL pool, causing a wave of the   
fluid that swallowed up Rei like an ant. The girl emerged unharmed,   
though, the LCL moving out of the way as her AT field pushed it back.   
  
"You're disappointing me, Ayanami," Tabris said, crossing his arms. "I   
thought the pinnacle of NERV research would be able to do better than   
this."  
  
Rei showed no response to his verbal barbs. She held out her hand,   
letting energy gather there before slinging it at Tabris. The tiny   
bullet of white-hot energy made Tabris dodge high, just in time to be   
caught by Rei as she charged him again. Rei guided them downwards, her   
hands going around his neck as they went under the surface of the LCL.  
  
Tabris panicked for a moment, letting Rei get a better hold on him. He   
watched the air bubbles leaving his mouth, wondering if he would drown   
before remembering that LCL was breathable. He struggled with Rei's   
grip, trying to pry the fingers off of his neck. He concentrated and   
flew upwards, out of the gooey liquid. As his vision began to fog from   
lack of air, he spun them around in midair as he gave Rei's arms one   
last tug. As he'd expected, the force from the turn, in addition to   
his own arm strength, were enough to throw Rei off.  
  
The two teens/Angels flew to opposite sides of the room and squared off   
again, still floating several meters above the ground. Behind them,   
Lillith watched, waiting patiently to see who won the conflict.  
  
"Where's your power, Ayanami?" Tabris asked. "From what I've seen, you   
can't even do _this_," he said, causing cross-flares to erupt all   
around Rei. He watched, agitated, as she again came out unscathed.  
  
Rei took a breath and then let it out slowly. Closing her eyes, she   
glowed even brighter than before. As she concentrated all her power   
into her next attack, Tabris felt the connection she'd had with Unit-03   
break. Which meant that the battle outside would soon be won. Now he   
just had to dodge this...  
  
Rei's eyes opened, and the largest cross-flare yet blasted out   
horizontally towards Tabris. The raw power was enough to melt through   
the reinforced metal walls of the bay. The boy ducked, trying to raise   
his AT field, but still caught the fringe of the blast. The partially-  
raised AT field he'd had up was enough to preserve his life, but it did   
not save him from harm; his skin and clothing were scorched by the   
heat. He screamed as his left arm was blasted off entirely. Losing   
his concentration, he fell from the air, and into the LCL.  
  
***  
  
Shinji took a claw in the arm from Unit-03, grinding his teeth as he   
saw blood pouring out of the wounds. Asuka finally found her opening,   
though, and came in from the side, slashing downwards with her knife.   
It cut right through Unit-03's arm.  
  
Roaring, Unit-03 staggered backwards, its shortened limb bleeding   
profusely. Asuka didn't give it an inch, as she tackled it, pushing   
Unit-03 to the ground and pushing her knees into its chest. Unit-02's   
fists came down, again and again, with thunderous force. Asuka didn't   
even bother to aim for vitals; she was only intent on pummelling the   
living shit out of her enemy. Shinji could only watch, stunned and   
sickened, as Unit-03 crumpled and broke underneath the assault.  
  
Then, all of a sudden, Unit-03 stopped moving.  
  
"Asuka, stop! It's dead," Shinji said, watching this.  
  
Asuka's Eva stopped moving, and slumped on top of Unit-03.  
  
"Asuka? Are you alright?"  
  
"Of _course_ I'm not alright, you baka! My battery just ran out!"  
  
^Guess it's just me, then,^ Shinji thought, shutting off his radio link   
to Asuka. He turned just in time to see a massive explosion of energy   
coming from Terminal Dogma.  
  
^Third Impact?^ He waited. ^No...it's not. I'm still here.^  
  
"Shinji, get moving!" came a voice over the radio. "Nagisa can't hold   
her down forever."  
  
"Ritsuko-san?" Shinji asked, as he started his Eva in motion towards   
Terminal Dogma. "What do you mean? How is Kaoru fighting Rei, if he   
doesn't even have an Eva?"  
  
"He's an Angel, too, Shinji," Ritsuko said, quickly. "He's been   
slowing Rei down, but I don't know how much longer he can last."  
  
Unit-01 stumbled. "Wh...what?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Just go stop them!"  
  
In a daze, Shinji started his Eva moving again. Kaoru...an Angel? No,   
it couldn't be true!  
  
***  
  
Satisfied that Tabris was destroyed, Rei moved towards Lillith. What   
was left of her opponents' AT field still blocked her progress. She   
concentrated her own field back onto it, quickly weakening the barrier.   
But her eyes narrowed as she felt the field re-stabilize.  
  
"You think...that...will stop me?" Tabris gasped out. He was behind   
her, again standing on the surface of the LCL. His burns were healing   
rapidly. And, even as Rei watched, what remained of his left arm   
seemed to flow downwards, as though made of clay. It expanded and grew   
back into an undamaged arm. Tabris clenched his brand-new fist to make   
sure it still worked. He flew into the air. "Shinji-kun is late," he   
said to himself.  
  
Rei was about to join the battle again when the far wall exploded   
inwards. Unit-01 tore through the rubble, into the LCL lake. Kaoru   
was first to take advantage of the surprise entry. He shifted his AT   
field, throwing it around Rei and holding her in place. The girl   
immediately started tearing through, but she couldn't move fast enough;   
Unit-01's left hand encircled her, leaving just her head poking out.   
The Eva's right hand similarly restrained Kaoru.  
  
"Kaoru-kun!" Shinji's voice called out from the Eva's speakers.   
"Ritsuko-san told me everything. _You're_ an Angel?"  
  
Tabris nodded as best he could from his position. "Yes I am, Shinji,"   
he replied, with a smile on his face. "Thank you for coming. I wanted   
you to stop Unit-03."  
  
"But...Kaoru..._why?_"  
  
"I suppose it was my destiny. I never meant for you to know. But I   
wanted to protect the ones I love. I needed to stop Ayanami, before   
she went too far. Now, Shinji, I leave the choice in your hands."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Please...destroy us, Shinji. We are abominations, pale copies of Adam   
and Lillith. We don't deserve to live."  
  
"Kaoru, what are you saying? Everyone has a right to live!"  
  
"Yet humans and Angels cannot co-exist, Shinji. Only one species can   
survive. And if I have to choose between your life and my own, I want   
you to be the one who lives."  
  
"K-Kaoru...you can't be serious!"  
  
"I am _very_ serious, Shinji."  
  
"But...you're my friend!"  
  
Tabris did his best to keep down his sad smile. "That doesn't   
matter." He glanced over at Unit-01's left hand, where Rei was   
securely held. He smiled. "You're worth it," Tabris said, looking   
back at Unit-01's face.  
  
"B-but..."  
  
"You need to kill Ayanami, too, because she's intent on causing Impact   
herself. You have her now. If you let her go, she'll just keep trying   
until you kill her."  
  
"Kaoru, it's _Rei!_ I can't kill her! She means too much to me!"  
  
"Shinji, that's not your Rei."  
  
"How can I tell? They look the same."  
  
"Shinji, look inside yourself and ask if they really are the same.   
Deep down, behind your wall of the heart, you can tell them apart as   
easily as though they were not clones. I leave the choice to you." He   
closed his eyes and awaited his fate.  
  
Shinji paused, looking at the screen in front of him. He tried to   
ignore the faces. But he couldn't. In one hand, a very dear   
friend...who wished to die. In the other hand, a person who had a   
fifty percent chance of being the girl he'd comforted the other night.  
  
He froze. He couldn't think. For an eternity, he looked at the pair.   
He couldn't just kill them! Then he'd be a murderer. But, if he let   
them live...then the entire world would be in jeopardy.  
  
"Shinji..." came a faint voice on the radio. With Unit-01 restraining   
all the other AT fields, the radio signal was finally able to get   
through. A screen appeared off to Shinji's right. The staticky   
transmission showed him Rei's face.  
  
"Shinji...please do the right thing," the Rei on the screen said.  
  
Shinji looked closely at the girl on the screen. He could see care,   
worry, and maybe, just maybe...love. The love he'd been searching for   
his entire life. He looked back to the people in his Eva's hands. The   
blue-haired girl in his left hand showed none of those emotions. Her   
face was blank, but her eyes carried a hint of anger, and of soulless   
determination. Over in his right hand, a boy who looked like he'd   
never had a care in the world. A boy who wished to die, so that his   
best and only friend might live.  
  
Shinji made his decision.  
  
CRUNCH.  
  
***  
  
Shinji got out of the Eva, still kind of numb. Down below, sprayers   
activated to wash the blood off his Eva.  
  
There were several people waiting at the exit to meet him. Misato was   
there, of course, as well as Rei. There was also...Kaoru.  
  
The gray-haired boy didn't understand. Why hadn't Shinji squeezed the   
_right_ hand, too? He'd asked to die. He _still_ wanted to die. It   
didn't make sense.  
  
As Shinji came up the steps to the gantry they were standing on, Kaoru   
pushed to the front of the group. He looked at Shinji, about to ask a   
question when -   
  
CRACK.  
  
Kaoru Nagisa, formerly the Seventeenth Angel, fell limply to the   
ground, his nose broken and bleeding. Shinji rubbed his sore knuckles,   
then rubbed a tear out of his eyes. He looked at Kaoru with a   
betrayed, hurt look on his face.  
  
Misato, looking on, praying that those feelings would pass. Hopefully,   
Shinji and Kaoru were close enough to get around this problem. She   
didn't want to see Shinji spare his friend's life, just to spurn him   
later.  
  
Shinji walked up to Rei, who began to look afraid as he approached.   
What would he do to _her?_  
  
Shinji stopped just in front of her, and took a breath. "I'm sorry,"   
he said.  
  
Rei paused for a moment, not having expected this. "For what?" she   
asked.  
  
"For doing that...to the other Rei."  
  
Rei shook her head. "It's fine," she said. "You had to do it.   
And...it makes things easier around here," she said, trying to make   
herself smile for him. "Now you at least know who I am."  
  
Shinji stepped closer. "What's wrong?" he asked, hearing the fear in   
her voice.  
  
Rei stepped back, looking away. "I'm not a normal human, Shinji-kun.   
My clone and I were similar in more ways than appearances." ^I wish   
you didn't have to know.^  
  
"Rei..."  
  
"Humans don't have clones, Shinji-kun. Especially not ones that are   
Angels." At this, she turned her back on him, not wanting to see that   
betrayed look on his face again. It would hurt too much.  
  
She stiffened as she felt his arms encircling her. However, she   
quickly relaxed as she heard his breathing in her ear.  
  
"I don't care," he said. "Even though I know about Kaoru, he's still   
my friend. If he wasn't my friend anymore, I wouldn't have hit him. I   
don't care what you are, Rei. You're still...important to me."  
  
Rei didn't move, taking some time to sort out her thoughts. After a   
while, she turned around to face Shinji. She nodded, slowly. "Thank   
you," she said, hugging him. They stood like that for a long moment.  
  
"Are you okay?" Rei asked him, as she finally stepped away.  
  
Shinji nodded. "I'm just...tired, Rei. I want to go home."  
  
Misato watched the pair with a puzzled look on her face. ^Well, he   
just saved the world, again,^ she thought. ^He can be weird if he   
wants to.^ In the meantime, she called over a medic to wake up Kaoru   
and maybe patch up that nose.  
  
***  
  
Up on the main platform of the control room, Gendo and Fuyutsuki   
watched the events in the hangar from a video screen. Gendo was in his   
trademarked position behind his desk. Although he didn't show it,   
Gendo was disturbed.  
  
"Was this in your scenario?" Fuyutsuki asked.  
  
"...It was a possibility. But it was so faint, we weren't prepared for   
it. Get me Akagi on the phone."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
Gendo went silent again, thinking about how to handle this.  
  
***  
  
Off in the SEELE conference room, the black obelisks were having   
another of their short conversations.  
  
"Gendo has failed again," one of them said, somberly.  
  
"We shouldn't have put all our faith behind one operative," said   
another.  
  
The rest agreed. After a brief pause, the pillar marked 01 spoke.  
  
"It is time we took matters into our own hands. Prepare the Type 5   
Evangelions for battle."  
  
"Yes, sir," the rest chimed in.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Endnote: Damn. I didn't think this thing would be _that_ long. And   
that was (mostly) just Episode 24. Part 3 is even longer. I hope you   
at least have a passing understanding of what happens in the movie End   
of Evangelion. Of course, I'm going to be twisting that movie around   
to suit my own purposes, but I guess it would help to know what   
happened in the movie.  
  
As for the rest, here're the explanations: Kaoru is da MAN. And I hate   
those "sacrifice me" scenes that show up WAY too often in anime. So I   
changed that part. Finally, most people who've been to my site know   
that I don't think highly of Asuka. However, I think she got a pretty   
bad deal in the series: she never really gets her time in the   
limelight, at least not during an Eva battle. So I wrote in her   
fifteen minutes of fame.  
  
And yes, Ritsuko's commentary on Rei's DNA was this fic's answer to the   
"Rei is Shinji's mother" thing.  
  
Finally, I knew that if there was anything that could make Rei laugh,   
it would be "No Need for Tenchi." So I made Misato a closet (no pun   
intended) manga fan. What the hell, it's my fic.  
  
Whew. Anyway, please tell me what you thought. Even a 2-word e-mail   
saying "you suck" is better than nothing at all. E-mail me at   
otakusadist@hotmail.com. While you're at it, check out my web site at:   
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei/index.html  
  
Started : January 5, 2001  
Ended : January 13, 2001  
Rewrite Ended: February 25, 2001 


	4. No Longer Alone

DISCLAIMER : Neon Genesis Evangelion does not belong to me. The   
characters, universe, story, etc. belong to GAINAX and whomever they   
may have sold the rights to.  
  
Warning: Well, if you've read the first 2 parts, you should know what   
to expect: spoilers, swearing, violence, shamelessly altered scenes,   
and some WAFF. There is also a fair degree of lime in this one.  
  
Foreword : Well, here's the third and final installment of "An   
Unwilling Angel". This would have been on the end of Part 2, but since   
Part 2 turned out to be so friggin' long, I figured I should break it   
up. This part is in fact even longer, but I tried to keep it   
interesting.  
  
A fair chunk of this takes place during the movie "End of Evangelion",   
so I hope you have a passing understanding of what happens in that   
movie. I say "passing" because I'm going to be tweaking that movie's   
events. Did anyone ELSE think those type 5 Evas were pansies?  
  
" " denotes speech  
^ ^ denotes thought  
_ _ denotes emphasis (italics)  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
An Unwilling Angel  
Author : Ryan Xavier  
Part 3 : No Longer Alone  
  
Two techs stood in front of the bay for Evangelion Unit-03. They   
stared at the biomechanoid, which had only just recently been dragged   
back into the bay. Unit-03 looked as though it had been run under an   
Eva-sized steamroller. Its form was mangled almost beyond recognition,   
and its right arm had been severed entirely. The amputated appendage   
was floating in the shock-resistant fluid the mecha was stored in.  
  
"You know," one tech said to the other, "I really hate to say this, but   
it looks better than it did when we first got it."  
  
The other man nodded wordlessly. He'd seen Unit-03 when it had first   
been moved up here. It had definitely been in worse shape than it was   
now.  
  
Up in his office, Gendo Ikari watched the techs get back to work,   
restoring the massive Eva to combat readiness. He sat in his classic   
position, with his elbows on his desk and his hands crossed in front of   
his face. This time, however, his jaw was clenched in frustration.  
  
He'd just read a report from the team that cleaned out Rei's apartment.   
Among other things, they'd found the glasses the girl had picked up   
after that first test with Unit-00. Those glasses, which had meant so   
much to Rei, had been broken, by her own hand.  
  
Gendo kicked himself for allowing Akagi to put a new soul into Rei III.   
Although the soul had been almost the same, it hadn't been the Rei he'd   
been raising for years to trust him. With that in mind, he was not   
very surprised that Rei III had turned on him like that. But that she   
would be so obsessed with starting Third Impact that she would take   
Adam for herself, leaving him in the dust...  
  
That wasn't supposed to happen! Third Impact was supposed to reunite   
him with Yui!  
  
Gendo sighed, something he did very rarely. Yui. The name was one of   
the few things that could evoke emotion in him anymore. He missed her.   
So much so, that when he thought about it too hard it would hurt   
inside.  
  
But he had no time for sentimentality. He reached over and picked up   
another one of the reports on his desk. He'd read it already, but he   
still had to get the details down.  
  
Not all was lost, it seemed. After the battle, he'd sent Akagi down to   
see what could be recovered. After dragging Rei III's tortured form   
out of Heaven's Gate, the coroner had removed an egg-like form that had   
been sitting inside of her abdomen. Gendo knew that it was Adam that   
had been removed.  
  
Adam was truly amazing. The first Angel had been bonded to Rei III,   
but upon her death, it had been able to separate itself from the girl,   
waiting calmly within her to be discovered.  
  
He glanced at a few other reports. Even more surprising than the   
discovery of Adam was the fact that Rei II was still alive. Somehow,   
she had surived the removal of her own core. And somehow, she'd made   
it to Central Dogma in time to...motivate the Second Child into   
fighting.  
  
He reshuffled the papers on his desk. He'd try to keep an eye on Rei   
II, but there were many other things to do, as well. Instrumentality   
was coming, and he needed to be prepared for when it was time.  
  
***  
  
"So Nagisa-kun will recover?" Rei asked, quietly, from her position   
seated in the chair of the hospital waiting room.  
  
"Yeah," Shinji replied, the guilt seeping into his voice. "I didn't   
mean to hit him _that_ hard." He shifted in his seat and looked at the   
ceiling.  
  
"Yes you did," Rei replied, looking over at him and trying to meet his   
eyes. "If you hadn't meant to, you wouldn't have hit him that hard."  
  
"Yeah. Maybe." Shinji quite obviously wasn't sure. "But now, he's in   
here getting scanned for skull fractures."  
  
"He will be fine," Rei said, confidently. "Remember how quickly he   
heals."  
  
"Yeah..." Shinji replied, slipping into full 'depressed' mode.   
  
Rei's brow furrowed and she moved over to sit next to him. "What's   
wrong?" she asked, softly.  
  
"It's just...he betrayed my trust, Rei. Just like my father did. I   
don't know what to think about him, now."  
  
Rei took a breath and then leaned against him. "He is still your   
friend, right?"  
  
Shinji hesitated before responding. "Yes," he said. "Yes, he is,   
through it all. He might be an Angel, but...that doesn't make him a   
different person."  
  
"I'm glad you feel that way, Shinji-kun," said a voice that was _not_   
Rei's.  
  
Both teens turned quickly to see the new arrival, who had walked in   
while they'd been talking. "Kaoru-kun!" Shinji exclaimed, standing up   
quickly. Rei, who had still been leaning on him, would have fallen   
over, had she not gotten up at the same time.  
  
"Are you all right, Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked.  
  
Kaoru nodded, still smiling that happy smile of his. "You needn't   
worry about me."  
  
Shinji looked quite relieved. Kaoru, meanwhile, looked over to Rei.   
Two sets of red eyes met, a silent exchange going between them. Rei   
resisted the urge to draw back at the intensity she saw in his eyes.   
That smile could be so deceiving...  
  
"Kaoru-kun...I'm sor - " Shinji tried to say.  
  
"Please do not apologize, Shinji-kun," Kaoru cut in, holding up one   
hand. "If anyone needs to apologize, it is me."  
  
Shinji smiled. "It's okay," he said, slowly. An uneasy silence fell,   
during which none of the three Children knew what to do or say.  
  
"Well...let's go back to Misato-san's," Shinji finally suggested.   
"She's getting all the pilots together to celebrate, tonight."  
  
"Because the Seventeenth Angel is finally destroyed?" Kaoru asked,   
cocking an eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah, I...uh, no offense, Kaoru-kun. But would you like to come?"  
  
"Of course I would, Shinji-kun. But...may I speak with Ayanami for a   
few minutes?"  
  
Shinji paused, then looked at Rei. Rei, for her part, looked at Kaoru,   
studying him for a moment. Finally, she nodded. "It's all right,   
Shinji," she replied.  
  
Shinji looked between them, then shrugged and turned towards the door.   
"I'll be waiting outside," he said. The other two both acknowledged   
this, then went silent, waiting for him to leave.  
  
Silence reigned for several moments after the door had closed. Kaoru,   
still smiling, walked over to a chair and sat down. Rei remained   
standing.  
  
"When I said that I should be the one to apologize, I was speaking to   
both of you," Kaoru said. "Ayanami, I'm sorry for what I did to you.   
I can sense what you two feel for each other. I would only be hurting   
Shinji-kun if I tried to take you away from him."  
  
Rei blinked at this, then nodded slowly.  
  
"But..." Kaoru said, meeting her eyes again, "I also have to tell you   
that I have the advantage. Shinji-kun knows the truth about me. What   
does he know about _you_?"  
  
Rei stayed silent. She couldn't help remembering what Akagi had shown   
her the other day. It was still enough to make her cringe.  
  
"He knows that there were two of you, and that the one he killed was an   
Angel. But there's more, isn't there? Perhaps even _you_ don't know   
how much more. But I'll tell you this. I learned the hard way that a   
relationship is based on trust. If you try to keep a secret from him,   
it will only hurt both of you in the end."  
  
"But..." Rei tried to say. "But...I'm afraid he might...hate me."  
  
"Which would you rather have?" Kaoru asked, keeping his voice calm.   
"When you have a secret, you always feel guilty. Every time he looks   
at you, talks to you, touches you, you think, 'I'm not worthy of this   
kind of trust.' Would you rather live like that, hoping that he   
doesn't find out, or would you rather know _exactly_ how he feels?"  
  
Rei remained passive, thinking it over. She didn't know which she   
preferred. Either choice had its drawbacks.  
  
"You don't _know_ that he'll hate you," Kaoru said, getting up. "At   
least, not now. But try to keep a secret from him, and I guarantee you   
he will hate you when he finds out. If not for the secret itself, then   
for keeping it from him." He paused. "I'll see you at the apartment,   
Ayanami." With that, he turned and left.  
  
Rei swallowed, thinking. After a moment, she stood up, and, looking   
kind of dazed, headed for the door.  
  
***  
  
Later that day, the Children were all gathered at Misato's apartment,   
taking a well-deserved break, now that it was finally over with.  
  
Shinji and Rei were sitting on the couch together, watching one of   
Misato's tapes. Asuka and Kaoru were doing their best to make an   
edible dinner, while Misato stayed back and made sure everything stayed   
calm.  
  
The Major kept looking back and forth between the two pairs. Shinji   
and Rei were actually behaving themselves very nicely. Even as she   
watched, Shinji put his arm around Rei, and the girl leaned her head on   
his shoulder. ^Looks like all it took was a little outside action,^   
Misato thought, grinning.  
  
Asuka and Kaoru were a different story altogether. Kaoru had obviously   
never even been in a kitchen before, but he was still trying his best.   
Asuka was no master chef herself, and she wasn't concentrating fully on   
making dinner, either.  
  
"You better stay out of _my_ Unit-02, rookie," the German girl was   
saying.  
  
"Of course," Kaoru replied, calmly. "I've been assigned to Unit-03,   
now, that it is functional again. And isn't that oven turned up too   
high, Sohryuu?"  
  
"I don't know. Stop acting all perfect and stuff! Geez, you're worse   
than Wondergirl!"  
  
"I am just being who I am."  
  
Asuka muttered something untelligible to herself in German, but went   
back to working.  
  
"So...what are the sleeping arrangements, currently?" Kaoru asked,   
after a few moments of silence.  
  
"Why do you care, you hentai?"  
  
"I'm just making conversation."  
  
Asuka looked at him suspiciously, but replied anyway. "I've got my old   
room back, and Wondergirl and Shinji stay in his room."  
  
"It must be noisy at night."  
  
"What?! No, they don't do that. I know, I check on them all the time   
just to make sure."  
  
"Yes, I suppose Shinji-kun would wait before getting physical."  
  
"Aaarrgh. You're just as bad as that jerk Suzuhara."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The Fourth Child," Asuka said, as she checked on the pork she was   
trying to cook. "I'm sure ol' Wondergirl will want a nice _big_   
helping of this," she said to herself. She stood back up.  
  
"That baka was always trying to show he was the manliest man there   
was," Asuka said, strutting around in a parody of Touji. "We'd only   
just met, and he dropped his _pants_ right in front of me!"  
  
Kaoru looked at her skeptically. "What did you do?"  
  
"I slapped him, of course!"  
  
"No, no. What did you do that made him flash you in the first place?"  
  
"Nothing! I hadn't had _time_ to do anything, 'cause we'd only just   
met!"  
  
"Your cheeks are red, Sohryuu."  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
Misato groaned and walked into the living room, in an effort to get   
away from the noise. She could see dinner was going to   
be...interesting, but it would be no worse than if _she'd_ tried to   
make it. And she doubted she could pull Shinji away from where he was,   
either.  
  
"Aren't _you_ two cute," she said, plopping down in one of the chairs.   
Rei glanced over at her, then immediately went back to watching the   
movie. Shinji just smiled.  
  
After some considerable time, Asuka and Kaoru came back from the   
kitchen. They deposited the edibles on the floor, then took up seats   
of their own.  
  
"What became of the Fourth Child?" Kaoru asked. He didn't touch any of   
the food. He also didn't notice Shinji shudder at the name.  
  
Asuka _did_ notice, however. She glanced over at the pair on the   
couch, then leaned down and whispered into Kaoru's ear. The boy nodded   
as Asuka recounted Touji's short-lived time as an Eva pilot.  
  
"I see," he said, sitting up straight again. "Shinji-kun must've been   
hurt, learning his friend was keeping a secret like that from him." He   
kept his eyes on Rei as he said this. Sure enough, the girl stiffened   
as he finished.  
  
Rei stood up suddenly, pulling away from Shinji, who looked up at her.  
  
"What's wrong?" the boy asked.  
  
"I...need to call someone," Rei said. She walked towards the kitchen,   
but not before throwing Kaoru a look that could have melted steel.   
Kaoru just smiled innocently.  
  
Rei went into Misato's room, where she'd have some privacy. She picked   
up the phone and dialed a number. After a few rings, someone picked   
up.  
  
"Hello, Dr. Akagi? Yes. Is it...possible for you to bring Shinji-kun   
down to show him what you showed me?...Yes, I'm sure...very well."  
  
She hung up, and then rested her head against the wall, swallowing as   
she looked at her feet.  
  
"Scared, Ayanami?" came a familar voice. Rei tried not to scowl, and   
was only partially successful. She looked up, at Kaoru, who was   
standing in the entrance to the bedroom.  
  
"People know I had a twin," Rei said to him. "But if they knew   
everything, some people...might hate me outright." From the tone of   
her voice, it was obvious she was afraid 'some people' could include   
Shinji.  
  
"Yet you'll show him, anyway."  
  
"...yes. You were right, Nagisa-kun. It's worse keeping a secret than   
revealing it, no matter what the secret is."  
  
"Isn't it, though? When will he see?"  
  
"It's not your business, but tomorrow."  
  
"Well, then. I guess I'll go back to the others. And what will you be   
up to? Will you try to make the most of the last night your Shinji is   
in ignorance?"  
  
Rei closed her eyes. "Why are you doing this, Nagisa-kun?" she asked.   
"I never harmed you."  
  
"I suppose so," Kaoru said, turning and leaning his back against the   
doorframe. "But you were able to cross over, Ayanami. You are human   
now, while I will never be anything but an Angel. And...I can see   
where Shinji-kun's true feelings lie."  
  
Rei didn't respond to this. ^He's...jealous?^  
  
Kaoru apparently didn't expect an answer. "Well, then, good luck on   
tomorrow," he said, turning around and walking back to the living room.   
  
Rei paused, making sure she was mentally collected before following him   
back. She sat down next to Shinji again and let him put his arm around   
her, as she resumed her former position. ^I _will_ make the most of   
this last night,^ she thought. ^And tomorrow...we'll see.^  
  
***  
  
The afternoon of the next day, Misato and Shinji got dressed and   
prepared to leave for NERV. Ritsuko had called them that morning,   
telling them that Rei had asked that they see something. She'd also   
arranged to have Asuka put through a harmonics test, so that the girl   
would be out of the way for a while.  
  
"Coming, Rei?" Misato asked, walking up to the doorway to Shinji's   
room. She looked at the blue-haired girl, who was sitting placidly on   
Shinji's bed.  
  
Rei shook her head, without making eye contact. "I've been down there   
already. I don't want to see them again."  
  
"Them?" Shinji asked, from his position next to Misato.  
  
"You'll understand soon," Rei replied.   
  
Misato could tell something was up, but she didn't know what. She did   
her best to look encouraging. "We'll be back in an hour or two," she   
said, turning to go.  
  
Rei nodded in response. "I just..."  
  
"Yes?" Misato asked, turning back around.  
  
"I just...want you to know the truth. That's all."  
  
Misato thought about that, then nodded. "All right," she said. "Come   
on, Shinji."  
  
Shinji didn't follow immediately. With a worried look on his face, he   
walked up to Rei. He took her hand in his, and tried to meet her eyes.   
But she looked away.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked.  
  
"You'll find out," Rei answered. "And you'd better get going."  
  
Unable to understand Rei's cold manner, Shinji turned and walked out.   
"It'll be all right," he said, once he was at the doorway. Rei didn't   
say anything back, so he just shrugged and followed Misato out.  
  
"I can only _hope_ it will be all right," Rei whispered to herself.   
She leaned against the wall and stared at the ceiling. There was no   
turning back, now.  
  
"So you actually did it?" came a voice from the dark hallway. "I'm   
impressed, Ayanami. You had me worried."  
  
The speaker, Kaoru, stepped into the light. Rei glanced at him, but   
then went back to staring the ceiling. She wasn't at all bothered by   
his sudden appearance; that particular ability of his was the main   
reason why she'd been able to get to NERV in time to talk to Asuka.  
  
"Not much to say, eh? Do you mind if I join you, Ayanami?" he asked,   
sitting down at the foot of the opposite wall.  
  
"You may as well call me Rei," Rei said, not looking at him. "You are   
Shinji's friend, so we should at least be on familiar terms."  
  
Kaoru smiled in response. "Then you can call me Kaoru," he said.   
"What are you thinking about, Rei-chan?" he asked, looking at the   
ceiling with her.  
  
Rei's eyes narrowed slightly at the "-chan", but she otherwise betrayed   
no reaction. ^I need to get used to him,^ she thought. ^Shinji would   
want me to.^  
  
"I'm just wondering what Shinji's doing," she said. "And if he'll be   
able to handle what he sees."  
  
"Hm," Kaoru said, turning his gaze to look out the window.  
  
For a long while, they stayed like that, neither of them saying   
anything. Kaoru kept looking out the window, while Rei finally got up   
and started paging through a book she'd read twice already.  
  
"I suppose...Shinji will be reaching the room, now," Rei said, finally.  
  
"Which room, Rei-chan?"  
  
"The one I'm most afraid of him seeing."  
  
Kaoru smiled again, and went back to waiting. But his curiosity had   
been piqued by that statement; he wondered what Shinji was seeing.  
  
It registered at the edge of Rei's consciousness that Kaoru had gone,   
just as suddenly as he'd come. But that wasn't particularly important   
to her, right now. She wondered what Shinji was thinking.  
  
***  
  
Shinji was wondering if he was still sane.  
  
He had already seen quite a lot. He'd seen an Eva graveyard, been told   
quite a bit about the actual nature of what Eva was, and he'd learned   
that Rei had been born down here. The most disturbing bit by far had   
been learning that his mother had been absorbed into Unit-01. He   
hadn't really been surprised; he'd guessed as much, after his   
experience with the Fourteenth Angel. But it was still quite   
unsettling to know for a fact what had happened. And to know that his   
mother might in fact be staying in it by _choice_.  
  
But all that had not prepared him for this.  
  
"Jesus..." Misato mumbled, looking around. She'd had her gun out, just   
in case something went wrong. But she was so shocked that now her gun   
arm just hung limply at her side. Shinji, for his part, said nothing   
at all. He just looked around, dumbstruck.  
  
They were in a huge room, dominated by a tangle of metal tubes in the   
middle. Ritsuko had identified it as the computer responsible for the   
Dummy Plug system. But that was not what held their attention. It was   
the walls.  
  
The walls, previously black, had proven to be clear glass, once Ritsuko   
had hit a button on the remote control she was carrying. And behind   
that glass, floating in a sea of LCL, were...Reis. At least a hundred   
of them. Physically, they were identical to the Rei that was standing   
guard at the entrace to the elevator. But...something was missing, in   
their eyes. Yet they were all laughing, and smiling the same eerie   
smile.  
  
"These are the failures," Ritsuko said. "Candidates for the Eighteenth   
Angel."  
  
"Eighteenth?" Misato asked.  
  
"Yes. Humankind is the Eighteenth Angel. Rei was built for two   
purposes. One, to act as a catalyst for bringing Adam and Lillith   
together and starting Third Impact. Two, to gather the souls of humans   
once Third Impact is in progress, joining them together." She glanced   
at the other two, to see what their response was. Both of the other   
faces were unreadable.  
  
"But we couldn't make Rei on the first try," Ritsuko continued. She   
gestured broadly at the tank surrounding them. "Every one of these is   
a little different, a slightly altered mix of human and Angel DNA."   
Ritsuko paused, taking a breath and choosing her next words. "And not   
a one of them has a soul," she continued. "Currently, they're just   
dolls. We use them in the Dummy plugs, and as spare parts for Rei."  
  
"You mean replacements," Shinji said, anger creeping into his voice.  
  
"If that's what you want to call it, then fine. These were all   
discarded while following that...that damn _scenario_ of his," she   
said. No one had any doubt who the "he" was that Ritsuko was talking   
about.  
  
"Ritsu..." Misato said. "You said they don't have souls. Where are you   
getting souls for them?"  
  
"Rei was only supposed to have one soul, which would just switch bodies   
when necessary," Ritsuko replied. "As for where we got her soul in the   
first place, we built it," she added, offhandedly. "We do the same   
thing for most of the Evas. Artificial souls aren't that difficult to   
make, once you get the hang of it."  
  
Shinji's eyes widened at the thought of _creating_ souls. That sounded   
like something Man had never been meant to do.  
  
"Why...why were these rejected?" Misato asked.  
  
"Well, some of them, like that one," Ritsuko began, pointing to one of   
the Reis, "couldn't survive for more than five minutes out of the tank.   
But those," she said, gesturing to another group, "were actually   
viable. But none of them were accepted."  
  
"Why?" Misato asked, quietly. Her gun hung uselessly by her side.  
  
"Because only the three Reis we've released could contain an S2   
engine."  
  
"An S...2..." Shinji mumbled. He continued looking around, thinking   
that one over.  
  
"Yes, the S2 organ all the Angels have," Ritsuko said. "We made a   
hundred Reis, and only three, _three_ could bear to have an S2 inside   
them. What a waste..."  
  
"You're telling me," Misato said.  
  
Ritsuko snickered a little. The snickering quickly turned into a   
continuous set of small laughs. Misato's grip tensed on her gun,   
raising it back up. "Get a grip, Ritsu," she said.  
  
"It's okay," Ritsuko said, still giggling like a little girl.   
"But...you know what the funny thing is?"  
  
"What?" Shinji and Misato asked at once.  
  
"It's that _nothing_ can contain an S2. From the tests I did on that   
last Rei, I could tell. An S2 lets you manipulate an AT field to an   
amazing extent. But it also slowly weakens the projection of the   
field. Not a very smart thing, considering that's what holds you   
together."  
  
"Huh?" Misato asked.  
  
"It means..." - Ritsuko stopped to giggle a little more - "That for all   
our hard work, we can't stop _this_ from happening." At this, she   
pushed another button on her remote control.  
  
The other three all looked around as they heard machinery powering up.   
Inside the huge LCL tank was a truly sickening sight. The Reis...were   
falling apart. Breaking up, like china. And all the time, they   
continued to laugh. The yellow-orange LCL was quickly stained red with   
the blood. The blood of a hundred children, who had never known what   
it meant to have a soul, or even to live.  
  
"Do you know what you're doing?" Misato asked, aiming her gun at   
Ritsuko's head.  
  
Ritsuko had managed to get control over herself and stop laughing.   
"Yes, I do," she said, in an even tone. "I'm taking away his toys.   
His dolls, that he _needs_ so much, just to see his Yui again. Look at   
them," she said, gesturing to the tank of gore. "Now they're just   
broken dolls."  
  
Misato and Shinji turned as they heard someone let out a thoughtful   
"Hm".   
  
"Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked, seeing the pale boy standing by the wall.   
"How long have you been there?"  
  
"Long enough," he said, keeping his hands in his pockets. His usual   
carefree manner was nowhere to be seen. He looked to Akagi. "I can   
hear their screams in my mind," he said. "They might not have souls,   
but they're still aware. They want you to die, too, Akagi-san. You,   
me, and especially the Rei who's waiting back at the apartment."  
  
Ritsuko laughed again. "I've known that for a while," she said.  
  
"Ritsu, turn that damn thing _off_!" Misato said, unable to keep   
watching what was happening to the clones.  
  
Ritsuko looked over at her long-time friend, sighed, and then nodded.   
She hit a button on her remote, and the walls again went black. As   
they did so, the laughing of the destroyed clones died off.  
  
Kaoru shrugged and turned to face Akagi. "So you say nothing at all   
can carry an Angel core without...adverse effects?"  
  
Shinji looked up at these words. His eyes locked with Ritsuko's as the   
doctor replied.  
  
"What I just showed you is an accelerated version, since none of those   
clones were able to carry the engine. Something that _can_ carry it,   
like Rei III or you, Nagisa-san, could last for a longer time, but..."   
she trailed off.  
  
"...but eventually, that will happen to me, too," Kaoru finished. He   
shrugged. "Ah, well," he said. "I've always said that life and death   
are the same for me."  
  
"Kaoru..." Shinji whispered to himself.  
  
Kaoru appeared struck by a sudden thought. "And what about...the last   
one?" he asked.  
  
"She's fine," Ritsuko said. "That last Rei had a core, but it was   
removed from her. Though I can't understand how she lived through it."  
  
"That's good," Kaoru said. "I wouldn't want Shinji-kun to get hurt by   
losing two friends." As he finished, his voice quavered. The other   
three of the room's occupants could see a single, glistening tear fall   
from his eye. Kaoru's eyes widened as he felt the droplet slide down   
his face.  
  
"What..." he said, wiping the tear away and rubbing his wet fingers   
together. "I didn't know I could..."  
  
Shinji slowly approached his friend. "Kaoru-kun..." he said,   
hesitantly, "It's okay to be afraid."  
  
Kaoru moved fowards and hugged Shinji, remaining silent but not letting   
the boy go. Shinji grew nervous at the proximity, but let Kaoru stay   
close. He could guess what his friend was feeling. Angel or not,   
everyone had some fear of death.  
  
Ritsuko checked her watch. "Asuka's test will be ending soon," she   
said. "And the MAGI will be scanning this area as soon as she's done.   
Let's get out of here while we can."  
  
"I agree," Misato replied, coldly. "Come on, you two."  
  
Kaoru stepped back, having composed himself. He smiled a weak smile   
and gestured towards the exit. Shinji, seeing right through the fake   
cheerfulness, followed him to where Misato and Ritsuko were waiting   
back at the elevator.  
  
They rode up in silence most of the way. Ritsuko took that time to   
compose herself, clearing her mind. But one thing remained on her   
conscience, no matter how hard she tried to get rid of it.  
  
"Misato..." she said, turning to face the other woman. "Could you do   
me a favor?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"The next time you see Rei, tell her...tell her I said I'm s..." she   
trailed off, changing her mind.  
  
"What is it, Ritsu?"  
  
"Forget it," Ritsuko said, shaking her head. "I'll tell her myself the   
next time I see her."  
  
***  
  
Rei was still lying on Shinji's bed when the door to the apartment   
finally opened. Everyone slowly walked in, with somber looks on their   
faces. Misato immediately went to go get a beer. Shinji hesitated,   
waiting in the living room.  
  
"Well?" Kaoru asked.  
  
"Well what?" Shinji replied.  
  
"Aren't you going to go talk with Rei-chan?"  
  
^Rei-chan?^ "I...I mean..."   
  
Shinji _did_ want to go see Rei; he finally understood why he'd been   
getting the cold shoulder back before he'd left. She'd been scared of   
what he'd find. He wanted to go and see how she was doing, but he   
didn't want to leave Kaoru alone, either. He could see the pale boy   
was still a little shaken.  
  
"I'll be fine," Kaoru said, noticing Shinji's indecisiveness. "Get   
going. Or she might get the wrong idea."  
  
That was enough to motivate Shinji. "I...I guess so," he said,   
hesitantly starting towards his room.  
  
Kaoru grabbed Shinji's shoulders, holding him in place. "Take all the   
time you need," he said. "I'll personally guarantee your privacy,   
Shinji-kun."  
  
"Th...thank you, Kaoru-kun."  
  
Kaoru smiled again, then removed his hands from Shinji's shoulders and   
took a seat on the couch. "Good luck, Shinji-kun."  
  
Shinji nodded and turned down the hallway. He successfully made it to   
his room without hesitating. He carefully slid the door open and   
looked in at Rei. The girl sat up as the door opened, looking to see   
who was coming in.  
  
Rei looked scared. Shinji could almost see sweat on her face, as she   
looked back at him. The sight melted him. But it also disabled his   
speech patterns; a heavy silence fell on them.  
  
"H...how'd you do, Rei?" Shinji asked, breaking the silence.  
  
Rei paused, then nodded once. She kept her eyes on Shinji, her face   
still scared.  
  
Shinji knew what he wanted to say. But he found the words weren't   
coming. His throat had locked up, unable to say such things when other   
people were in the apartment. As Shinji sat there indecisive, Rei   
turned her back on him, closing her eyes as she did so.  
  
Shinji was startled as a hand shoved him from behind. He stumbled   
forwards, into the room. Shinji glanced over his back, to see Kaoru   
smiling again. "You needed a little push, Shinji-kun," he said.   
Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, he slid the door shut behind   
Shinji.  
  
Shinji walked up to Rei and gently took her by the shoulders.   
"Rei..." he began, fighting the girl's efforts to pull free.  
  
Rei swallowed and turned around, opening her eyes. Shinji looked into   
them, as they brimmed over and then overflowed with tears, running down   
her tense face.  
  
"It's okay..." he said, pulling her against him. Rei shook, taking   
several rattling breaths.  
  
"It's okay," Shinji repeated, not letting her go.  
  
"Do you..." Rei mumbled to Shinji.  
  
"What?" Shinji replied, softly.  
  
"Do you...hate me, now?"  
  
Shinji smiled. He tilted her head up and looked into her eyes. "You   
are still the same smart, beautiful girl, Rei," he said. "And like I   
said before, I don't care what you are."  
  
Rei responded by holding him closer. ^Thank you, Kaoru-kun,^ she   
thought.  
  
Shinji sat down next to her on the bed, not releasing her. He lightly   
kissed the top of her head. "It's okay..." he repeated. He rubbed his   
hands in broad circles on her back, hearing Rei purr at the sensation.   
At the same time, Rei's hands came up to his shoulders.  
  
The girl tilted her head up to meet his gaze. She moved up the few   
centimeters and kissed his lips. Shinji returned it, feeling one of   
Rei's hands come up and press on the back of his head, holding him in   
place. He rewarded this effort with a deeper kiss, pulling Rei up   
against him.  
  
They finally broke off, both gasping for breath, for a variety of   
reasons. Rei rested her head on Shinji's chest.  
  
"Did you hear about my other...abnormality?" Rei asked.  
  
^You mean _other_ than having a tank full of clones, and being part   
Angel?^ "What are you talking about, Rei?"  
  
"That I'm incapable of bearing children."  
  
"Oh..." Shinji said, trailing off. "No, I didn't."  
  
"Does it bother you?"  
  
"Well, I...uh...never thought that far in advance, I guess," Shinji   
said, blushing. He thought the matter over.  
  
"But it...doesn't change who you are, though, Rei," he said. "Again, I   
don't care about things like that, because you're still..._you_."  
  
Rei breathed out what sounded like a sigh of relief. Shinji started   
rubbing her back again.  
  
"Does it bother _you_?" Shinji asked.  
  
"I'm not certain," Rei said. "But I suppose not. There are much worse   
things I could be without."  
  
"_That_ much, I'll agree on."  
  
The back rub was proving to be hypnotic. Rei felt her eyelids getting   
heavy. But she didn't ask him to stop, either. She just closed her   
eyes and stayed there, a contented smile on her face.  
  
Shinji's hands eventually slowed and stopped. Rei's eyes cracked open   
again, as she lightly grabbed his arms and pushed them down her back.  
  
"Rei...what are you doing?"  
  
"It felt nice when you touched me. I want to feel you...closer."  
  
Shinji blinked, feeling the blood rush to his nose. Rei took advantage   
of his hesitation and slid his hands underneath her shirt.  
  
She'd been right in expecting that it would feel nice. Shinji's hands   
felt soft and warm, if a little shaky. Shinji paused for just a   
moment, before rubbing her back again. Rei moaned in pleasure.  
  
Shinji's hands soon encountered the obstacle of her bra strap. Again,   
Shinji paused, but then decided he should start taking initiative for   
once. He ran his hands across it, finding the latch and unclipping it.  
  
Rei gasped, but then smiled again. She pulled Shinji up against her.  
  
Then all of a sudden, Rei stiffened, her eyes widening a little.   
"Interesting..." she said to herself. She pulled away, much to   
Shinji's discontent.  
  
"Rei? What's wrong?"  
  
"I...need to speak with Major Katsuragi," Rei said, walking off. She   
still looked kind of surprised.  
  
Shinji blinked again, watching the doorway she'd just walked out of and   
almost willing her to come back in. ^I thought she liked it...why'd   
she leave?^ Confused, he got up and went back into the living room.  
  
Meanwhile, Rei had walked into Misato's room. The Major had just   
gotten back in there, and was working on her computer again.  
  
"Katsuragi-san..." she began.  
  
Misato closed the screen she was looking at before turning around.   
"What is it, Rei?"  
  
"I have just experienced an...interesting physical reaction."  
  
Misato's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, Rei?" she asked, her voice   
consoling.  
  
Rei showed her.  
  
"Ohhhh," Misato said, instantly understanding. "Well, that's normal.   
Were you and Shinji-kun...ah, _involved?_"  
  
Rei blinked. Slightly confused by what Misato was trying to imply, she   
shifted her balance and stood with her feet closer together. She also   
reached around behind her back with one arm and grabbed her other arm,   
an old habit she'd never gotten rid of. This motion caused her bra to   
become fully dislodged and fall out of her shirt.  
  
Misato looked at the underwear lying at Rei's feet. "I'll take that as   
a yes," she said. "Like I said, that's normal." She thought it over,   
before something clicked in her mind. "Rei, are you telling me you've   
never been...aroused, before?"  
  
"No, I have not."  
  
"Hoo boy," Misato said, putting her hands on her knees. "Do you even   
know how it works?"  
  
Rei cocked her head, not understanding.  
  
"Sit down," Misato said, gesturing to her bed. "I guess I'm as good a   
person as any to tell you this. But one thing, before we start, Rei."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Call me Misato, at least. I'd like to be a friend of yours."  
  
Rei considered that. Finally, she smiled, lightly. "Thank   
you...Misato-san."  
  
^It'll do for now,^ Misato thought. She waited for Rei to take a seat   
on the bed before continuing. "OK now, Rei, you see, when a boy and a   
girl..."  
  
She continued, doing the best she could to explain it. She'd known   
this issue might eventually come up, what with two teenage roommates.   
She figured Rei was as good a person as any to start with.  
  
She was wrong.  
  
***  
  
Some considerable time later, Rei walked out of Misato's room, carrying   
a sizeable stack of books. She glanced back over her shoulder.  
  
"Thank you, Misato-san," she said. "That was most...informative."  
  
No response came back from the room. Rei walked quietly down the   
hallway and into Shinji's room, where put down what she was carrying.   
She picked up one of the books and started quietly reading through it.  
  
Kaoru, from his position in the living room, watched Rei. He knew that   
he'd just missed something here, but he didn't think it applied to him.   
He went back to staring at the ceiling, something he apparently found   
quite interesting. Shinji lay sprawled in one of the chairs, sound   
asleep. All the sleep he'd missed in the past few weeks was catching   
up with him, now that the stress of fighting the Angels was finally   
gone.  
  
After some few minutes, Misato walked into the living room.  
  
"Hello, Katsuragi-san," Kaoru said, throwing his smile at her.  
  
Misato didn't reply. She walked slowly forwards, as though in a   
trance. She looked quite pale, and she wasn't blinking, either.   
Interested, Kaoru got up and followed her.  
  
Misato trudged into the kitchen, threw open the refrigerator, and dug   
around in it until she came up with a large bottle of sake. She popped   
it open, threw back her head, and took a long shot straight out of the   
bottle.  
  
"I thought you were saving that," Kaoru said.  
  
"I'll buy more," Misato gasped out, lowering the bottle. "I need it   
now. I just gave Rei the...talk."  
  
"What?"  
  
Misato took another drink. "You know, the facts of life."  
  
"What facts of life?"  
  
Misato groaned. "Sex."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Misato took a moment to catch her breath before going back to the   
bottle. After swallowing again, she wiped her mouth off and set the   
bottle on the counter. "Rei's so strange," she commented. "She knew   
almost everything about how the physical part works, but she didn't   
understand any of the emotions involved."  
  
"Were you able to help her?"  
  
"Sort of. After a while I just gave her my hentai manga and told her   
to read through that."  
  
"So that was what she was carrying..."  
  
"Uh huh. Best sex ed there is," Misato said, leaning heavily against   
the counter. She looked and sounded like she'd just run a marathon.  
  
"I never learned about sexual interactions," Kaoru said. "Would you   
teach me, Katsuragi-san?"  
  
Misato looked back down and stared at Kaoru. Her facial expression   
said, without words, 'why oh why me?'  
  
"I'll get to _you_ later," Misato said, pointing her finger at Kaoru as   
though accusing him of something. She shook her head and walked past   
him, after grabbing the sake off the counter again. She had a feeling   
she was going to be needing it.  
  
Kaoru watched her leave, now more confused than he'd been to begin   
with. He finally gave up trying to understand and went back to go sit   
with Shinji again.  
  
***  
  
Several days after the trip to the cloning chamber, Ritsuko was called   
up to Commander Ikari's office. Even before the call had come, she'd   
known what it would be about. She'd gone anyway, knowing that there   
was no way around it. Now, she was standing in the office, alone with   
Gendo.  
  
"This is the worst offense you have ever committed, Akagi," Gendo said,   
seated behind his desk.  
  
Akagi met his gaze, willing herself not to flinch. "I knew that," she   
said. "But I did it anyway. I have no regrets, _Commander_."   
Somehow, she made that last word sound more like a curse than a title.   
Gendo didn't respond for several minutes. Ritsuko waited, exercising   
her patience.  
  
"Why did you do it?" Gendo finally asked.  
  
"They were useless," Akagi replied, sounding as though she were   
continuing a thought instead of answering the question. "They were   
just rejects. And yet, you still insisted on keeping them around.   
They were more important to you than anything, weren't they?"  
  
Gendo slowly stood up, and began to come around the desk.  
  
Ritsuko snorted out a laugh. "They were more important to you than I   
was," she added on, following him with her eyes. "I could never win   
over those dolls, could I? Say, when you got tired of fucking me, did   
you use _them_ instead? Just so you could pretend you were with your   
precious Yui agai - "  
  
Gendo cut her off with a hard punch to the jaw. Ritsuko went   
sprawling, feeling a few of her teeth loosened by the blow. Since the   
world was spinning, she couldn't move as Gendo knelt down and put his   
hand on her neck.  
  
Gendo's voice dripped with concealed hate. "If you speak ill of my   
wife again, I will kill you myself."  
  
Ritsuko turned her gaze away from him, doing her best to ignore the   
hand on her throat. "Go ahead, then," she said. "You think it would   
hurt? I gave up on you when you asked me to kill Rei."  
  
Gendo's hand tightened. "You should have done what I asked."  
  
"She's a little girl!"  
  
"She's a creation, nothing more," Gendo said. His hand tensed, but   
then he pulled back, obviously fighting the urge to crush Ritsuko's   
windpipe.  
  
"Get up," he bit out, as he stood. Ritsuko didn't move. "Get UP!" he   
shouted, delivering a vicious kick to her ribs. This time, Ritsuko   
stood, clutching her side and panting.  
  
"In other circumstances, I'd have just killed you for this," Gendo   
said, regaining control of himself. He turned his back on her. "But   
currently, we need you."  
  
"Of course," Ritsuko choked out. "Just use me up and then throw me   
away. Just like everyone else."  
  
Gendo half-turned his head to look at her. "If you follow orders this   
time, I'll make sure you survive. Though you won't go unpunished."  
  
Ritsuko laughed quietly, even though it made her bruised ribs burn with   
pain.  
  
"SEELE's trying to take matters into its own hands," Gendo said, as he   
sat back down and assumed his standard position. "They'll inevitably   
try to attack our computers. We'll need you to defend the MAGI."  
  
"...Fine," Ritsuko said. She didn't like agreeing with him, but if he   
was being serious, then not helping would mean certain death.  
  
"Now get out of here. My sources tell me we can expect an attack   
within 24 hours."  
  
Ritsuko turned to go. "And what happens to Rei?" she asked. "The one   
Rei still around."  
  
Gendo clenched a fist. "That's none of your concern," he said.  
  
"Yes, sir," Ritsuko said, walking out the door. ^None of my concern,   
my ass. I have a pretty good idea what you have planned for her.^  
  
***  
  
No more than 20 hours after Akagi left Gendo's office, alarms were   
going off all over Tokyo-3. An army was closing on the city from all   
sides.  
  
Already within the city, double-agents working for the JSSDF had   
started causing chaos. Backs were stabbed, locks were picked, and   
computers were hacked. The heavily fortified gates into the Geofront   
were taken by surprise and overrun by commando teams.  
  
And watching over it all, nine planes circled. Each plane was painted   
in jet black, radar-absorbent paint. And each one was tremendous,   
easily the size of an office building. The soldiers on the ground   
found it hard to believe that not one, but NINE of something that large   
could actually be flying.  
  
Each plane also had a red number painted onto its back. The numbers   
went from 05 to 13. The planes waited, patiently, for the time when   
they would drop their deadly cargo.  
  
***  
  
Oblivious to the events outside, Shinji and Rei sat in the NERV   
cafeteria, enjoying a brief snack. Several days ago, it would have   
been unthinkable for Rei to be out in public. But now that everyone   
and his dog knew that the blue-haired girl had had a twin, it was at   
least moderately acceptable for her to be out of the apartment like   
this.  
  
Earlier in the day, Rei had decided that now that her secret was out,   
she could leave the apartment. She'd asked Shinji to accompany her to   
NERV, something the boy had not understood, but which he'd done,   
anyway. They'd ended up at the cafeteria, where Shinji had decided it   
was time for Rei to broaden her culinary horizons.  
  
"What is this called, again?" Rei asked, as she used a spoon to probe   
the thing in front of her.  
  
"It's called a sundae," Shinji answered, taking a bite of his own.   
"You've never had ice cream before?"  
  
"No," Rei said. She hesitantly took a bite, sloshed it around inside   
of her mouth, and then swallowed. "Interesting..." she said, before   
taking another, larger, bite.  
  
"They're good, aren't they?" Shinji asked.  
  
Rei just nodded, since her mouth was full.  
  
"Let me guess...my dad thought they weren't necessary, right?"  
  
Rei nodded again.  
  
Shinji sighed and continued with his own sundae. He glanced up at Rei   
again, holding in a laugh as he saw she'd managed to get melted ice   
cream all over her chin.  
  
"Very messy," the girl said, swallowing again. She started cleaning up   
her face with a nearby napkin.  
  
"So..." Shinji said, hesitantly, "You finally got out of the apartment.   
Why'd you ask me to come here?"  
  
"I wanted to spend time with you."  
  
"Oh. Well...that's nice, I guess."  
  
Rei crossed her fingers and looked down at her lap. "So..." she said.  
  
"...so?" Shinji asked.  
  
"How do you feel, now? You seemed disturbed, after the...last Angel."  
  
"I don't know," Shinji replied. He took a bite of his ice cream to   
give him time to think. Rei stared into his eyes while he chewed.  
  
"Well, of course I'd be disturbed," Shinji said, after he'd swallowed.   
"I just had to kill someone who I thought was human. And your clone,   
no less. I don't know if I can do it, anymore."  
  
"You mean, pilot Eva?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, it's understandable. But it would also appear to be irrelevant.   
With the last Angel gone, there is really no longer a reason to pilot."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"But...if you needed to pilot again, what would you do?"  
  
Shinji was momentarily distracted as he spotted a group of NERV men ran   
down the hallway, full-tilt. ^Wonder what all the excitement's about,^   
he wondered. He turned back to face Rei.  
  
"I..." he said. He looked at his left hand, remembering how the clone   
of Rei had exploded into blood. He'd killed Angels before, but killing   
one that looked human had been very, very different. The frightening   
part was how easy it had been.   
  
He looked back up at Rei, intending to say that he would quit at the   
first chance he'd get. But then he saw the pleading look on her face.  
  
"I never enjoyed piloting Eva," Rei said, still looking at him. "But I   
did it, anyway."  
  
"But didn't my father order you to?"  
  
"The first few times, yes. But after that, I kept going, because I   
wanted...to protect you."  
  
"Me?" Shinji asked, blushing.  
  
"And the rest of the city," Rei added, quickly. "But you could say I'd   
found a reason to pilot."  
  
"I kept piloting because it was just what I was supposed to do," Shinji   
said. "After a while, though, I kept going because it made people   
respect me."  
  
"I suppose...that is an acceptable reason," Rei said. She failed to   
keep the disappointment out of her voice. Watching this, Shinji felt   
his mind decide before he was even ready. He took a breath.  
  
"Rei..." he said. "If I...need to do it again..." he paused, as the   
girl looked back up at him, her eyes questioning.  
  
"I'll..." he said, pausing again. "I'll do it. I guess I've got some   
people to protect, too."  
  
Rei finally smiled. "Thank you, Shinji." The boy nodded to himself,   
hoping he'd made the right choice.  
  
"Shinji..." Rei began again, hesitant. "There actually was a reason I   
asked you here."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I didn't sleep last night."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I was thinking." Rei paused and stirred her sundae, watching it melt   
into slush. "Shinji, did you hear what I said during the Sixteenth   
Angel's attack?"  
  
"I don't remember much of the radio stuff, no. I think all the AT   
fields were scrambling the transmissions or something."  
  
"Oh..." Rei replied, somewhat saddened. "Shinji, during that battle, I   
was faced with the idea of my soul wanting to join with another's."  
  
Shinji blinked several times, not understanding.  
  
"I didn't know what it meant," Rei said. "I was confused, and a battle   
is not the time to be pondering philosophy."  
  
Shinji nodded, still not understanding. Rei sighed, trying to figure   
out how to say what she was thinking. She looked away from him,   
resting her chin on one hand. Shinji couldn't help thinking, for a   
moment, that she looked just like she was sitting at her desk at school   
again.  
  
"But later, when I had to stay at the apartment, I had nothing _but_   
time to think it over," she said, still looking off to the side. "I   
wondered what it could mean, but even with all the time I had, I could   
only figure it out partially."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"I realized that it was impossible to truly live alone," Rei said,   
finally turning her head to look at him. "We all need interaction to   
feel alive. Even before the Sixteenth, I preferred being among people   
who knew me as opposed to being in my apartment. But..."  
  
Shinji could see Rei was nervous. "Take your time," he said. Rei   
shook her head and tried to go on.  
  
"But I still felt like something was lacking. I didn't realize the   
answer until when you came back from seeing...what I was."  
  
"Oh...that's good, I guess." ^Where is she going with this?^  
  
"I found I needed someone who would stay close to me and protect me.   
Someone who makes me whole. Someone who...was the missing part of my   
life that I never knew was missing, before." She looked up at Shinji.   
"And I think you may be that person, Shinji." She finished by smiling.   
Shinji was instantly captivated by the look on her face. For once, Rei   
actually seemed _alive_.  
  
Then what she'd just said hit him. "Are you telling me...you're in   
love with me?"  
  
Rei smiled again. "I still can't find a good definition of the word.   
Everyone says that when you're in love, you 'just know.' But yes, I   
believe that's what I'm saying."  
  
Shinji swallowed loudly. A part of him wanted to run like hell. That   
was also the part that was afraid of reaching out, of commitment to   
someone who would probably die or leave him, anyway. But for once,   
that was not the dominant part of him.  
  
He slowly pushed his ice cream off to the side. He slowly reached   
across the table. He took Rei's hand, noticing it was still coated in   
melted ice cream.  
  
He swallowed again. "Rei, I..."  
  
He was cut off quite abruptly as his sundae exploded. They both   
jumped, as they were covered with ice cream and pieces of broken glass.   
Rei was the first to realize that a gun had just fired.  
  
"Get down!" she shouted, as more shots broke out. Shinji caught a   
glimpse of several men, wearing black commando uniforms and armed with   
machine guns, charging in.  
  
They both took cover, as the formerly peaceful area exploded into   
chaos.  
  
***  
  
"Can't we fight back?!" Misato shouted.  
  
"Negative!" Hyuuga replied, typing madly on his terminal. "MAGI are   
being hacked from around the world! Defense systems aren't working!   
We can't even activate the alarms in half the rooms!"  
  
Misato swore. A lot.  
  
"Their primary targets will be the pilots," came a voice from up above.   
Misato looked up at the control platform, where Gendo Ikari was looking   
down at her. She nodded.  
  
"Get the pilots here," Misato ordered. "They're in danger."  
  
"Intruders inside the NERV complex!" Shigeru called out. "Heavy   
casualties reported!"  
  
***  
  
Kaoru walked calmly into Central Dogma several minutes after he'd been   
called. People were running around everywhere, frantically trying to   
keep things from falling apart. Every once in a while, the base shook   
from an explosion outside.  
  
The hardest working individuals were the bridge crew and Ritsuko, all   
of whom were fighting the hackers and hoping against hope that they   
could restore control to the defenses.  
  
"Nagisa-kun!" Misato called out, coming over to him. "Good, you made   
it."  
  
"Indeed," Kaoru replied. "What is the situation?"  
  
"The UN's attacking. I've just been told that they've got Evas of   
they're own, with that Dummy plug autopilot system."  
  
"Why would they attack?" Kaoru asked, peeking past her to watch the   
activities of the bridge crew.  
  
"It's crazy, but Ritsu says they're going to try to start Third Impact   
with the Evas."  
  
Kaoru looked at her, puzzled. Then, he shrugged; he could tell Misato   
didn't know why humans would want to start Third Impact, either.   
"Where are Sohryuu and Shinji-kun?" he asked.  
  
"We've already put Asuka into Unit-02 and set her at the bottom of a   
lake for later deployment," Misato said. "And we're still waiting on   
Shinji. I was about to go and look for him myself."  
  
Kaoru's expression instantly changed over to one of worry. "Shinji-kun   
is still in the base?" he asked. "But there's fighting going on   
everywhere! He's in danger!"  
  
Misato nodded, and checked her gun to make sure it was prepped.   
"That's why I'm headed out."  
  
"Then I'm going with you," Kaoru said.  
  
"No way," Misato replied, shaking her head and holstering her gun.   
"You get in Unit-03 and prepare to back up Asuka once she sorties. The   
JSSDF has its mass-production Evas ready for deployment against us."  
  
"I don't care," Kaoru replied, firmly. "I'm going to make sure Shinji-  
kun is all right."  
  
Misato looked down at him, seeing the determination in the boy's eyes.   
"Fine," she said, relenting. "We'll split up. You can handle   
yourself, right, Nagisa-kun?"  
  
Kaoru nodded.  
  
"If you haven't found him in twenty minutes, you go to the Eva bays and   
you back up Asuka, got it?" Misato ordered, staring him in the eye.  
  
"Yes, sir," Kaoru replied almost casually. He immediately headed off   
into the corridors of NERV, leaving Misato to trail after him.  
  
***  
  
Shinji cowered under the table with Rei.  
  
They were still in the NERV cafeteria. Shinji couldn't belive how   
crappy this situation had suddenly become. One minute, he'd been   
taking a pleasant break with Rei. The next, UN troops had stormed in,   
just in time to meet armed NERV personnel coming in on the opposite   
side of the room. Anyone with any brains had either fled or taken   
cover.  
  
Shinji winced as he heard another man scream from a bullet wound. "Any   
ideas?" he asked Rei, who was leaning against his back.  
  
Rei was the picture of self-control. "I suggest we escape, Shinji.   
There's no shame in running when it is suicidal to stay."  
  
Shinji nodded. "OK, then...any ideas of how to do that?"  
  
"I believe so. Follow me." She went out from under the table and, on   
her hands and knees, started making her way across the floor. Shinji   
followed, reminded of how much this was like when NERV lost power. He   
hoped Rei wouldn't insist he keep his eyes on the floor.  
  
They ducked under several tables, moving slowly for the exit Rei had in   
mind. Stray bullets whizzed by them, leaving pockmarks in the floor   
and tugging at their clothes and hair. Shinji stiffened as he felt a   
particularly near-miss scrape his arm. He shook it off, though, and   
kept moving. He couldn't let Rei get too far ahead of him.  
  
"Ready..." Rei said, as they took cover under another table. She   
glanced around. "Okay, go," she said, and started moving again. But   
as Shinji tried to follow, Rei froze.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing..." Shinji tried to say, but stopped as he saw   
a black gloved hand grab the back of Rei's shirt and pull her onto her   
feet.  
  
Rei looked up at the UN trooper that had caught her. Sheer terror   
froze her feet to the floor. ^This is not the time to lock up,^ she   
thought to herself. ^Come on, _move!_^   
  
She glanced back under the table, where Shinji was trying to escape   
back the way they'd come. The trooper did not miss that glance. He   
signaled to another one of his men, who ran over and dragged Shinji out   
into the open.  
  
"First and Third Children located," the man said into his head comm.   
"Proceeding with terminations."  
  
Rei's eyes widened. They were going to...do _what?_ To _Shinji?_  
  
She was moving before she even realized what she was doing. Her knee   
met the groin of the man in front of her. He fell to his knees,   
cursing. Rei vaulted the table and tackled the man holding Shinji,   
using her velocity to push him to the floor. She did her best to pin   
his arms.  
  
An impact in her stomach sent her flying off of her prey. Rei rolled   
on the ground, breathless, looking up at the third UN trooper, the one   
who'd just kicked her. The man pulled out his pistol and aimed it at   
Rei.  
  
"Don't blame me, kid," the man said.  
  
That was all he got out, though, before an arm went around his neck and   
turned him to the side. The pistol shot went wild, missing Rei by a   
good margin. Meanwhile, the person holding the trooper pulled out   
their own gun. Using the man as a human shield, the person turned and   
coldly emptied rounds into the other two troopers.  
  
Misato kept her arm around the man's neck as she leaned forwards to   
whisper into his ear.  
  
"Don't blame me," she hissed out. She then adjusted her grip on his   
head and twisted.  
  
CRACK.  
  
The man fell to the ground, his head hanging at an odd angle. Misato   
jacked out the empty clip in her gun and loaded in a new one.  
  
"Time to go!" she shouted out. "Come on, you two!"  
  
Shinji and Rei were on their feet in moments. "Follow me!" Misato   
shouted, running towards the NERV personnel who were now clearing out   
the cafeteria. Shinji and Rei followed.  
  
"Hang on," she said as they passed a NERV man. She turned to her two   
wards. "You two better say goodbye here. Shinji...you'll pilot,   
right?"  
  
"All...all right, Misato-san..." Shinji said, clenching his fists to   
steel himself. "I'll do it." He turned to face Rei. She looked so   
much like the girl he'd killed...but she was so different, at the same   
time.  
  
"I've got something to fight for," he added.  
  
Rei surprised everyone by leaning forwards and giving Shinji a french   
kiss that made Misato's jaw drop. ^Geez, _I_ can't kiss like that,^   
the Major thought. ^I guess she got something out of all that hentai   
manga.^  
  
"That's how adults kiss," Rei said, stepping back. "We'll do the rest   
when you get back."  
  
Misato scratched her nose, unable to shake the feeling that someone had   
just stolen her line.  
  
Shinji blinked and tried to stem a slight nosebleed. "Where'd you   
learn how to do _that?_" he asked her.  
  
"I'll tell you later," Rei said, smiling provocatively.  
  
Misato figured she had to step in before this went on too long. She   
pushed Rei into the arms of the nearest NERV man. "Take this girl to   
safety," she ordered. The man nodded and turned to take Rei down   
another corridor.  
  
Shinji, still a little dazed, blinked and then looked at Misato. "I   
guess we should get going, then?"  
  
Misato nodded and took off down another corridor. Shinji followed. As   
they came to the doorway to the lift that would take them to the Eva   
bays, Shinji started to relax. They hadn't run into any other   
commandos along the way. Maybe things were getting better.  
  
Spoke too soon.  
  
Just as they reached the door, another group of UN soldiers appeared on   
a lower level. They saw Misato and Shinji, and immediately opened   
fire.  
  
Misato didn't even have time to react. She could only see the muzzle   
flashes, and was sure that she could see the bullets, too. She grabbed   
Shinji and tried to shield him with her body. ^I'm sorry, Shinji,^ she   
thought, closing her eyes.  
  
The hits never came.  
  
Misato cracked her eyes open and turned around, simultaneously checking   
herself for bullet wounds. She would have looked over at Shinji, but   
her attention was rooted to the scene in front of her. The bullets   
were coming, but they were stopping in midair, bouncing off of an   
indestructible...  
  
AT field?  
  
"YOU BASTARDS!" Kaoru shouted, coming down on them from a higher level.   
Several of the soldiers fired at him, to no avail. One of hurled a   
grenade. The projectile just deflected off the AT field, exploding   
harmlessly in the air.   
  
He fell down into their midst, his skin glowing white. He closed his   
eyes and concentrated his AT field, blasting the troopers over the   
guardrail, where they fell screaming for several dozen stories before   
hitting the ground.  
  
Taking deep breaths, Kaoru looked up at Misato and Shinji. He floated   
over to them, stopping out in midair and looking down at the pair.  
  
"K...Kaoru-kun..." Shinji stammered out.  
  
"Are you all right, Shinji-kun?" Kaoru asked, actual panic creeping   
into his voice.  
  
"I...I'm fine."  
  
Kaoru breathed a tremendous sigh of relief. "I guess we should be   
going then. Odds are they'll be bombing this area soon," he said,   
landing in front of Shinji. The glow receded back into him. In   
moments, he again looked just like a normal boy.  
  
"N-Nagisa-kun...thank you," Misato said.  
  
Kaoru shrugged. "I was just doing my part as a friend," he said,   
smiling. His smile fell quickly, though, and his brow furrowed. He   
cocked his head, as though hearing something.  
  
"What is it, Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Shh..." Kaworu replied, holding up a finger. He nodded after a   
moment. "I understand now," he said to himself. "So he's still intent   
on making it happen..." Shaking his head, he turned to Shinji.  
  
"Shinji, take your Eva and head down to Terminal Dogma," he said,   
authoritatively.  
  
"Hey, Nagisa-kun," Misato said. "I don't care who or what you are,   
_I'm_ the commanding officer here."  
  
"I understand, Katsuragi-san. But it is imperative that Shinji-kun go   
down to Lillith."  
  
"Alright, Kaoru-kun," Shinji said, cutting off Misato's response before   
this could turn into a full-fledged argument. He headed into the lift   
just beyond the door they were standing in front of.  
  
"And what are _you_ doing then?" Misato asked, crossing her arms and   
looking down at Kaoru.  
  
"I suppose I should pilot," he said, smiling and again going into his   
relaxed composure. "I _was_ ordered to back up the Second, correct?"  
  
Misato nodded. "Get going, Nagisa-san."  
  
Kaoru nodded and got into the lift with Shinji. Misato waved goodbye   
to them, thinking that this could be the last time she saw either of   
them. After the lift doors closed, she headed for another lift, one   
which would take her back up to Central Dogma.  
  
***  
  
At the same time, Rei was being rushed down another hallway. The NERV   
man who'd been appointed to escort her was not very polite, but he was   
fast.  
  
"I'm taking you to one of this building's shelters," the man explained,   
as they turned down another corridor. "Those things can take a N2   
blast, so you should be safe there."  
  
Rei didn't respond; she just concentrated on keeping up with the man's   
pace.  
  
"Hold it," came a voice. The owner of that voice stepped around a   
corner.  
  
The NERV man relaxed when he recognized the new arrival. Rei, however,   
nearly had a coronary. Gendo Ikari stood in front of them.  
  
"I'll take her," Gendo said, calmly.  
  
"Oh...I see, sir. I was going to take her to a shelter - "  
  
"That is fine. You are relieved of your duty."  
  
"Yes, sir," the man said, nodding. "I'll - "  
  
"No. Don't listen to him!" Rei called out. "Let's go!" she said,   
trying to pull the NERV man in another direction.  
  
The man looked up at Gendo for instructions, only to see that the   
Commander had pulled out his gun. With one shot, he dropped the NERV   
man to the floor.  
  
"I don't have time for such nonsense," Gendo said, grabbing Rei around   
the waist and picking her up off the ground. He slung the panicking   
girl over his shoulder and started off back the way he'd come.  
  
He headed for Terminal Dogma.  
  
***  
  
Shinji stood in Unit-01's hangar. He was quite prepared to jump into   
the Eva and get going, but unfortunately, he couldn't get at it. Unit-  
01 had been coated in bakelite as NERV was evacuated. Currently, the   
most powerful fighting machine on the face of the planet was sealed   
inside a nearly unbreakable layer of crystal.  
  
"Dammit," he said to himself. "What am I supposed to do now?"  
  
He sat down on the floor and looked at the Eva, trying to figure out a   
way into it.  
  
***  
  
Kaoru was in his plugsuit, set up inside Unit-03. Unfortunately, he   
hadn't launched yet. He sat in the Eva with his eyes closed, waiting   
patiently.  
  
"Can't we even launch an Eva?" Misato shouted from her position at   
Central Dogma.  
  
"We're _working_ on it!" Makoto yelled. "I think we can beat the   
hackers, but it'll take time!"  
  
At that moment, UN troopers made their appearance on the lowest level   
of the control room. Everyone took cover as the shots began to ring   
out.  
  
"Keep working!" Misato shouted. "Aoba-kun!"  
  
"Yes, ma'am?" Shigeru Aoba asked, turning slightly to face her.  
  
"You're with me. We've got to cover our people."  
  
"Roger."  
  
The technicians went back to typing, trying to ignore the bullets   
flashing by them. Shigeru, meanwhile, took out the submachine gun he'd   
had under his desk. After checking to make sure it was loaded, he   
crouched down next to Misato. Misato readied her pistol. Using the   
computers as cover, they returned fire on the troops.  
  
"C'mon..." Makoto said, his fingers flying so quickly they were a blur.  
  
Maya was was a mess. "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die..."   
she kept mumbling to herself, as she cowered under her desk.  
  
"Keep _working_, Maya!" came a voice from inside the MAGI. "You can   
panic _after_ we're done!"  
  
"Y-yes, sempai," Maya muttered. She pulled herself back up to her   
terminal and started typing.  
  
Shigeru popped up from behind cover and gunned down three UN troopers   
at one go. He ducked back down just as the return fire began   
ricocheting off of the walls.  
  
"Good shooting, Aoba-kun!" Misato shouted out. Shigeru just nodded.  
  
"Almost..." Makoto mumbled to himself, the computer's display   
reflecting off of his glasses.  
  
Misato took her turn, getting up and taking a bead on a soldier. She   
put two rounds in his chest before he could return fire.   
Unfortunately, she got up just as another trooper fired at the control   
center. Even as she killed the one UN trooper, she took a bullet in   
the gut.  
  
Misato cried out in surprise and fell to the ground, dropping her gun   
and cradling the wound. Blood was pouring out of her, pooling on the   
floor.  
  
"Major!" Shigeru shouted out, crawling over to her.  
  
"It's alright!" Misato lied. "Keep fighting! They need more time!"  
  
Shigeru looked at her suspiciously, then nodded and went back to taking   
potshots. Several interminable minutes passed. Then:  
  
"Almost...got it!" Makoto shouted.  
  
NERV came to life around them. The MAGI all began to hum as powerful   
motors engaged within them, bringing them back to full operational   
capacity.  
  
The defensive systems re-engaged. All around the control center,   
panels in the walls slid open. Out of them came automated miniguns and   
anti-personnel grenade launchers, which immediately began firing on the   
UN troops. Throughout the building, similar things were happening to   
the invaders. The battle was finished in moments, with a decisive   
victory for NERV.  
  
In the chaos, no one noticed Ritsuko crawl out of the MAGI and sneak   
off down into the depths of the Geofront, towards Terminal Dogma.  
  
"We did it, Major!" Makoto shouted, turning to look at her. "We...oh,   
no..." he said, looking at Misato, who was now lying on the floor,   
shivering.  
  
"Someone get a doctor in here!" Makoto shouted, running over to her.   
He pulled her shirt up and had a look at the bullet wound.  
  
"Feels...cold..." Misato mumbled. "Hyuuga-kun..."  
  
"Yes, ma'am?" Makoto asked, leaning down to better hear her.  
  
"Evangelion Unit-03...l-launch..." she mumbled, before she went limp.  
  
Makoto immediately put two fingers to Misato's wrist. He grit his   
teeth at what he felt. "Lauch Unit-03!" he yelled out to the control   
center. He then immediately started CPR on the woman.  
  
Kaoru's eyes opened as he felt the launch equipment come to life around   
him, followed shortly thereafter by launch orders.  
  
"Well, let's go," he said to the Eva. Moments later, Unit-03 was   
rocketed up to the surface.  
  
***  
  
Asuka was already in action. Misato had ordered her to power up and   
engage the UN troops some time ago. She had done so, with relish.  
  
It had been an _extremely_ one-sided battle, considering Unit-02 had an   
AT field conventional weapons couldn't touch. Asuka had taken great   
pleasure in throwing battleships around like footballs, before she'd   
climbed out of the lake she'd been stationed in. Then, she'd started   
stepping on all the ground units, watching as tanks were reduced to bus   
tokens underneath her Eva's massive feet.  
  
The UN had cut her umbilical cable a few minutes ago, but her battery   
had given her more than enough time to cause havoc among the troops.   
Unfortunately, she now had only about a minute of power left.  
  
"C'mon, you want some more of this?!" Asuka shouted, making sure her   
shouts were broadcast over her Eva's loudspeakers to the troops   
underneath her.  
  
She stopped as she heard powerful machinery activating. She turned   
towards Tokyo-3, not even noticing as UN missiles exploded against her   
AT field. What she saw made her smile.  
  
Tokyo-3 was powering up, going to full operational mode. The buildings   
retracted into the ground, and thick armor plates moved up into   
position. More importantly, the weapons that had been designed to take   
down Angels were now activating, and targeting the UN. The first   
several lines of troops were annihilated in seconds.  
  
"Yeah! Don't fuck with Tokyo-3!" Asuka shouted, stomping another few   
tanks into the ground. "You got that?!"  
  
"Sohyruu," came a calm voice over her radio. Asuka recognized it as   
that new kid, Nagisa.  
  
"What?" Asuka grunted out.  
  
"Tokyo-3 can hold off the troops on its own, now. Home in on my   
position and prepare for Eva-to-Eva combat."  
  
"What? I..."  
  
"Just do it, before you run out of power."  
  
Asuka checked her meter, noticing she only had 43 seconds left. She   
took off, towards Nagisa's location, which was marked on her Eva's   
display. She got there with ten seconds to spare, jumping up onto the   
hill Unit-03 had deployed on.  
  
"Take this," Nagisa ordered, as Unit-03 threw her a spare umbilical   
connection. Asuka plugged in without hesistation, grinning toothily as   
her "time remaining" display switched from 00:07 to 99:99.  
  
"And take these," he said, throwing her a pair of rocket launchers like   
the ones she'd used on the Fourteenth Angel. As Asuka armed the   
weapons, Unit-03 lumbered over to the weapons building it had been   
standing in front of and shouldered a portable positron rifle, like the   
one Asuka had tried to use on the Fifteenth Angel.  
  
"Alright, ready," Asuka said. "But who put _you_ in charge, rookie?"  
  
"We'll discuss it later," Nagisa replied. Unit-03 looked up at the   
sky. "Ah. Here they come."  
  
Asuka followed Unit-03's line of vision, eventually seeing what he was   
looking at. Nine black planes were circling. As they did so, their   
enormous bomb bay doors opened, and nine white, humanoid shapes tumbled   
out.  
  
"Those things...they're Evas?" Asuka asked, as the white shapes   
sprouted feathery wings and took control of their descents.  
  
"Yes," came the reply. "You needn't worry about human losses, however.   
Tac-comm says the Evas are using the Dummy plug system." As he said   
this, Nagisa took careful aim at one of the shapes. As soon as his   
computer locked on, he fired.  
  
The recoil from the positron blast was enough to tilt Unit-03 slightly   
backwards. The blue beam of energy lanced out, making a beeline   
towards one of the white Evas...  
  
...only to miss as the Eva dodged out of the way.  
  
"Damn, they're fast," Asuka remarked, as the white Evas started   
swooping in towards her and Nagisa. "Ugly, too," she added, as she got   
a better look at them. Although the Evas' bodies resembled those of   
humans, their heads were elongated, having the appearance of being   
massive, smiling mouths.  
  
"The Eva mass-production series has finally been completed," Kaoru   
commented. "But why send all of them in at once?"  
  
"Who cares? _Shoot_ the damn things!"  
  
"We need to destroy them all, Sohryuu," Nagisa said, taking another   
shot.  
  
"Yeah, well, you could try _hitting_ them!" Asuka shot back, as she saw   
Nagisa's target dodge once again. She waited for one of the Evas to   
get within range, then she fired a rocket at it. Since the Eva was now   
closer, it had less time to dodge, and so took a glancing hit from   
Asuka's rocket. One of its wings broke, and it tumbled out of control,   
eventually crash-landing several hundred meters behind them.  
  
Kaoru and Asuka both opened fire, lighting up the skies with positron   
blasts and missile exhaust. Three-quarters of the time, the white Evas   
just turned sharply and dodged the hit. However, they didn't come out   
unharmed. Asuka got lucky and took down two at once, with a shot from   
each rocket launcher. One of Kaoru's shots clipped off an arm,   
destroying the wing behind it. In a matter of minutes, all the mass-  
production Evas were down, either from damage or by landing to get out   
of the line of fire.  
  
Then all of them, even the ones that had crashed, began to move again.   
Their wings retracted into their backs, disappearing into a backpack-  
like device. The grotesque machines came at them, roaring their   
defiance. The one that was missing an arm picked up the appendage and   
put it back in its place. The flesh knit back together, and the arm   
was again attached.  
  
Asuka took aim at the nearest one and blew its head off with her   
second-to-last rocket. "What the hell?!" she shouted, as the headless   
Eva got up and turned to face her, seemingly oblivious to its wound.   
Even as she watched, tendrils of flesh extended from the bloody stump   
of its neck, slowly flowing together into what Asuka could already tell   
would be a new head.  
  
"They must have the S2 organ," Nagisa remarked. "They're just like   
Angels. You need to destroy the S2, or they keep coming back." He   
fired his last round, which only succeded in disintegrating an Eva's   
hand. He threw the empty positron rifle to the ground and took a   
combat stance.  
  
"Smash the core, huh?" Asuka asked, checking her remaining ammo. She   
jumped down to the ground, determined to get the first kill. At first,   
it looked like it was going to be four-on-one, but then several of the   
Evas spread their wings and flew up to the crest of the hill to engage   
Unit-03. Asuka was left staring at the Eva Kaoru had just hit, with   
the remaining enemy mecha too far away to engage at the moment.  
  
The Eva in front of her bared its teeth and charged, brandishing a huge   
weapon that looked like a flat, edged spear.  
  
Asuka ran up to it and knocked the Eva's attack aside with a well-  
placed kick. She then rammed her rocket launcher into the thing's   
still-gaping mouth and down its throat.  
  
"Eat this!" she yelled, pulling the trigger. The weapon discharged,   
putting a rocket right into the mecha's guts. Asuka backed off,   
watching as the white Eva spat out fire from the missile's fuel. It's   
torso expanded, then burst, spewing flames and innards everywhere.   
What remained of the Eva stumbled backwards.  
  
And then...regained its balance.  
  
"You have _got_ to be kidding me," Asuka said, dropping the empty   
rocket launchers. She watched the machine, which was now little more   
than a pair of legs connected to a shredded torso, try to come at her   
again. Unfortunately, she could also see that it was already healing.  
  
Asuka glanced at her Eva's shoulder baffle, which opened and deployed   
the Progressive knife. She drew the knife and, before it had even   
finished heating up, jumped onto the tortured white Eva and rammed her   
weapon into its now-exposed S2 engine.  
  
She pulled the knife downwards, cutting a long gash into the red orb.   
The white Eva shuddered, trying to defend itself and failing miserably.   
Asuka screamed in fury, as she continued pulling downwards. Blood   
sprayed out into a fountain, as though it had been kept inside under   
pressure.  
  
All of a sudden, her Eva's arm jerked backwards. Asuka looked back at   
her hand, seeing just a knife hilt. She looked back at the enemy Eva,   
noticing the broken knife blade embedded in its core.  
  
Asuka swore and looked around for a way to finish it off. But luck was   
with her, this time. The damaged S2 engine flexed, as a wave went   
across its surface. Finally, the organ exploded, covering Asuka's Eva   
with a spray of blood. The white Unit finally fell still.  
  
"One down!" Asuka shouted.  
  
"Keep going!" Nagisa replied. "I'm engaged with four of them up here!"  
  
Asuka nodded and threw her useless knife aside. She got to her feet,   
and turned. She immediately saw that the other four had caught up now,   
and were coming at her. They growled.  
  
Asuka growled back. Then she charged.  
  
She tackled the nearest one and landed a punch to its face, crushing   
its skull. The Eva grabbed her arms and threw her off, standing up as   
its cranium regenerated. Asuka backed off, turning to kick another Eva   
in the gut. It stumbled backwards, but quickly caught itself and began   
coming forwards again.  
  
Deciding she needed something stronger, she ran over to the Eva she'd   
killed, and pried the spear out of its fingers. Swinging her newly-  
aquired weapon to get the feel for its weight, she turned to face her   
attackers. Three of them were backing off to reassess the situation,   
while the fourth remained to keep her busy. ^Have to do this before   
the others can react,^ she thought.  
  
Unit-02 flexed its legs and jumped into the air, its power umbilical   
trailing out behind it. She brought her spear down in a two-handed   
overhead strike that would have split a building in half.  
  
The Eva she attacked raised its own spear, holding it steady with both   
hands as Asuka hit it. A loud CLANG resounding across the landscape,   
but neither weapon broke. Asuka fought for balance as her feet hit the   
ground. She grunted, feeling her Eva strain to bring the heavy weapon   
around to one side. At the same time, the white Eva moved its own   
spear to the side, in imitation of Asuka.   
  
The sheer weight of the weapons slowed them to the point that it looked   
as though they were fighting in slow motion. Asuka had never prayed   
before, but she found she was praying now, for just a _little_ more   
speed.  
  
The two Evas swung their spears at each other in horizontal arcs.   
Asuka watched the incoming weapon and adjusted her angle of attack,   
forcing her weapon upwards by a few degrees as they finally hit.  
  
Another CLANG sounded. However, Asuka had calculated the angle   
correctly; she won the contest of strength, reversing the direction of   
the white Eva's attack and tearing the spear out of one of its hands.   
Its other arm hung on desperately, but the momentum carried the spear   
back too far. While the enemy Unit struggled to bring its weapon up   
with just one hand, Asuka took control of her own spear and rammed it   
forwards, tip-first.   
  
The Eva brought its free arm up, choosing to take the hit instead of   
dodging. This proved to be a fatal mistake. The sheer force of the   
blow was too much; the spear went through the arm, through the Unit's   
chest armor, and out its back. Asuka twisted, watching as a gout of   
blood from its S2 engine burst out of the wound. She released her   
grip, letting the impaled Eva tumble to the ground. It didn't get back   
up.  
  
Unfortunately, while she'd been struggling with this one, the other   
three Evas had moved into an attack formation. One of them grabbed her   
from behind. Asuka immediately hit the trigger for the emergency spike   
launcher, putting a half-dozen long metal spikes through the Eva's   
head. Unfazed, the Unit latched onto her right arm, while another one   
grabbed her left. As they held her down, the third Eva chucked its   
spear at her.  
  
Asuka raised her AT field to block the blow. But, as she watched with   
horror, the spear morphed, twisting into a two-pronged lance she'd only   
seen once before.  
  
"Lancea Longinus..." she said to herself, as the lance tore through her   
AT field and buried itself into Unit-02's head.  
  
Asuka screamed.  
  
***  
  
Kaoru flinched as he heard Asuka's scream. He slashed at the Eva in   
front of him with the Progressive claw, cutting its jaw in five places.   
He then jumped backwards, out of the reach of the thing's spear. His   
eyes narrowed, and Unit-03's arm stretched over the increased distance,   
towards the Eva's chest. Unfortunately, it was blocked as the Eva put   
up an AT field.  
  
Annoyed, Kaoru turned and lashed out at the Eva that had tried to come   
up behind him. He then jumped down, landing not far from Unit-02. The   
three Evas Asuka had not killed had crowded together over the red   
mecha. They had been in the process of devouring it, an action that   
filled Kaoru's comm lines with female screams of agony.  
  
Kaoru sent a message to Central Dogma to cut Asuka's neural connection,   
then he engaged. Unit-03's arms whipped out, grabbing two of the mass-  
production Evas from several hundred meters away. He slung them off of   
Unit-02, using the increased leverage of his Eva's long arms to send   
the Units flying. The third Eva, seeing its allies were no longer   
present, turned to face its newest attacker. As Kaoru closed the   
distance, the enemy Unit threw its spear away and tackled him, pinning   
Unit-03's arms to the ground. Kaoru looked up at its grinning face.  
  
Unit-03 _bit_ into the white Eva's neck. His enemy roared, bringing up   
its arms to try and tear Unit-03 off, as hot blood poured out of the   
wound. Unit-03, now with its arms free, rammed its Progressive claw   
through the Eva's chest.  
  
Kaoru twisted his hand, feeling the the S2 organ flex inwards as it met   
the knives on his Eva's hand. The enemy Eva growled, bringing its   
hands down to grip onto Unit-03's neck. Kaoru felt the fingers digging   
into his throat, but didn't flinch. He got a grip and squeezed,   
feeling the S2 cave in underneath the assault. The Eva on top of him   
went limp. Kaoru got Unit-03's legs underneath the now-dead Eva, and   
kicked it off.  
  
He looked up in time to see that remaining six Evas had taken to the   
skies and were circling above them, like vultures. It was the last   
thing he saw before six lances came down, spearing his Eva to the   
ground.  
  
Kaoru gasped, then looked down at the huge copy of the Lancea Longinus   
sticking out of his torso. Not the Eva's torso. _His_ torso. One of   
the lances had torn through armor, flesh, and metal, going right into   
the entry plug.  
  
His vision dimmed. "Thank you, Shinji..." he said, smiling through the   
pain. "My life was meaningful because of you."  
  
At that, he closed his eyes, and fell still. The six remaining Evas   
roared in triumph.  
  
***  
  
Shortly after Unit-03 had launched, Gendo made it down to Terminal   
Dogma. Rei had fought him the entire way, but he was stronger than she   
was, and had been able to restrain her. Now, they were almost at   
Heaven's Gate.  
  
He slid his ID card through the slot, and the huge doors opened,   
revealing the crucified form of Lillith beyond. Also standing in their   
way was Dr. Ritsuko Akagi.  
  
Ritsuko had her pistol out, and trained it on Gendo's forehead. Gendo,   
not flinching in the least, took aim with his own gun.  
  
"Don't even think about it," Ritsuko said, holding up her free hand.   
In it was a remote control, with several glowing red lights on it.  
  
"It's a dead-man switch," Ritsuko said, calmly. "All I have to do is   
drop this, and the MAGI will self-destruct."  
  
Gendo hesitated.  
  
"What are you going to do with her, anyway?" Ritsuko asked,   
skeptically. "She's not the perfect Angel you need. She's _human_,   
Gendo."  
  
"Her soul is still from Lillith. That's all we really need."  
  
Ritsuko shook her head. "Are you really that obsessed, Gendo?" she   
asked. "Is it really so important that you find your Yui again? So   
important that you'd kill a little girl, along with the rest of the   
world?"  
  
Gendo's eyes narrowed behind his glasses. "You are one to speak.   
You're the reason I need to use an this one instead of one of the other   
clones," he said, pulling Rei in front of him.  
  
Ritsuko snorted. "Yes, I did that. But those were just _things,_   
Gendo. Soulless dolls that I destroyed so you couldn't use them.   
You're intent on destroying _her,_ a living girl," Ritsuko said,   
pointing at the still-restrained Rei Gendo was holding. "You have no   
idea how much she's developed," Ritsuko said. "She's the only Rei   
that...I'm proud of."  
  
Rei stopped struggling, and looked at Ritsuko, as though seeing her for   
the first time.  
  
"She's a tool and I intend to use her as such," Gendo said. He fired.  
  
Ritsuko took the bullet in the chest, and fell over backwards. She   
dropped the remote control. It hit the ground, right in front of   
Ritsuko's face, and 'beeped'.  
  
No explosion came.  
  
Ritsuko tried to keep breathing, despite the fact that she could feel   
her life flowing out of her. She read the display of the remote,   
stating that one of the MAGI had overriden the self-destruct.  
  
"Caspar..." she gasped out. "Mother...you'd betray your daughter for   
your man?"  
  
"She always did love me more," Gendo said coldly, stepping by the dying   
woman. "You think I didn't know that?"  
  
"Shinji..." Rei whispered to herself.  
  
***  
  
Shinji looked up, as he heard a voice.  
  
"Rei?" he asked the air. "Rei, where are you?"  
  
No response came.  
  
An ominous feeling settled into the pit of Shinji's stomach. He stood   
up again and looked at Unit-01. "Let me in!" he shouted in   
desperation. "I know you can hear me! GODDAMMIT, LET ME _IN!_"  
  
A groaning noise came from the bakelite. Shinji looked down in time to   
see the crystal shatter. Unit-01's huge arm tore free of its prison,   
and grabbed onto the wall next to Shinji. Using this grip as leverage,   
the Eva turned itself around, shattering the rest of the bakelite as it   
knelt down. Simultaneously, the back armor plate of Unit-01 slid up,   
deploying the entry plug. As the Eva knelt down, it was oriented   
correctly that the plug lined up with Shinji. The boy set his jaw and   
jumped up, grabbing onto the edge of the entry plug and struggling   
inside. As soon as he was inside, the plug retracted, as though of its   
own accord. Shinji powered up the Eva.  
  
"Let's go save Rei...mom," he said.  
  
***  
  
Gendo turned Rei around roughly, and grabbed at her shirt. He ripped   
it open with one motion, as the girl gasped in surprise. Finally, he   
pulled off his right glove.  
  
"I have Adam with me," he said, showing her his palm. True enough, Rei   
could just see the egg-like construct, now buried into Gendo's hand.   
"It's time for you to lead me back to Yui," he said to Rei. Holding   
her still with his left arm, he placed his right hand on her breast.  
  
Rei cried out as Gendo's hand sank into her. She tried to pull him out   
of her chest, but to no avail. Adam had already bonded them together.   
The girl shuddered as Gendo's hand slowly moved downwards, finally   
stopping at her abdomen. Rei felt power begin flowing through her   
body, and watched in horror as her skin began to glow.  
  
A gunshot rang out in Heaven's Gate. The bullet tore through flesh and   
bone, blasting Gendo's hand off at the wrist. Gendo grunted with the   
pain, watching as the remains of his hand sank into Rei. He turned   
towards where the shot had come from.  
  
Ritsuko's hand went limp, and she dropped her gun. With the last of   
her strength, she looked Rei in the eyes.   
  
"I'm sorry," she mouthed, finally saying what she'd been trying so hard   
to tell Rei.  
  
With that, she went limp, her eyes staring lifelessly.  
  
In a fit of anger, Gendo pulled out his sidearm and emptied the clip   
into Ritsuko's already-dead body. He then turned back to Rei, just in   
time to see her floating up off the ground, towards Lillith.  
  
"No...Rei, come back!" he shouted. "You're supposed to take me to   
Yui!"  
  
Rei definitely _wanted_ to go back, but currently, she had no control.   
Her body was being pulled towards the crucified Angel in front of her.   
A wind picked up in Heaven's Gate, whipping at her clothes and hair.   
Slowly, she approached the massive figure. She was too scared to even   
scream.  
  
As she neared the white monstrosity, a thunderous crash erupted at the   
entrance to Heaven's Gate. Unit-01 powered in, its footsteps shaking   
the walls.  
  
"Shinji!" Rei called out. Unit-01 turned towards her and sped up,   
covering the distance.  
  
"Welcome home," came a voice in Rei's mind. The girl turned to face   
Lillith, in time to see the white flesh reaching outwards for her. Rei   
screamed.  
  
With one last stride, Unit-01 made it to Rei. It's purple hand reached   
out and grabbed onto Rei at the same time as Lillith's flesh surrounded   
the girl, encasing her - and Unit-01's fist - into a cocoon, which was   
pulled back into Lillith herself.  
  
"No!" Shinji's voice called out over the loudspeakers. "No! REI!"  
  
Unit-01's free hand started pounding on Lillith's chest. "Let her go!   
Shinji yelled, his voice hysterical. "You useless goddamn piece of   
SHIT! LET HER _GO!_"  
  
As Unit-01's fist impacted with Lillith again, it stuck, as though to   
glue. Shinji tried to pull it away, but saw that Unit-01's arm was   
getting sucked into the Angel. He looked at his other hand, the hand   
he'd tried to grab Rei with. The same thing was happening over there;   
it had already been drawn in up to the elbow. Shinji's eyes went wide.  
  
Suddenly, Lillith's body exploded outwards, surrounding Unit-01 like a   
web and pulling it in. Shinji was cut off mid-scream as his Eva was   
absorbed entirely into the Angel, leaving no trace that it had even   
been there.  
  
Gendo watched it happen, while holding onto the stump of his arm. Only   
one thought was in his mind: ^That was _not_ supposed to happen.^  
  
***  
  
Shinji blinked, looking around. It looked like he was in a cloud;   
misty gray and white swaths undulated around him, never taking a real   
shape.  
  
^What happened?^ Shinji thought. It didn't look like he was in Unit-  
01, or Terminal Dogma. That white Angel had pulled him in...but how   
had he ended up here?  
  
Shinji had no time to figure out just where he was. He just hoped this   
was real, and not a dream. He didn't have time to dream, right now.  
  
"Rei?" he called out. He tried to walk, but found that there was no   
ground under his feet. If he was moving, he didn't feel any air   
blowing by him, and the gray clouds around him were too erratic to tell   
anything from.  
  
"Rei!" he called out, again. He had to find her. He _needed_ to find   
her. If he could just do that, then maybe they'd find a way out of   
this.  
  
"Shinji," came a voice behind him.  
  
Shinji turned to face the source of the voice. He soon found himself   
looking at someone who bore a striking similarity to Rei, but who   
looked older, and with brown hair instead of blue. She looked quite   
familiar...  
  
"M...mother?" Shinji asked her.  
  
"Yes, my son," Yui said, coming forwards. She took Shinji up in her   
arms and held him close. "It's me. I hope you can forgive me, son."  
  
"F-for what?" he asked.  
  
"For Third Impact." As she said this, a wind picked up, blowing the   
gray clouds aside and leaving Shinji and Yui floating in blackness.   
Shinji turned to see the white Angel from Terminal Dogma floating there   
next to them. A glowing form that resembled an Eva appeared next to   
the Angel. The two massive forms came together, merging into an   
undefinable light.  
  
"Adam has been joined with Lillith, just as we'd hoped," Yui said,   
maintaining her hold on Shinji but letting him watch. "Though we   
didn't think you'd come into play this early. But now...humanity will   
be complete."  
  
"Wh-what?" Shinji asked, his mind not quite able to grasp all of this   
at once.  
  
The view shifted again, until Shinji and Yui were floating in an ocean   
of orange fluid. Shinji recognized it immediately as LCL.  
  
"This is the sea of LCL," Yui said. "Soon this is what the world will   
be like. Everyone will be one."  
  
Shinji looked around, dumbfounded. _This_ was Third Impact? The end   
of the world?  
  
"People no longer have to fear being harmed, and no longer have to feel   
alone," Yui continued. "The AT fields that keep their hearts from each   
other will be brought down."  
  
^Never lonely again...^ Shinji thought about the prospect. ^Yeah,   
you're body would be goop, but your mind...would never alone again?^  
  
^I have never known what it is like to be lonely...^ Shinji heard Rei's   
voice in his mind. That memory reminded him of what he'd come here   
for. He blinked once, and then moved forwards, pulling out of Yui's   
grip.  
  
"Shinji?" Yui asked, surprised. "Where are you going?"  
  
"You want this?" Shinji asked, whirling on his mother. "Are you really   
that...that..._cowardly?_ Taking the easy way out by melting everyone   
together?"  
  
"Shinji, this is humanity's destiny."  
  
"No!" Shinji shouted, making a cutting motion with his hand. "I won't   
believe it. People might be happy, but they won't be themselves,   
either, mother. It would only be an illusion, that they no longer have   
any personal thoughts."  
  
"That is the point, Shinji. Privacy blocks others out, and keeps your   
heart from others."  
  
"I don't care!" Shinji shouted. "As much as you don't like it, you   
_need_ some space you can call your own. And look at it!" he said,   
gesturing to the LCL. "People might be happy, but it would be fake!   
They would be nothing but some..._shit_ that even the bugs are better   
than! It wouldn't be real!"  
  
"Shinji..." Yui said, backing off a little.  
  
"I've finally found something worth piloting for, and you want to take   
it away by melting everyone down? No, I won't accept it!" Shinji said,   
turning his back on Yui. "Rei!" he called out, swimming through the   
LCL. ^She's got to be here, somewhere,^ he thought.  
  
Yui blinked, watching her son leave her behind. After a long while,   
she nodded, closed her eyes, and vanished from sight.  
  
As she vanished, the world she'd shown to Shinji vanished, as well.  
  
***  
  
Gendo looked up as Lillith began to move. The Angel leaned forwards,   
its hands flowing off of the bolts that had been securing it. Lillith   
fell into the LCl, and stood to her full height.  
  
And then...she looked down at Gendo.  
  
"Gendo..." came a voice in the Commander's mind. He recognized it   
immediately.  
  
"Yui?" he asked Lillith.  
  
"Yes, Gendo, it's me. It appears we've finally succeeded."  
  
"Yes, Yui," Gendo said, his injury forgotten.  
  
"But I ask you...is it worth this much pain?"  
  
Gendo hesitated. "What?" he asked.  
  
"Our son. I know what you've done to him, Gendo. Him, Rei, and   
everyone else you've used. All this time, I have been protecting him.   
What have _you_ been doing?"  
  
"But...it was what needed to be done. Third Impact will atone for my   
sins."  
  
Lillith spasmed, as though in pain. "Gendo," came Yui's voice, as calm   
as ever. "I've thought the same way, through all the years. That a   
little pain was admissible, if it meant Third Impact in the end.   
But...our son...he doesn't want it to happen."  
  
"He doesn't know all the facts, Yui!"  
  
"I believe he knows enough. I can feel him. He's trying so hard to   
find that girl. She is not your doll anymore, Gendo. And if we cause   
Third Impact, he will be separated from her."  
  
"No! Everyone will be united!"  
  
"And the individuality, the thing my son loves about this girl...will   
be gone."  
  
Boils appeared on Lillith's skin. "So I ask you..." Yui said. "Have   
you ever..."  
  
Some of the boils broke. Purple armor glinted underneath.  
  
"Thought that maybe..."  
  
Lillith's flesh began to flow off, like melting ice.  
  
"Just maybe..."  
  
Lillith's arms came up as though embracing something. As they did so,   
the skin melted off, revealing Unit-01's arms underneath.  
  
"We might...be wrong?"  
  
Lillith evaporated entirely. Standing where the Angel had been was   
Unit-01, which, bizarrely enough, was wearing the seven-eyed mask that   
had been covering Lillith's face.  
  
Gendo was stunned. "Yui?" he asked. There was no response. "_Yui?!_   
No! This isn't supposed to happen!"  
  
Unit-01 opened its mouth and roared. As it did so, the mask fell off   
of its face, and towards the ground. Directly towards Gendo.  
  
Gendo looked up as the multi-ton mask came down on him. "I   
understand..." he whispered.  
  
Those were his last words, before the mask landed on him, flattening   
him into red paste.  
  
Unit-01's eyes glowed brightly. It looked upwards, towards the   
battlefield above. It roared again. As it did so, a massive flare of   
energy erupted from the Eva, powering up through every layer of armor   
in one shot and blasting out onto the surface, where it spread into the   
shape of a cross.  
  
Huge "wings" of pure energy, which the world had only seen once before,   
expanded out of the Eva's back. Unit-01 rose upwards, floating up   
through the tunnel it had made, heading for the surface outside.  
  
As its feet touched the ground, its eyes stopped glowing, and its pilot   
finally became conscious.  
  
***  
  
Shinji blinked as he awoke. It looked like he was in Unit-01's   
cockpit. He had only one question on his mind.  
  
"What the hell just happened?" he asked aloud.  
  
A moaning sound grabbed his attention. He turned around in his seat.  
  
"Rei?" he asked, seeing the girl floating in the LCL behind him. "Is   
that you?"  
  
"I..." the girl tried to say. She trailed off, though, as her   
attention attention shifted to the viewscreens. Shinji turned to see   
what had caught her attention.  
  
He saw nothing but chaos. The ground had been churned into slush by   
its huge combatants, five of which lay prostrated at the foot of a   
hill. Shinji recognized two of them instantly: Units 02 and 03.  
  
"Asuka..." Shinji mumbled, looking at Unit-02. The red Eva was half-  
eaten, with its guts hanging out everywhere. "Kaoru..." he said,   
looking at Unit-03. The black Eva was more or less in one piece, but   
it had been impaled multiple times.  
  
Even as he watched, the surviving mass-production Evas landed near   
Unit-03 and pulled their lances out of its still form. Holding their   
weapons up triumphantly, they spread their wings and took the skies   
once more.  
  
***  
  
Unit-03's soul was in torment.  
  
It had felt the pain of being speared, of being stuck to the ground   
like a piece of meat. It had been nearly unbearable. But the worst   
part of all had been feeling its pilot die. Just as the pilot felt the   
Eva's pain, the Eva felt its pilot's pain.  
  
It could sense that its pilot was not like its last controller. The   
boy had synchronized with the Eva as though they were already one   
being. Unit-03 hadn't known how, but it hadn't cared, either; it had   
been able to fight, and that was all that had mattered.  
  
But now the boy was gone. There had to be something that could be   
done, but Unit-03 did not know what it was.  
  
Unit-03 screamed silently as it felt the long pointy things get pulled   
out of it. It needed to fight back! It needed to defend itself!  
  
But to do that, Unit-03 needed a pilot to synchronize with...  
  
Then, Unit-03 felt it: that the boy was made of the same material as   
the Eva itself was. Unit-03 probed into its pilot's dead mind. It   
felt that the boy even had an artificial soul, just like the Eva.  
  
Unit-03's soul came to a dim understanding of why this pilot had been   
able to synchronize so easily. And it reasoned out a solution to its   
current situation.  
  
It reached out, the metal of the entry plug flowing as though made of   
liquid. It touched the boy's body, and absorbed him, taking him into   
the Eva itself. As soon as the absorption was complete, it felt the   
presence of the boy inside of it. Just a little prodding re-awakened   
the soul. Now it was no longer defenseless. It re-synchronized, its   
pilot's soul accepting the link.  
  
Unit-03 was, once again, alive.  
  
***  
  
Shinji watched, sickened, as the destroyed Unit-03 began to move. Its   
arms moved slowly, dumbly, before beginning to pick itself up off the   
ground. Its wounds from the spears reopened as it stood. Unit-03   
seemed oblivious to the blood that poured down its form, as well as the   
massive amounts of pain it must be feeling.  
  
Shinji locked up. He couldn't believe that the Eva was still moving.   
It was like watching a corpse moving. Was it going berserk? Unable to   
figure out the answers, he just stood there, staring at the black   
mecha.  
  
His attention was drawn to a long object coming from the sky. He   
recognized it as the Lancea Longinus. Hadn't that been sent into   
orbit?  
  
Dumbstruck, he watched the Lance come down at impossible speed,   
clearing the distance to Unit-01 in the space of a heartbeat. The   
Lancea stopped short, though, mere centimeters in front of Unit-01's   
face. Shinji stared at it, his mind unable to take all of this in at   
once.  
  
"Shinji!" Rei shouted out.  
  
Shinji snapped out of it. He turned his head, seeing two of the white   
Evas swooping down, their lances aimed for Unit-01's hands.  
  
Shinji developed a tic under one eye. These..._things_ were the ones   
that had destroyed Units 02 and 03. These monstrosities had killed his   
friends. They were to blame for all this!  
  
Shinji didn't notice that he was screaming. He didn't even notice that   
he'd grabbed the Lancea. But he _did_ notice that he charged one of   
the white Evas. The Lancea passed through the enemy Eva's AT field as   
though it weren't even there, going right into its chest.  
  
Shinji kept screaming, pushing forwards so hard that the enemy in front   
of him shattered under the momentum. He turned towards the other white   
Eva, which was turning to engage him from the side.  
  
"DIIIIE!!" he yelled, swinging the Lancea Longinus as though it were an   
axe. The enemy was cut into two halves by the blow.  
  
While this was happening, Unit-03 regained its footing. Slowly, as   
though in a daze, it moved forwards, grabbing onto one of the dead   
mass-production Evas. It got a grip on the mecha's "backpack", and   
pulled. Flesh and bone gave way, as the pack tore away. Unit-03   
placed the pack onto its _own_ back. Armor flowed, assimilating the   
new addition. The backpack turned black as it became one with Unit-03.   
The Eva shuddered, then stood up straight once more.  
  
Units 01 and 03 simultaneously deployed wings. Unit-01 used the energy   
wings that had brought it to the surface, while Unit-03 used the more   
conventional white, feathery wings of the mass-production Evas. They   
both took to the skies.  
  
Shinji didn't know how this was happening. He knew Unit-01 was   
definitely _not_ able to fly. But he didn't care, either. He opened   
himself fully, synchronizing with Unit-01 to the point that he could no   
longer tell himself from the Eva. As he did this, he felt Rei's   
presence, as well. The girl was doing the same thing he was: opening   
her heart and linking her mind to the Eva's.  
  
Another time, Shinji might have been surprised that Unit-01, the most   
picky of the Evas about who piloted it, was even allowing Rei to   
synchronize. At this moment, however, he was focused entirely on the   
battle in front of him.  
  
His and Rei's minds were in perfect synch with each other and with   
Unit-01. They knew what had to be done. Very little thought went   
through either of their minds. They only knew that the enemy Evas had   
to be destroyed.  
  
The purple and black Evas split up, breaking in opposite directions.   
Unit-01 engaged two of the enemy Evas, batting one away as though it   
were a fly, then swooping around to charge the other. This Eva dodged,   
using its supernatural speed to get out of the way. It rolled   
gracefully and dropped towards the ground. However, Unit-01 was able   
to turn harder and dive faster. The white Eva was caught before it   
could react.  
  
Using the Lancea, Unit-01 impaled its enemy. Shinji/Rei pushed harder,   
puncturing the S2 unit, before ripping the Lancea out and turning to   
face its next enemy.  
  
The other mass production Eva was diving in, spear at the ready.   
Shinji/Rei blocked it with their own Lance. Both Evas flew away from   
each other, then turned and charged again. Again, they met in midair,   
Lancea meeting lance. The enemy Eva pulled back, then came down on   
Unit-01 with a crushing sweep. Unit-01 blocked once more. This time,   
the stronger Lancea shattered the weapon of the enemy Eva. The white   
mecha, realizing it had been disarmed, turned and dove downwards, out   
of Unit-01's immediate reach. Shinji/Rei did not hesitate to take aim   
and throw the Lancea. The white Eva was speared, the Lancea going into   
its back and coming out its front. The Eva died in mid-air and fell,   
eventually crash-landing below. Shinji/Rei turned to face the   
remaining two Evas, which were at an even higher altitude.   
  
Unit-03 had been keeping them busy as Unit-01 had been fighting. Even   
as Shinji/Rei watched, one of the Evas slowed down to try and reassess   
the situation. This was its last move, as Unit-03 came in from above   
it and rammed it from behind the Progressive claw. In a heartbeat,   
half of the white Eva's torso was ripped off, leaving a gaping hole   
where the S2 used to be.   
  
But as Unit-03 swooped away from that enemy, the other Eva came up from   
below. Shinji/Rei called out to try and warn Unit-03, but it was too   
late. The enemy Unit shot upwards with incredible speed, putting its   
lance through Unit-03 and leaving it there. As the black Eva shuddered   
in pain, the white one flew up, grabbed Unit-03's recently-aquired   
wings, and crushed them with its bare hands.  
  
Unit-03 fell from the sky, its broken wings flapping uselessly.   
Shinji/Rei closed their eyes as the black Eva hit the ground. When   
they looked, they saw that Unit-03 was motionless and limp. They   
looked up at their last enemy, the one who dared kill their ally.  
  
The white Eva dove for the ground, with Unit-01 following close behind.   
They flew in so low that they brushed the tops of trees. The white Eva   
turned suddenly, leaving Unit-01 to shoot by. As Unit-01 regained   
control and turned around, the last remaining Eva landed on its feet,   
its wings retracting. It had calculated its landing position so that   
it landed near where one of the other mass-production Evas had fallen.   
This particular one had the original Lancea Longinus sitting in the   
ground near it. The white Eva picked up the Lancea, opened its huge   
mouth, and hissed at Unit-01.  
  
Unit-01 touched down not far from the enemy. Shinji/Rei eyed the white   
mecha carefully, circling it. The other Eva circled in the same   
direction, keeping the distance constant. Finally, Shinji/Rei deployed   
the Progressive knife, and charged.  
  
Shinji/Rei used their weapon's small size and light weight to shift   
their attack position constantly, keeping their enemy on its toes.   
However, the other Eva's weapon, though unwieldy, was also much larger.   
Shinji/Rei couldn't get past its defense, and their striked deflected   
uselessly off the Lancea.   
  
The enemy Unit swept at Unit-01's legs. Shinji/Rei jumped,   
successfully clearing a blow that would have easily taken both of Unit-  
01's legs right off.  
  
The white Eva, having put all its force into that one strike,   
overbalanced and stumbled. Shinji/Rei took their chance and rammed the   
Progressive knife into the enemy Eva's head, right up to the hilt. The   
Eva stumbled, but then...grinned. It didn't even feel the pain.   
Leaving the knife in its head, it whipped the Lancea around with as-yet   
unheard of speed, and brought it down on its opponent. The weapon cut   
deeply into Unit-01's shoulder. Shinji/Rei screamed in pain.  
  
But the pain also focused them. Unit-01's eyes glowed, shifting from   
yellow to blood red. It grabbed the Lancea, and pulled it out of the   
enemy Eva's hands. It threw the weapon away as though it weighed no   
more than a toothpick. It finished by kicking its opponent in the   
stomach.  
  
The enemy Eva stumbled backwards, tripping and falling onto its back.   
Unit-01 pounced, pinning the Unit to the ground. It yanked the   
Progressive knife out of the white Eva's skull, and then rammed it   
downwards so hard that it left a crater in the Eva's chest.  
  
The enemy Eva grinned again. It's S2 had taken a glancing hit from the   
blow, but not enough to kill it. But it knew that the end was near.   
Its computerized mind made the most logical choice.  
  
The last mass-production Evangelion exploded under Shinji/Rei, erupting   
into raw nuclear fury as its S2 went critical. Unit-01 vanished   
entirely within the flash.  
  
As the smoke and flames cleared, observers from Tokyo-3 and from the UN   
position could see Unit-01 slowly walking away from the battle. Much   
of its armor had been stripped off, but even as they watched, the   
purple plating grew back. Unit-01 tilted its head back and roared.  
  
Tokyo-3's defender's cheered.  
  
The remaining UN troops broke and ran for their lives.  
  
It was over.  
  
***  
  
Shinji groaned as consciousness returned. He didn't want to get up.   
He was tired, and he wanted to sleep. He didn't want to think about   
fighting Evas, and all the blood. He didn't want to think about Rei   
getting absorbed -   
  
Rei.  
  
Getting absorbed.  
  
And then...  
  
Shinji sat up quickly, looking around. He was in the hospital, once   
again. He also became aware of a splitting headache.  
  
Holding his head with one hand, he looked around. "How did I get   
here?" he muttered to himself. He could rememeber killing that last   
Eva, and then letting out a primal war-cry that had felt surprisingly   
good. And then...he couldn't remember.  
  
He looked over to the side, at the sound of even breathing. There, in   
the bed next to his, was Rei.  
  
Shinji got out of bed, shivering as his feet his the cold metal floor   
of the hospital. He made his way over to Rei, going down on his knees   
as he made it over to her. He took her hand and held it to his face,   
feeling the warmth from her. She was here. She was still alive.  
  
Shinji could feel tears going down his face as he gripped Rei's hand   
even harder. He looked up, though, as he felt her shift and groan.  
  
Rei's eyes opened slowly. She blinked a few times, her face betraying   
nothing. Then she looked down and saw Shinji.  
  
She didn't say anything. She just sat up, as Shinji got to his feet.   
They embraced, holding each other tightly, breathing raggedly and both   
crying.  
  
The door opened, and footsteps came in. Neither of them looked up, at   
first.  
  
"Well, looks like you two have recovered."  
  
Shinji turned around. "Misato-san!" he called out, running over to the   
purple-haired woman and hugging her. "You're alive!"  
  
Misato yelped. "Ouch! Shinji, watch it!"  
  
Shinji pulled away. As he did so, Misato tugged up her shirt,   
revealing the thick bandage over her stomach. "I've gotta be careful   
with that," she told him. "They said I could break it open again if I   
don't watch out."  
  
"Oh...sorry, Misato-san."  
  
"Yeah, don't go killing her right after she was operated on, baka   
Shinji!"  
  
Shinji looked past Misato. "Asuka!" he cried out, running over and   
hugging her, too. "You're alive, too!"  
  
"Of course I'm alive," Asuka said, though at a more controlled volume.   
"Now let go of me before I choke to death, you hentai."  
  
Shinji backed off from the redhead. He walked back over to Rei, and   
sat on her bed.  
  
"How are you two feeling?" Misato asked.  
  
"I've got a headache like you wouldn't believe," Shinji and Rei said,   
simultaneously. They looked at each other, and giggled.  
  
"Well, that's to be expected. You both blasted by your standing   
synchro records. Disconnecting suddenly when you're _that_   
synchronized could hurt."  
  
"Oh," Shinji and Rei said. "So, uh...Misato-san. What happened?"  
  
"What's the last thing you remember?"  
  
"Having that last Eva blow up under me."  
  
Misato nodded. "Well, according to our computers, both of you passed   
out soon after that. But that's to be expected. I mean, you'd both   
been through a lot."  
  
"Not as much as _me,_" Asuka butted in. "Did _you_ get a spear through   
your eye, then get _eaten?_"  
  
Shinji and Rei blinked in unison, then shook their heads slowly.  
  
"...yeah," Misato said. "Nagisa-kun saw it happening and had us   
terminate her link to the Eva. We managed to cut her out before it was   
too late, but we still had to rebuild the optical nerve for her left   
eye." She looked down at Asuka. "We've also been filling her up with   
drugs for the past few days, because she keeps getting nightmares."  
  
"Hey!" Asuka said, glaring back up at Misato. "You didn't have to tell   
them _that!_"  
  
Shinji and Rei both smiled. "And what about us?" they asked. ^Why is   
he/she talking at the same time as me?^ they both thought.  
  
Misato walked over slowly and sat on the bed. "You both had us all on   
edge for a while," she said, her eyes going soft. "Up until a few days   
ago, we didn't know if you'd make it."  
  
Shinji and Rei blinked. "Wh...why?"  
  
"Well, you were both highly synched with the Eva," Misato said,   
carefully reaching out and taking Shinji's hand. "The MAGI register   
your patterns spiking all over the place. We kept seeing the Eva   
absorb both of you, then spit you back out."  
  
Shinji and Rei both shuddered, thinking about what that meant. Misato   
continued.  
  
"Then, your links were cut so quickly, you both lost consciousness.   
The doctors were telling me that maybe you'd fried your brains."  
  
"Oh..." they replied, stroking their foreheads. "Uh...I guess we made   
it, though."  
  
"Yup," Misato replied. "You two had me and Asuka worried sick for a   
while back there."  
  
"Hey! _I_ for one was _not_ worried about those idiots!" a certain   
redhead stated, loudly.  
  
Misato nodded, rolling her eyes as she did so. "Okay, Asuka."  
  
The Major turned back to the pair on the bed. "Anyway, I twisted the   
doctor's arm and got her to release you two early, if you're both   
careful. C'mon," she said, gesturing at the door. "You get dressed,   
and then there's someplace I'd like you to go."  
  
Rei and Shinji looked at each other, then back to Misato. "Okay..."   
they said, again simultaneously.  
  
***  
  
Misato brought them to a small room that had a projector screen on the   
wall.  
  
"Asuka and I have seen this already," Misato said, turning down the   
lights and prepping the tape. "But we still can't quite believe it."  
  
The tape started running. "This is footage from a NERV security cam,"   
Misato added in. "There's more before this, but I fast-forwarded to   
the part you should see."  
  
On the screen, Unit-01 could be seen wrestling with one of the mass-  
production Evas. Shinji and Rei watched, detached, almost unable to   
believe that they'd been piloting that thing. It looked less like a   
mecha and more like a monster straight from hell.  
  
Everyone winced as the white Eva exploded, the flash lighting up the   
darkened room. Finally, the glare receded, and Unit-01 could be seen   
walking away. Unit-01 roared.  
  
"Alright, I remember doing that," Shinji and Rei said. Again, they   
looked at each other, with puzzled looks on their faces. "How long are   
we going to be talking like this?" they asked.  
  
Misato paused the tape. "Probably not for very long. Remember you   
were synching with each other as well as the Eva. Your minds will   
eventually fall out of synch, though." Shini and Rei nodded as one in   
response.  
  
"Anyway," Misato said, "Right about here's where we registered you'd   
both lost consciousness." She hit play again.  
  
As they watched, Unit-01 hunched over, going to one knee and curling   
into a ball. Its shoulder baffles and the other restraining parts of   
its armor broke, flying off its body. Its exposed back plating opened,   
and the familiar white cylinder of an entry plug ejected. The camera   
view traced the plug's arc through the air, to where it parachuted to a   
landing far from the Eva.  
  
The camera then looked back to Unit-01, which had stood up again,   
oblivious to the fact that it no longer had any pilots. It looked to   
the sky, and its wings of energy expanded to their full width.  
  
Unit-01 held out its hand. The Lancea Longinus came in from off-  
screen, as though pulled by a magnet. The Eva grasped the weapon and   
held it tightly as it rose into the air.  
  
Everyone in the room watched, amazed, as Unit-01 flew upwards,   
accelerating and quickly vanishing from sight.  
  
"Mother..." Shinji said to himself. Rei glanced at him, but said   
nothing.  
  
Misato stopped the tape, and brought the lights back up again. "We   
cracked open the plug and found you two holding onto each other, both   
sound asleep," Misato said. "So we brought you here, and...that's   
where you woke up."  
  
Shinji and Rei nodded, still quite shocked.  
  
"C'mon," Misato said, opening the door. "There's one more place you   
need to go."  
  
***  
  
The next place Misato took them was the Eva bays. They walked by   
several of the less-damaged Type 5's, which were apparently being   
salvaged.  
  
They finally stopped as they reached Unit-03. The black mecha stood   
docile in its gantry, staring blankly into space. Any damage it had   
suffered had long since either regenerated or been repaired afterwards.   
Shinji and Rei noticed that it still had that wing-backpack fused into   
its back.  
  
"Here's the other survivor," Misato said, gesturing to the Eva.  
  
Asuka "hmmphed," looking at the machine. Shinji and Rei glanced in her   
direction, puzzled.  
  
Misato laughed a little. "She's just mad about Unit-03 surviving.   
Unit-02 was too far gone after the battle. We had to destroy it."  
  
"Oh..." Shinji and Rei both said. "So...what do you mean, 'the other   
survivor'?"  
  
"We never retrieved Nagisa-kun," Misato said, her voice somber. "We   
looked into the entry plug, and just his empty plugsuit was there."  
  
Shinji and Rei's eyes both went wide as they realized what had   
happened.  
  
"There wasn't any trace of him, not even DNA," Misato said. "The suit   
had a huge hole in the chest, but no blood. It looks like Nagisa-kun   
had the same thing happen to him as you, Shinji."  
  
"C...can you get him out?" Shinji and Rei asked, nervous.  
  
Misato shook her head. "I said we couldn't find any trace of him. The   
Eva has absorbed him completely, Shinji. We can't even find his soul   
in the plug."  
  
Shinji nodded slowly, unable to respond otherwise.  
  
"I'll...leave you alone for a minute," Misato said, stepping back.   
"Come on, Asuka."  
  
Asuka, mumbling to herself in German, followed. Rei looked like she   
was about to go after them, but then changed her mind and remained next   
to Shinji. After a moment, she took his hand and squeezed it. Shinji   
looked up at her and smiled. Then, he looked to Unit-03.  
  
"We...we did it, Kaoru-kun..." Shinji said to the Eva. "I...don't know   
if you can hear me, but if you can...we did it. The Angels are gone   
for good, now, and we stopped all the enemy Evas."  
  
They stood there in silence for a few minutes, watching the motionless   
machine.  
  
"I...hope you're happy in there," Shinji continued. "You don't have to   
worry, anymore. About falling apart, I mean. Misato-san will make   
sure they take good care of Unit-03. And if she doesn't, I will."  
  
Shinji paused, swallowing. He knew he was sad, but it was as though   
he'd run out of tears.  
  
"Just tell me you're happy," Shinji said, again. "Then I...won't have   
any problem with it. I'll be fine, if I know you are."  
  
He kept staring at Unit-03, for a good five minutes. Nothing happened.  
  
Shinji sighed and turned away. "Let's go," he said to Rei.  
  
But, as he turned, he saw Kaoru standing on the catwalk. Shinji froze.   
He could see through Kaoru, as though he were made of mist. The boy   
stood there, with his hands in his pockets and that same carefree smile   
on his face.  
  
Kaoru nodded, once, his eyes looking directly into Shinji's.  
  
And then...he was gone. He vanished instantaneously, as though he   
hadn't even been there.  
  
Shinji blinked. He looked at Rei. "Did you see that?" he asked.  
  
Rei nodded and squeezed his hand again. "I think that was your answer,   
Shinji."  
  
Shinji nodded, sighing a little. "I'm glad to know that...Kaoru-  
kun..." he said to Unit-03. With that, he turned and left, Rei walking   
by his side. Inside Unit-03, Kaoru's soul watched through the Eva's   
eyes.  
  
Later that day, several of the techs swore that they'd seen Unit-03   
smiling.  
  
***  
  
The next few weeks went by as a blur. Workers came in from all over   
Japan to rebuild Tokyo-3. Not only did the city need work, the area   
around it needed to be reconstructed and decontaminated. The decision   
was made to empty the city entirely, leaving just the MAGI and a small   
technician staff behind to manage them. It wasn't much of an   
evacuation; other than the NERV staff, not many people were still   
living there. But they left with the promise that when they returned,   
Tokyo-3 would again be a majestic city.  
  
Most of the city's inhabitants moved down to Osaka-2, where they took   
up temporary residences at various places. In the case of the pilots   
and bridge crew, a grant from NERV let them stay at a high-class hotel,   
each with their own individual room.  
  
Then there came the hard part: finding the dead. The corpses of NERV   
personnel had been retrieved by the dozen from the Geofront. Many of   
them had had to be chipped out of the bakelite the corridors had been   
flooded with.  
  
Shinji and Rei had only attended two of the funerals. They hadn't   
intended to go to the first one, but then Fuyutsuki had explained to   
them why Gendo had wanted to start Third Impact. They'd grudgingly   
decided to go to the funeral for Shinji's father.   
  
At the funeral, Shinji had looked stiff, while Rei had looked as though   
she'd have rather been anywhere else. But they'd still gone through   
the motions, attending the wake and watching as the coffin was buried.   
They'd left soon afterwards, and put the event out of their minds.  
  
The second funeral they'd attended had been that of Ritsuko Akagi.   
That had been another matter altogether. Shinji had gotten a soft look   
in his eyes. He hadn't really known Ritsuko, but she hadn't been that   
bad a person. Rei had genuinely cried, shedding tears freely. The   
only person who had cried more had been Maya, who'd been bawling like a   
baby about her "sempai" and how she "never told her the way she felt."  
  
Shinji and Rei had visited Akagi's tombstone later on. Rei had left   
flowers, and said in a low voice that she forgave the doctor. Then,   
after a few minutes, she'd asked if Ritsuko was still proud of her.   
Shinji had never asked her what she meant by that, and Rei had not   
ventured an explanation.  
  
***  
  
Just a week after Ritsuko's funeral had been completed, there was no   
trace of sadness in the pilots. Now that the mourning was through, at   
least for the moment, they'd managed to rest up to full strength again.   
Which meant one thing and one thing alone: that it was time to   
celebrate.  
  
Another grant from NERV had allowed them to rent out a ballroom at the   
hotel they were staying at. It had even been enough to pay for a fully   
loaded bar, with waiters galore.  
  
It was a black-tie affair, with everyone dressing up in formal clothes   
they hadn't had a reason to wear for the past few months. It was a   
time for celebration both because the Angels were gone, and because   
people from Tokyo-3 were finally able to see the people they hadn't   
seen since most of the city had been evacuated.  
  
Shinji laughed out loud as Kensuke Aida filled him in on what had been   
going on.  
  
"I'm serious," Kensuke said, in response to Shinji's laughing. "Touji   
bet Hikari that if he was standing on his own two feet before January,   
he'd wear a dress for one whole day. And, well, what do you know," -   
he stopped to laugh, thinking about how silly Touji had looked. "But I   
don't think he cared. You should've seen how happy he was to have both   
legs again."  
  
Shinji glanced over at Touji, who was downing his umpteenth glass of   
punch. The boy looked perfectly normal; if Shinji hadn't known better,   
he'd have never guessed that he was looking at a former double-amputee.  
  
"I guess technology can help as much as it hurts," Shinji remarked.   
Misato had warned him that Touji would be up and about again, but he   
still couldn't believe it. The same technology that had created the   
Evas had been used to furnish a new arm and leg for Touji.  
  
"No kidding. I've got some great pictures of him wearing the dress.   
You wanna see?"  
  
Shinji laughed again. "Uh...no thanks. So...how are those two doing,   
anyway?"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Touji and Hikari."  
  
Kensuke blinked a few times, then figured it out. "Oh, yeah. Sorry,   
you really _have_ been out of the loop, haven't you?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Well, they dated for a while after he got his new arm and leg, but   
after a few weeks they broke up. No hard feelings on either side, but   
it just didn't work out."  
  
"Oh..." Shinji said, a little depressed by this revelation. "So how'd   
Hikari take it?"  
  
"Surprisingly well," Kensuke said, smiling.  
  
***  
  
"Well, _I_ think you made the right choice," Asuka said to Hikari.   
"You know you can do better than that pervert."  
  
Hikari nodded quietly and sipped from her punch. Asuka went on,   
regardless.  
  
"He doesn't stop ogling over that Misato for more than a few seconds at   
most! And you know what he did when I first saw him? No 'hi, how are   
you,' but - "  
  
"Asuka, I know what happened," Hikari said. "You've told me many times   
already."  
  
Asuka stopped mid-sentence, stared at Hikari for a moment, then nodded.   
"So..." she said, trying another conversational tack, "have you found   
someone new yet?"  
  
Hikari nodded, blushing.  
  
"Oooh. Who is it? Is he a stud?"  
  
"...he's cute. And he's very smart, too."  
  
"Oh, I gotta know. Who is he? Is he in this room?"  
  
Hikari nodded again.  
  
"Well, who is he?"  
  
Hikari looked up, across the room. Asuka followed Hikari's gaze.  
  
Kensuke Aida was staring back, meeting Hikari's eyes. He waved at the   
girls. Hikari's blush deepened.  
  
Asuka looked from Kensuke, to Hikari, then back to Kensuke, and finally   
back to Hikari. "Okay," she said, calmly.  
  
Hikari, still quite red, looked up at her. "You took that well. I'd   
have guessed you'd go nuts."  
  
"Of course not, my friend," Asuka said, smiling. She turned around.   
"Hey, Misato!" she yelled out. "Where's the booze? I just got a   
_really_ good reason not to remember this party!"  
  
***  
  
Kensuke and Touji had switched places, and now Shinji was talking with   
his other friend. There had been a very uneasy silence between the two   
of them for several minutes, before Touji had finally said that he   
didn't blame Shinji for what had happened. Things had been improving   
from there.  
  
"So, Shinji, you got a girlfriend yet?" Touji asked, grinning   
lecherously.  
  
Shinji nodded.  
  
"Yeah, figures. Who's the lucky girl?" he asked, glancing over at   
Asuka.  
  
"Rei."  
  
Touji looked back to Shinji. He had an unreadable expression on his   
face for a moment. Then, he smiled a genuine smile. "Good for you,   
man!" he said, clapping Shinji on the shoulder. "I always thought you   
had a thing for her."  
  
Shinji nodded, smiling back.  
  
"So what started it? What broke the ice?"  
  
"An Eva self-destruct," Shinji replied, casually.  
  
"Huh?" Touji asked, confused.  
  
"I'll explain _that_ one later," Shinji said, finishing off his drink.  
  
"Alright, alright," Touji replied. "So where is she? Did she not want   
to come?"  
  
Shinji shook his head. "No, she promised me she'd come. But Misato-  
san insisted she get something to wear for this party. She's trying on   
her new clothes now."  
  
"Geez. Ayanami actually _cares_ about how she looks?  
  
"Yeah. A lot's different about her, these days."  
  
Touji's eyes widened. "...wow," he said, incredulous.  
  
Shinji nodded. "Yeah, I guess it is kind of surprising," he said.   
"Because, I mean, the last _you_ saw of her, she - "  
  
"Wow," Touji said, again. Shinji looked up, to see that his friend   
was, in fact, paying attention to something behind him. Shinji turned   
around...  
  
...and was left breathless.  
  
Just stepping through the doorway into the room, Rei glanced around   
nervously. Even with help from Misato, it had taken a good couple of   
hours to pick out the dress that was just right. She'd spent the last   
thirty minutes just looking at herself in the mirror. She'd never gone   
to a formal engagement before, much less worn anything like _this_.  
  
The dress was of a smooth material she couldn't remember the name of.   
It seemed to catch the light and almost glow. The dress covered her   
shoulders nicely, but left her arms bare. It also had an open back,   
something that had made Rei blush for the first several minutes after   
putting it on. The top part of the dress clung to her body, molding   
itself to every curve. It was a blue exactly the same color as her   
hair. Below her waist, the dress took on a darker blue, and flared out   
into a thin skirt.  
  
Folding her hands in front of her, she looked around, quietly stepping   
into the party room.  
  
Touji poked Shinji, but got no response. "We've lost him," he said to   
himself.  
  
"God she's beautiful..." Shinji mumbled.  
  
"Looks like she's really gone all-out tonight," Touji remarked, eyeing   
Rei. "Getting a lot of attention for it, too," he added, noticing the   
double and triple-takes many of the males were doing when they saw the   
girl.  
  
Shinji could only nod dumbly.  
  
"So go over to her," Touji said, shoving his friend.  
  
Shinji stumbled, but caught himself. He snapped back to reality.   
"Huh? B...but..."  
  
"But what?"  
  
"I wouldn't know what to say."  
  
Touji shrugged. "Why so?"  
  
"Well, the last chance we got to be alone together...not like that!" he   
added on, noticing the way Touji looked at him. "The last time we   
really talked, she...said that she loved me."  
  
Touji blinked. "Damn. Ayanami said the l-word? I'd have never   
guessed."  
  
"Me, too," Shinji said, watching the girl walk across the room. Rei   
looked at him, holding him in place with her eyes and her smile.   
Shinji couldn't help smiling back.  
  
"Looks like she's waiting for you," Touji said. "So...what're you   
going to say to her?"  
  
"I wish I knew."  
  
Touji's face went deadpan, and his tone became quiet and serious.   
"Alright, just between you and me, and I swear on _whatever's_ still   
sacred that I won't tell anyone. Do you love her back?"  
  
Shinji didn't say anything, at first. Touji displayed uncharacteristic   
patience, crossing his arms and waiting.  
  
"A while ago, I told her I'd protect her," Shinji finally began. Touji   
kept his mouth shut; he could almost sense the other boy had more to   
say. He was right.  
  
"And right after that, it all went down. And...I almost lost her. I   
saw her disappear, and...my world ended, right then. I lost my mind.   
All that mattered was getting her back. You know..." he said, looking   
directly at Touji. "I think I can almost understand my father. At   
that moment, I'd have destroyed the world myself, if it meant getting   
her back."  
  
Touji waited a few more moments, to see if Shinji had anything else to   
say. When the boy remained silent, Touji nodded. "Sounds pretty good   
to me, man," he said, nudging Shinji's arm. "Why don't you tell her   
that? Go over there, and tell where what you just told me."  
  
"B...but..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"But there's so many people, here. And it's different when I'm talking   
to her. I get kind of self-conscious, sometimes."  
  
"If you say so, man. Tell you what, you don't even have to say   
anything. I might not be an expert on this stuff, but I know you can   
get pretty far without saying much at all. Here," he said, pointing to   
the dance floor. "Ask her to dance."  
  
Shinji went pale. "I don't know how to dance."  
  
"That's not stopping Kensuke," Touji said, pointing to a couple on the   
dance floor. Sure enough, Kensuke and Hikari were there, swaying to   
the music, slowly moving around the floor.  
  
Shinji shook his head. "N...no. I might go talk to her, but no   
dancing. I'll just embarass myself."  
  
Touji looked like he was about to say something, but then he just   
nodded. "If you feel that way, fine," he said. "Good luck, man," he   
said, clapping Shinji on the back and turning away.  
  
Shinji watched Touji go, then slowly turned back to face Rei. She was   
_so_ beautiful. How could he be worthy of that? No, he wouldn't ruin   
it by trying to dance with her. Period.  
  
***  
  
"We need to get Shinji onto the dance floor," Touji said.  
  
"Alright," Kensuke replied, pushing his glasses back up his nose.   
"What's your preferred method? At gunpoint? Or maybe an electric   
cattle prod?"  
  
Hikari, next to him, turned one corner of her mouth down. "That's not   
nice," she said to Kensuke.  
  
The target of her chidings sank into himself a little. "Sorry," he   
said. "But honestly, Touji. How do you intend to make him do   
something you _know_ he won't want to do?"  
  
"Easy. I've got an idea."  
  
"This oughta be good," Kensuke said. "Okay, what's your idea?"  
  
Touji looked around conspiratorially, then leaned down, pulling Hikari   
and Kensuke down into an improvised huddle. He whispered his idea to   
them.  
  
Hikari giggled. "You'd _do_ that?" she asked.  
  
"Hey, it's for the kid's own good," Touji said, taking a noble pose.  
  
"You know, that's actually a decent plan," Kensuke remarked. "Who are   
you, and what did you do with Touji?"  
  
Hikari fixed Kensuke with a stern look. Kensuke recovered by putting   
his arm around Hikari's waist. "Alright, I'll behave," he said,   
quietly.  
  
"You better," the girl replied.  
  
"Okay, let's go," Touji said, clapping his hands together. "I'll talk   
to the band. Hikari, you go around and make sure these people all know   
the chorus. Kensuke, you get that guy with the long hair - "  
  
"Shigeru Aoba?" Kensuke suggested.  
  
"Yeah, that's him. Tell him to get his guitar."  
  
They all nodded in unison, then split up, going to do their respective   
tasks.  
  
***  
  
Shinji had finally worked up the guts to approach the object of his   
affection.  
  
"H...hello, Rei," he said, nervously tugging at his collar.  
  
"Hello, Shinji..." Rei replied, glancing down at her feet to hide her   
blush.  
  
"Y...you look nice, tonight."  
  
"Thank you. You also look nice, Shinji."  
  
They both swallowed, neither really knowing what to say.  
  
Both of them tried to say something at the same time, and both of them   
stopped, smiling a little. They tried again, but this time, they were   
cut off by a series of cheers and hoots going up amongst the crowd.   
They looked towards the stage, which seemed to be on the center of the   
ruckus.  
  
Standing on the stage was Touji, microphone in hand. He took a dramtic   
bow in response to the mock cheers of the crowd. He then gestured to   
the band behind him. The music immediately started, with Shigeru   
plucking off several chords on his guitar.  
  
^Shigeru? Where'd he come from?^ Shinji wondered. The rest of the   
band kicked in, playing a bouncy, almost street-music tune. Then came   
the worst part of all: Touji began to sing.  
  
It wasn't just that Touji couldn't carry a tune in a sack. No, _that_   
would have been bearable. But in addition to that, the boy was looking   
over in Shinji and Rei's direction, quite obviously singing for their   
benefit.  
  
"Laughin' and a-runnin'...skippin' and a-jumpin'...in the misty   
moooornin'..." Touji sang. Shinji wished he could disappear.  
  
"...with you...the red-eyed girl..." Touji said, pointing to them from   
where he stood on the stage. "Yoooou're my...red-eyed girl..."  
  
The worst wasn't over yet. Touji continued: "Do you remember when...we   
used to sing..."  
  
At this, the _entire_ crowd erupted into the chorus. "SHA LA LA LA LA   
LA LA LA LA LA LA TEE DA!!"  
  
Shinji glanced over at Rei, who was trying to hold back a _very_   
embarassed smile. The crowd kept going. "SHA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA   
LA LA TEE DA! LA TEE DA!"  
  
Shigeru stopped playing for a moment, letting the bass guitar have a   
brief solo. While this was going on, Touji got off the stage, still   
holding his microphone. He made his way through the cheering crowd,   
over to to Shinji and Rei.  
  
Touji threw one arm around Shinji's shoulders and offered him the mike.   
Shinji shiied away as though it were a snake, despite the cheers from   
everyone else for him to sing. Touji shrugged and jumped back in,   
missing his cue by a few beats.  
  
"So hard to fiiind my way..." he continued, now beginning to dance   
around Shinji and Rei. Shinji's face, by this time, rivaled Unit-02   
with its shade of red.  
  
"Yooou're my...red-eyed girl. Do you remember when...we used to   
sing..."  
  
_Rei_ joined in with the crowd this time, while Shinji covered his eyes   
with one hand.  
  
As it turned out, that was the last chorus. Touji took another bow in   
front of the tremendous applause from the crowd, then brought the mike   
back up to his mouth.  
  
"Shinji," he said, his voice broadcast across the room. "You are now   
quite thoroughly embarassed, and stand absolutely nothing to lose by   
showing us what a bad dancer you are."  
  
^I _am_ going to kill you for this, Touji,^ Shinji thought. His   
thoughts were interrupted, however, as Rei took his hand.  
  
Shinji's mind froze. ^What's she doing? She wouldn't...^  
  
He considered breaking free, but his body didn't seem to be listening,   
right now. He just walked stiffly, allowing Rei to lead him out to the   
dance floor amid even more cheering.  
  
They made it out onto the hard wooden surface, along with several other   
couples who decided to go back to dancing. On the stage, Shigeru took   
a bow and stepped off, slinging his guitar over his shoulder as he   
headed off to the bar.  
  
The band began playing something much slower and more relaxed than that   
last tune. It flowed smoothly, washing over the crowd and calming the   
over-excited observers.  
  
Shinji felt Rei start to sway her hips to the music. He panicked at   
first, but then let himself go along with it. This wasn't too hard.   
All he had to do was ignore the eyes of the crowd.  
  
That was actually a surprisingly easy thing to do. All he had to do   
was look down at the girl in his arms. Into the eyes Touji had just   
been singing about. Shinji felt himself relax, as he looked at Rei's   
peaceful face. He pulled her closer, letting the music move him.  
  
After a while, Rei turned her head and rested it on his chest, letting   
a small sigh escape her lips. Shinji sighed as well, as he felt her   
warm body pressing into him. He concentrated on dancing. ^Maybe I   
_won't_ kill Touji...^  
  
He could feel her heart thudding against his chest, feel her hands   
circled gently around his waist as they continued to sway back and   
forth. Shinji moved his own hand from her waist up to the bare skin of   
her back. He turned his head down slightly, smelling the fresh scent   
of Rei's perfume. ^Since when does she wear perfume? It's kind of   
nice, though...^  
  
All too soon, the music ended. Shinji pulled away from Rei, slightly.   
They looked into each others eyes for what seemed like an eternity.  
  
Then they both looked up, as applause broke out in the crowd. It   
started off with just Touji, Hikari, and Kensuke, but then it spread,   
until the entire room was clapping for Shinji and Rei. Shinji blushed,   
but managed a nod in the crowd's direction. Rei did likewise.  
  
Shinji led them off of the dance floor. He took a seat in front of a   
window. Rei sat down next to him.  
  
"You did that very well, Shinji," Rei said, softly.  
  
Shinji blushed. "I was just...making it up as I went along."  
  
"That made no difference. You still did it well."  
  
"Th...thank you, then," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders.   
He looked out the window, at the stars beyond. He felt Rei turn to   
look, as well.  
  
"What are you looking at, Shinji?" Rei asked.  
  
"Nothing specifically," Shinji replied, slowly. "Just...taking in the   
night's beauty," he added, glancing at Rei. The girl blushed at this.  
  
They'd been sitting there for several minutes when they were suddenly   
interrupted by a voice coming from behind them.  
  
"Excuse me...Shinji Ikari?"  
  
Shinji turned around. "Yes?" he asked the speaker. It looked like one   
of the waiters they'd hired for this party.  
  
"A man outside asked me to give this to you," he said, handing Shinji a   
letter. At that, he bowed and left.  
  
Shinji's brow furrowed. Who would have given him this?  
  
"Open it, Shinji," Rei said, looking curiously at the letter.  
  
Shinji nodded and ripped it open. Inside was a brief letter. Shinji   
held it out, letting Rei read it with him.  
  
"Shinji," the letter read. "I'm sorry I had to leave for a while. I   
know you must have been hurt by that. My apologies. I had some work   
to do, which was best done alone. If anyone had known who I cared for,   
you and Katsuragi might have been used as leverage against me. But my   
work is done now, and I thought I'd drop in on my friends.  
  
"I'd like to talk to you later. From what I hear, a lot's happened in   
my absence. Right now, however, I've got some things to say to   
Katsuragi, which are best done in person. I didn't know if she'd want   
to see me, after what I did. I'm asking you as a friend to bring her   
out here. I'm out in the lobby.  
  
"P.S. : How're my melons doing?"  
  
There was no name. Shinji knew exactly who it was, though. He blinked   
and read the letter again. "I thought he was gone..." Shinji mumbled   
to himself. "Misato-san sure thought so..." he continued, remembering   
that one night he'd found Misato crying.  
  
"Who wrote this, Shinji?" Rei asked, cocking her head.  
  
"Just a friend," Shinji replied, hesitantly. "I'll be back in a   
minute, Rei. Just wait here."  
  
Rei nodded once, then went back to looking at the stars.  
  
Shinji pushed through the crowd, until he found Misato, who was heading   
for the bar.  
  
"Misato-san!" he called out.  
  
Misato turned around. "Oh, hi there, Shinji-kun," she said. She   
smiled at him, but Shinji could see the empty look in her eyes.  
  
"Is...is there something wrong?" Shinji asked, momentarily forgetting   
what he'd come here for.  
  
"Nothing, nothing," Misato replied, shaking her head. The empty look   
remained in her eyes. "I'm just glad to see everyone so happy."  
  
Shinji remained suspicious, but shook it off. "Uh...Misato-san,   
someone's asked to...uh...meet you."  
  
"Who?" Misato asked, suspicious.  
  
"They didn't give me their name," Shinji replied, truthfully. "I'm   
sure it'll just take a minute. Come on."  
  
Misato looked from Shinji, then back to the bar and its supply of free   
alcohol, then back to Shinji. "Oh, why not?" she asked, shrugging.  
  
Shinji nodded and started heading for the doors. Misato followed   
closely, and they made good progress through the crowd.  
  
They made it through the doors and into the significantly emptier   
hallway outside. Shinji turned left and headed for this floor's lobby.   
Behind him, Misato still followed, though a questioning look was slowly   
spreading across her face.  
  
Shinji made it to the lobby, and looked around. He saw nothing out of   
place; a few people headed to their rooms, a tiled floor, and some   
leather chairs for people who were waiting. But...he didn't see anyone   
he recognized.  
  
"He said he'd be here..." Shinji muttered.  
  
"_Who_ said that?" Misato asked. "Shinji, who told you to come out here?"  
  
"I...I..." Shinji tried to say something, but he couldn't decide   
whether to lie or tell the truth. Fate bailed him out, though, as he   
saw the object of their search walk into the lobby from out of the   
shadows of a side corridor.  
  
"Seems you've developed a cynical streak since I last saw you,   
Katsuragi," Ryouji Kaji said, crossing his arms.  
  
Misato froze at the voice. She turned around slowly, meeting Kaji's   
gaze. She stared for a long, long moment. After a while, her mouth   
started to open and shut, but no words came out.  
  
"So much to say, you don't know what to say first...I know the   
feeling," Kaji continued, smiling a little. As he watched, the vacant   
look in Misato's eyes vanished, replaced by a little sparkle.  
  
Misato walked up to him, smiled, and promptly tackled him. Shinji   
winced as he saw Kaji's head hit the floor. Misato started pounding on   
Kaji's chest so hard that grunts of pain escaped him. Words started   
tumbling out of her mouth.  
  
"You goddamn shit-eating asshole rat-fuck bastard son of a fucking   
_bitch!_ You scared me! And now you come crawling back?! I   
oughta..."  
  
Kaji just lay there and took the punishment, ignoring the stares of   
people walking through the lobby. Misato continued swearing and   
beating him until she was out of breath. She leaned on him, gasping,   
as a bruised and battered Kaji took a breath to speak.  
  
"I'm sorry," he began. Misato looked like she wanted to say something,   
but since she was still trying to get her wind back, she couldn't.  
  
"I know it's not nearly enough, but I'm sorry." He glanced at Shinji,   
who nodded and walked back to the party room.  
  
"I'd found out who was behind it all, but I was too far in," Kaji said.   
"I knew someone was going to try to kill me, so I asked a friend to   
help me fake my own death. I took a temporary identity and   
disappeared."  
  
"You scared me..." Misato whispered.  
  
"I know. But I needed to stop SEELE, because I was sure they wouldn't   
stop trying, even if their first attempt at Third Impact wasn't enough.   
And the safest protection was for me to be dead. You can't kill a dead   
man, and you can't blackmail him by threatening his friends."  
  
"Oh, so it was for _my_ benefit," Misato said sarcastically, getting   
up.  
  
Kaji stood up, as well, and rubbed at his sore ribs. "It was out of   
everyone's best interests. I enjoy being alive, you know. But it's   
over with, now," he said. "I called in a few more favors. SEELE is   
dead."  
  
"You mean..."  
  
"Yes. While SEELE was trying to start Third Impact, it let its guard   
down. During that time, my...associates and I took care of the entire   
board. I'd come here to finish Gendo with my own hands, but it seems   
someone beat me to the punch..." he looked at her, to see that she'd   
turned away.  
  
"What is it?" Kaji asked.  
  
"I can't believe this," Misato said. "You just took out the strongest   
government in the world? Just like that?"  
  
"It wasn't easy."  
  
Misato shook her head. "That's going to cause a _lot_ of trouble."  
  
"Better that than Third Impact. Besides, if we were all 'evolved', as   
they said, I probably wouldn't be able to do _this_ any more," he said,   
as he pinched her butt.  
  
Misato jumped at the contact, turned around, and gave Kaji a slap that   
would have put Asuka to shame. Kaji's head turned to the side with the   
force, but he smiled. "That was worth it," he said.  
  
"You jerk," Misato said. At the same time, she turned his head back to   
face her, and planted a wet kiss right on his lips.  
  
After they broke off, Kaji stroked her face. "So, what do you say?   
Now that it's finished, at least for a while, do you want to try   
starting over?"  
  
Misato sighed and stepped back. "I don't know," she said. "But you   
can at least keep me company for the rest of this party. After   
that...we'll see."  
  
"That's as good a start as any," Kaji said, offering her his arm.   
Misato took it, and they slowly made their way back to the party.  
  
***  
  
Touji had been one of the first people to clap, and one of the last to   
stop, as Shinji and Rei stepped off the floor. ^Knew he could do it,^   
he thought. ^Just needed to give him a push.^ He laughed to himself,   
remembering the look on Shinji's face.  
  
Some several minutes ago, he'd sat down in a convenient chair, giving   
his legs a break. He didn't like this formal wear. It was too tight,   
and the jacket was getting hot. He'd put up with it for a little   
longer, but he could feel himself running down. It would be a little   
while before he would feel like standing up again.  
  
He grinned to himself as Misato walked back in from the lobby. She was   
as stunning as ever. His grin fell, though, as he saw the man with   
her. Hadn't that guy left a long time ago? He'd figured it had been   
some kind of violent break-up. But, judging from the way he was   
staying close to her, it seemed the break-up was off. Though it didn't   
explain the handprint on his face...  
  
He turned his glance back over to Rei and Shinji. Shinji had just   
returned from taking Misato somewhere, and had gone back to sit down   
next to Rei. They had gone back to looking out into the clear night   
air. He had high hopes for those two.  
  
^But then again, what do I know?^ he asked himself. ^I get a steady   
girlfriend for a month, and then I can read other relationships like   
books? Yeah, right.^ But, it was nice to think everything would work   
out. Maybe it would.  
  
He glanced over at the bar, where he could see that Maya woman sitting   
with Shigeru. Both of them - Maya especially - appeared to be knocking   
back a _lot_ of booze. Maybe he could do that. He sure wouldn't be   
dancing.  
  
"Should have Shinji give me some pointers..." he said to himself,   
remembering how Shinji had managed to relax and just let the music move   
him.  
  
"Oh, give me a _break_," came a new voice from behind him. Touji grit   
his teeth at the voice. He turned and looked at Asuka standing next to   
him.  
  
"You call _that_ dancing?" Asuka asked, much too loudly for Touji's   
tastes. "That baka Shinji doesn't know anything about how to dance.   
He can't even _kiss_ right."  
  
Touji smirked as he peeked past her. "And when did you last check how   
he could kiss?" he asked.  
  
Asuka turned and saw Shinji and Rei exchanging a rather deep kiss over   
by one of the windows. "Oh, get a room why don't you!" Asuka said, not   
really shouting, but definitely not at normal conversational tones.   
"In any case," she said, crossing her arms angrily, "_that's_ not how   
you kiss in a nice party like this."  
  
"Do _you_ know how, Sohryuu?" Touji asked, leering at her.  
  
"Oh, yuck! Get away from me, you pervert!" Asuka shouted, backing   
away.  
  
Touji snorted. "So _you_ haven't changed. Why are you bothering this   
pervert, anyway?" he asked.  
  
"I..." Asuka looked like she was going to say something else, but   
trailed off.  
  
Touji nodded, as though able to read her thoughts. "Uh huh," he said,   
cynically. He glanced over at Hikari and Kensuke, then at Shinji and   
Rei, then finally at Misato and Kaji, who were dancing a surprisingly   
good tango. "You're lonely," he said.  
  
"I am not!" Asuka declared, though she said it so quietly it was almost   
a whisper.  
  
"Uh huh," Touji said, again. "Well, if you're lonely, you do something   
about it." He looked away, staring back into the crowd. "You tell me   
you know how to kiss people?"  
  
"Of course I do!" Asuka declared, putting her hands on her hips. "I   
know everything there is to know about romancing someone!"  
  
"Then you show me you can kiss someone in this room the right way. I   
bet you..." - he checked his pocket money - "a thousand yen," he said,   
that you couldn't kiss someone right if your life depended on it."  
  
"Ha!" Asuka snorted out, half-turning away. "You're about to owe me a   
thousand yen."  
  
"Can I pick the...er...target?"  
  
"Go right ahead, Suzuhara! I can land anyone, even the ugliest guy   
here!"  
  
"Hm..." Touji said, standing up and doing his best to look thoughtful.  
  
Asuka's brow furrowed as she felt a hand grab her arm and turn her   
around. She looked up to see Touji looking down at her. "What are you   
doing, you bak..." she cut off mid-word as she saw him leaning down   
towards her. She locked up.  
  
Asuka's eyes went to the size of dinner plates as she felt Touji's lips   
touch hers. She felt her heart accelerate so much that it tried to   
jackhammer through her chest. She felt...  
  
Touji stood back up, leaving an _extremely_ shocked Asuka standing   
there. "You owe me a thousand yen," he said, tapping her on the nose.   
With that, he turned around and walked off.  
  
For the next several minutes, Asuka just stood there, staring   
unblinkingly into space. Her cheeks were quite red, and not from   
anger, this time. People waved their hands in front of her eyes, and   
got no response. Finally, she snapped out of it; her eyes went back to   
normal size, and she shook her head clear. It finally hit her what had   
happened.  
  
Muttering various German expletives, she pushed her way through the   
crowd. Her eyes blazed as she caught up to Touji.  
  
"Suzuhara!" she shouted out at the top of her lungs. All conversation   
in the immediate vicinity suddenly died, as everyone turned to face the   
girl who looked like anger incarnate. Touji also turned. He saw the   
look on her face, and could take a good guess what it meant. But he   
didn't let himself look scared. He looked her right back in the eye,   
while quietly hoping death would be quick.  
  
Asuka stomped right up to him, the crowd parting as she did so. Touji   
didn't flinch.  
  
Asuka grabbed his head. Touji _still_ didn't flinch.  
  
Asuka dragged his lips down onto hers. Before he knew what was   
happening, he was engaged in a kiss that left everyone around them   
absolutely speechless. He felt Asuka's tounge slide into his mouth.  
  
_Now_ Touji flinched. But by then, he was firmly in Asuka's grip.  
  
After nearly half a minute, Asuka stepped away, breathing hard and   
still seething. "Now _you_ owe _me_ a thousand yen," she said.  
  
Touji blinked, trying to un-scramble his brain. His emotions got   
control before his logical side. Which, in this case, was not all that   
bad.  
  
"You call _that_ a kiss?!" he shot back. "That's nothing. You   
should've seen what me and Hikari could do!" Luckily for Hikari, she   
was out of earshot when he said this.  
  
"Don't make me laugh!" Asuka argued back.  
  
"You need a demonstration?" Touji asked, stepping up to her.  
  
Asuka stopped him with a slap that resounded through the room.   
"Hentai!" she shouted. She dropped her arm and stepped next to him.  
  
"At least don't show me in front of all these people," she muttered,   
her voice at a volume only he could hear. For the benefit of the   
people surrounding them, though, she kept her face a mask of fury.   
"I'm going to my room. It's room 1416, Suzuhara...and there won't be   
an audience there."  
  
With that, she stomped off in a huff. Everyone around Touji started   
buzzing with gossip about what had just happened. Touji blushed in   
spite of himself.  
  
He turned in time to see Asuka storm out the nearest door. Just before   
she closed the door, though, she looked back, meeting Touji's eyes for   
a moment. For that moment, Touji could see the loneliness Asuka was   
trying so hard to hide. He could also see her silently begging him to   
come, to break the loneliness for a while.  
  
Then, the moment passed, and the door closed, blocking Touji's view of   
the girl. He again became aware of the world around him.  
  
Touji blinked several times, trying to sort things out. Finally, his   
brain kicked back in, and he smiled. Broadly. And he slowly made his   
way for the door.  
  
***  
  
Shinji returned from leading Misato outside, and sat back down next to   
Rei. Shinji smiled at her, but saw that she looked fairly somber.  
  
"Rei?" he asked. "Is there something wrong?  
  
"I was just thinking," the girl replied. "Back when...Adam merged with   
me."  
  
Shinji tried to look consoling. "Yes?" he asked.  
  
Rei leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder. "I   
felt...completed, almost. Feeling another life down within me. I..."  
  
Shinji put his arm around her, giving her time to get her words   
together.  
  
"...I think that's what it feels like to have a child," Rei said. "And   
I...I'll never be able to feel that again."  
  
Shinji responded by turning and planting his lips onto hers. Rei   
paused for a moment, but then returned it. The girl blinked as Shinji   
broke the kiss.  
  
"Not that I minded in the least," she said, "but what was _that_ for?"  
  
"I told you before," Shinji said. "I don't care. And Rei, you of all   
people should learn to value what you have. Things could have been a   
lot worse, you know."  
  
Rei smiled. It was the same smile she'd used since the Fifth Angel,   
and it was still just as beautiful. "Thank you, Shinji," she said.  
  
She again leaned her head on Shinji's shoulder and went back to   
stargazing with him. Some moments later, she could hear Asuka and   
Touji arguing it out over who could kiss better. She ignored them,   
though; it didn't seem to have any bearing on her or the boy next to   
her.  
  
Time quietly passed, as they kept looking out the window, in relative   
silence. Behind them, guests slowly started to leave, deciding it was   
time to go to sleep if they wanted to get back to work the next day.   
Asuka and Touji had disappeared some time ago, and no one had seen them   
since.  
  
Misato and Kaji continued dancing, as the band kept playing. For that   
short time, at least, the Major didn't feel as lonely as she had at the   
beginning of the party.  
  
Kensuke and Hikari eventually left, as well, going back to their homes,   
but not before setting a time for their next date.  
  
Shigeru had to carry Maya out, the woman having drunken herself into   
unconsciousness. Shinji already pitied her. He knew from experience   
with Misato what she would be going through in the morning.  
  
After a while, the room had calmed down. Rei turned her gaze to the   
side, to see that Shinji was staring at her, a hint of a smile on his   
lips.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked, blushing at the attention.  
  
"Just thinking," Shinji replied, as he continued to stare at the girl   
in front of him. "What are you going to do now, Rei?"  
  
"You mean tonight?" Rei asked. She smiled to herself. "That depends   
on whether or not we can find some privacy," she replied.  
  
Shinji blinked several times, then turned a faint pink. "Uh..." he   
stuttered. "I...uh...meant, what now, that the Evas are gone."  
  
Rei shook her head. "I doubt that things will remain the way they   
are," she said. "The Evas will probably be developed further,   
for...various uses."  
  
Shinji nodded somberly. "So you still want to pilot?" he asked.  
  
Rei hesitated before answering. "I don't know," she said. "For so   
long, Eva was all I had. I don't know if I can give it up so easily.   
I suppose you want to put it as far behind you as possible..." she   
asked, turning to face him.  
  
Shinji was also hesitant. "Well I...that is...Eva causes so much pain,   
but...I..."  
  
"You still kept finding a reason to pilot," Rei finished for him.   
Shinji nodded in response.  
  
Rei turned back to looking out into the sky. "I do not believe I want   
to pilot an Eva. But I would still prefer to work with them. I have   
much first-hand knowledge of how they work, and the Dummy system is   
based off of me. I suppose I could be useful, somehow."  
  
"Hm," Shinji replied, holding her closer. "I don't think I could leave   
it all behind, either. Asuka's staying on as a pilot, and Touji tells   
me he might actually do something with it." He laughed a little.   
"Everyone I'm close to is involved. I could almost say Eva is all I   
have."  
  
Rei glanced up at him. She remembered saying that herself, though the   
context had been different. After a second's deliberation, she   
tightened her grip on Shinji to the point where the air was pushed out   
of his lungs.  
  
"Hey!" Shinji wheezed out. Rei loosened her hold. "What was that   
for?" he asked.  
  
"Don't say it's all you have," Rei said, looking up into his eyes.   
"You told me that a long time ago. It sounds like you needed to be   
reminded."  
  
"I guess. But I didn't mean it that way...I just meant that I can't   
really leave it behind."  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
They sat like that for another few minutes.  
  
"What are you looking at, Shinji?" Rei asked, eventually.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're looking at the sky, but you appear to be looking at something   
in particular."  
  
"I...guess so. I don't know what it is. But I just...felt like I   
should be looking in that direction."  
  
"For a sign, maybe?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
They both looked back to the window just in time to see a white blur   
arc its lazy path across the night sky.  
  
"Shooting star," Shinji commented. "Make a wish, Rei."  
  
Rei said nothing.  
  
"Rei?"  
  
"I did make a wish, Shinji. But I think it's time we went to bed."  
  
Shinji nodded, unconsciously checking his watch. It _was_ quite late.   
He slowly escorted Rei out of the room and into an elevator, which took   
them up into the hotel.  
  
Rei asked him to accompany her down the hall, until she got into her   
room. Shinji, seeing no harm in this, did so. He waited patiently as   
Rei unlocked her door and slid it aside.  
  
"Good night, Rei," Shinji said, turning to go.  
  
"Shinji..."  
  
He stopped and turned around again. "Yes, Rei?"  
  
"Would you keep me company a little longer?"  
  
Shinji looked into her contented - but at the same time pleading -   
face, and found he couldn't say no. He nodded and followed her inside.   
Shinji left his shoes by the door, relaxing as he felt his feet finally   
able to move. Those shoes had been a little too small.  
  
Rei politely closed the door behind them and then went over to her   
closet. Shinji crossed his arms behind his back and looked around.  
  
"They sure gave us big rooms, didn't they?" he mused. "You've just got   
to love this, R..." he trailed off as he heard the sharp noise of a   
zipper being opened. He slowly looked over at Rei, in time to see her   
taking off her dress.  
  
Shinji was sure he had a heart attack on the spot. He turned around   
quickly. "Rei?! What are you doing?"  
  
"Changing my clothes."  
  
"Huh?" Shinji asked, having expected the answer to be something else   
entirely.  
  
"I am uncomfortable in this dress. I'm changing out of it."  
  
"Oh...okay."  
  
Rei said nothing more, and Shinji didn't move, even though he felt his   
face getting hot. After a while, he chanced a look over his shoulder.   
Rei had changed into a short skirt and socks. At the moment, she was   
sliding into one of her few tee-shirts. Her head popped out of the   
collar, and her arms came out of the sleeves shortly thereafter. The   
shirt, being several sizes too big, hung off of one shoulder. Shinji   
couldn't help mentally remarking on how cute she looked.  
  
"Shinji?" the girl asked, looking at him questioningly.  
  
"...yes, Rei?"  
  
"Why didn't you watch?"  
  
Shinji fought the urge to loosen his collar, which suddenly felt like   
it was strangling him. "Uh...I was just respecting your privacy.   
Should I have watched?"  
  
"Only if you'd wanted," Rei said offhandedly, taking a seat in one of   
the room's big chairs.  
  
Shinji shrugged out of his jacket and took off his tie. He did his   
best to redirect the conversation. "I'll agree with you, though. This   
formal wear just isn't for me. And those stupid shoes were crushing my   
feet. He glanced at Rei, to see she was staring at him. Shinji gulped   
and looked out the window.  
  
"But overall, I think it was kind of nice to do this once, just to see   
what it was like," he continued. His eyes wandered back to Rei. She   
was still staring at him.  
  
"And I sure didn't mind dancing, after I got out on the floor..." he   
trailed off as he looked at Rei again. She hadn't even blinked, yet.  
  
"Rei?" he asked. He did his best to meet her gaze, but his eyes kept   
darting away. But he could tell by the expression on her face that she   
was waiting for something. Maybe it was from their high cross-synch   
not too long ago, or maybe just from raw intuition, but Shinji had a   
fairly good idea of what she was waiting for.  
  
Shinji nervously sat down next to the window. He took a breath. "I   
was talking with Touji about you," he said. "He can't believe how much   
you've changed. He was kind of surprised to hear you say you l..." -   
he swallowed before continuing - "loved...me."  
  
Rei was still staring at him. It was starting to get creepy. Finding   
he couldn't sit still under that gaze, he stood up again. Rei's eyes   
following him closely.  
  
^What did I say to Touji?^ he wondered. ^I think it sounded pretty   
good. Now if only I could remember...^  
  
"Rei, I...said I'd protect you. Because I knew you'd do the same for   
me." Still no response from the girl. "And...then I couldn't keep my   
promise. I'm sorry."  
  
"Stop apologizing," Rei said. "It's over with, now."  
  
"I guess so," Shinji said, relieved that Rei had finally decided to say   
something. He looked at her, in time to see she'd gone back to staring   
at him. Shinji turned his back on her, looking out the window again,   
to try and calm himself down. It didn't help, much.   
  
"Rei, I..."  
  
^C'mon, _remember_! What did I say to Touji?^  
  
"Rei...I love you, too."  
  
^...close enough.^  
  
Shinji blinked, thinking about how easy that had been to say. However,   
he didn't get much time to think about it before he heard a sob behind   
him.  
  
He turned around, to see that Rei was crying. He was instantly by her   
side, going to one knee and taking her hand in his. "What's wrong?" he   
asked, his voice full of worry.  
  
Rei looked up at him, and Shinji understood. Although tears were   
running down her face, she was smiling, and actual happiness showed in   
her eyes.  
  
"You asked me to make a wish, Shinji..." she said, her voice nearly a   
whisper, "...and you just made it come true."  
  
Shinji brought himself upwards and onto Rei's level. Their lips   
locked, and they kissed hungrily. Shinji's arms looped around behind   
her and pulled her against him, holding her in place as their tounges   
chased each other wildly.  
  
They broke off, the only reason being that if they hadn't they have   
both suffocated. Shinji stood up, pulling Rei to her feet. They   
kissed again, even more passionately, if such a thing were possible.  
  
Shinji's eyes opened as he felt Rei pushing him backwards, towards the   
bed. He broke the kiss, even though he'd been thoroughly enjoying it.  
  
"Rei?" he asked. "What are you - "  
  
"Please just trust me, Shinji," Rei said, stopping at Shinji's legs   
bumped into the bed. "That's all I ask."  
  
"O...okay," he said. He sat down on the bed, shifting around slightly.   
Rei stood by, watching him get comfortable.  
  
Rei reached out and softly touched his face. "I'm willing to wait,"   
she said. "If it's what you want, I can wait. But for now..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Touch me, Shinji...please?"  
  
Shinji nodded, reaching out and putting his hands around her waist.   
"Of course," he said, quietly. "I'll do that, if you want."  
  
Rei turned around and lowered herself onto his lap. Shinji paused, but   
then adjusted his grip and rubbed her stomach, feeling Rei melt in his   
grip. She turned her head, allowing him to come in over her shoulder   
and kiss her again. She reached over and held his head with one hand,   
while Shinji's hands rubbed in broad circles on her stomach.  
  
Shinji hesitantly slid his hands under her shirt, feeling Rei shiver as   
he touched her bare skin. He was rewarded with another kiss.  
  
Shinji worked his way up her torso, feeling Rei's breathing accelerate   
as he did so. He paused, though, as he reached two particular mounds   
of flesh. ^No bra in the way this time,^ he thought.  
  
But then, he remembered how she'd reacted the last time he'd done this.   
^She got kind of tense. Does she really want me to do this?^.  
  
"Don't stop," Rei gasped out, as she felt his hands slow in their   
progress.  
  
Shrugging mentally, Shinji went back to what he'd been doing. He   
carefully moved upwards, feeling her body undulate underneath his   
hands. He squeezed, causing Rei to cry out at the sudden pleasure. He   
pressed down, concentrating on the soft, pale flesh underneath his   
fingers. Rei clenched her hands, gathering fistfuls of sheet in each   
hand as she closed her eyes and shivered again.  
  
Rei suddenly turned around, Shinji's hands sliding around underneath   
her shirt and ending up on her back. Now face-to-face with the girl,   
Shinji found himself caught up in another kiss. He returned it,   
eagerly, as his hands came back around to her chest.  
  
Rei pulled back, stroking his neck with one hand and his side with   
another. Then, smiling, she raised her arms up over her head.  
  
Shinji quickly understood what she wanted him to do. He hesitated,   
knowing what this could lead to. Did he want to go that far? He   
looked into her face, her smile being all the confirmation he needed.  
  
He lifted up his hands, which were still under her shirt. The cloth   
came up over her head and off of her body. Shinji dropped her shirt   
off to the side, as Rei leaned forwards and kissed him again, this time   
pushing him to the bed. Shinji didn't try to resist.  
  
They both straightend out to stretch over the length of the bed, all   
without breaking their kiss. After they broke off, Rei leaned in and   
started nibbling his neck, an odd yet pleasurable sensation for Shinji.   
Her hands, meanwhile, started to unbutton Shinji's shirt. Shinji   
relaxed, closing his eyes and letting Rei do her work.  
  
After a moment, his hands came up to Rei's breasts again, giving them a   
playful squeeze. Rei gasped and looked up, greeting Shinji with   
another smile, before going back to his shirt. As she got to the last   
button, Shinji moved his hands downwards, back to her stomach. He   
moved his fingers quickly, tickling her as she finished unbuttoning his   
shirt.  
  
Rei stopped curled up a little, clenching her jaw and trying to hold in   
a laugh. She only succeeded partially, letting out a series of small   
giggles.  
  
"Sh...Shinji! What are you...ahh...doing?"  
  
"I like hearing you laugh, Rei."  
  
"Well, you...you're not going to..." she failed to finish, as she   
finally fell over to the side, laughing uncontrollably as Shinji kept   
tickling her.  
  
"Not going to win?" Shinji suggested, smiling. "What was that?"  
  
"Oh! I..." - Rei laughed some more - "Oh, you're hopeless!"  
  
"Really?" Shinji asked. He sat up and moved down the bed. Rei,   
meanwhile, tried to catch her breath.  
  
Shinji made it down to her feet. With a quick motion, he yanked off   
the socks that had been covering them. He ran his fingers up one of   
them, causing Rei to laugh again. He was surprised, however, as Rei   
reached over and started tickling one of _his_ feet. Shinji jerked   
around reflexively, trying and failing to get out of her reach. He   
finally released Rei's foot.  
  
"Okay, you win," Shinji said, catching his own breath. He felt Rei   
tugging off his socks. "Rei?" he asked.  
  
Rei finished removing his socks and looked up at him. ^She really is   
beautiful,^ Shinji thought.   
  
"Yes?" Rei asked, innocently.  
  
"Are you...sure it's okay?" he asked.  
  
Rei nodded immediately. "I want to show you how much you mean to me,   
Shinji."  
  
Shinji turned himself around so he was sitting at her feet. He first   
shrugged out of his shirt and threw it off the bed. Then, he slowly   
crawled up towards Rei. He stopped about halfway, though, putting his   
hands on the inside of her thighs. He stroked them gently, slowly   
pushing her skirt up as he moved higher. He could almost _feel_ Rei   
moan in appreciation.  
  
He slid his hands around to the outside of her legs as he felt the lace   
of her underwear underneath his fingers. He paused, looking up at Rei.   
The girl opened her eyes again, meeting his gaze. She nodded eagerly.  
  
After a moment's hesitation, he grabbed onto the white lace of her   
panties and started pulling them down. Rei watched, smiling shyly, as   
he pulled them off her legs. Shinji threw the panties over his   
shoulder, where they landed God-knows-where.  
  
Shinji watched nervously as Rei sat up and grabbed the waistline of his   
pants. She unbuttoned them quickly and started sliding them down his   
legs, hooking her thumbs into his underwear and dragging that off, too.   
Shinji blushed, sitting back and shifting his position so that Rei   
could finish dragging off his clothes.  
  
Shinji sat up and leaned his back against the wall. Rei got on her   
knees and sat in front of him. She reached out and touched his face   
again. Her face was calm, but Shinji couldn't help seeing the hungry   
look in her eyes.  
  
"Do _you_ want this, Shinji?" she asked.  
  
Shinji replied by reaching down and pulling the zipper down on her   
skirt. Rei's last piece of clothing fell off of her. Shinji leaned   
over to the side, bringing Rei back down to the bed.  
  
"I want to show you how much you mean to me, too, Rei," he said.  
  
Rei smiled and moved towards him.  
  
They went from there.  
  
***  
  
Had someone been following Shinji's line of sight into the sky, they'd   
have gone out into deep space. Far, far into the reaches of the   
galaxy, to a point so distant that even the planets appeared as tiny   
dots, floated Evangelion Unit-01, carrying the Lancea Longinus.  
  
The mecha felt its pilot's soul join with the other pilot's. Inside,   
Yui Ikari's soul let out a sigh of relief.  
  
^I'm glad you were able to find happiness, my son,^ she thought. ^I'll   
be here, whenever you need me. As long as one Evangelion survives,   
humanity will live forever.^  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Endnote : Well, that's that. "An Unwilling Angel" is, at last,   
finished. I hope you enjoyed it.  
  
All right, first things first : "Red Eyed Girl" is a slightly altered   
version of Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl." That song is the property   
of Van Morrison, etc. It is not mine.  
  
I knew I wanted Touji to sing something, but I didn't know what. I   
looked around, eventually stumbling onto that song. I listened to it   
once, and I knew that it was the perfect "let's-embarass-Shinji-into-  
dancing" song. Please just bear with me and assume everyone in that   
room knew enough English to understand the words.  
  
I knew one of Shinji's prime purposes in the series was to deny Third   
Impact. So I figured, why not have him do that _before_ everyone gets   
dissolved? I was never a big supporter of the "end of the world" idea,   
myself.  
  
In case you're wondering: yes, I took some inspiration from "The One I   
Love Is" for Rei's dress. Mostly though, I just used what little   
fashion sense I have and improvised.  
  
About Kaji: It might seem a little out of the blue for some people, but   
I knew SEELE had to be taken care of, or else I might (gasp) have to   
write a sequel to this. Why not use Eva's "secret agent man" to handle   
the problem? Besides, I figured Misato was due for a break.  
  
Sorry, Touji-Hikari fans. But I didn't see any real chemistry between   
the two of them, so I figured breaking them up wouldn't cause that much   
havoc.  
  
I can hear the flames now, concerning the Asuka pairing. I'll admit   
right now that I got the idea for a Touji-Asuka relationship from   
Tekkaman Warhammer's "Seraphim's Judgement". It seemed to make sense   
to me; Touji was the only male in Eva that really stood up to Asuka.   
Before you flay me alive, remember that I could have paired her with   
Kensuke.  
  
In addition, with all due respect to Asuka's many fans...that scene was   
_fun_ to write.  
  
As for Gendo: I know a fair number of people pity him. And I know   
several people who'd prefer to have him apologize to his son, and try   
to make up for lost time. But DAMN that felt good. Gendo's death   
under Lillith's mask has some poetic justice, too, ne?  
  
Anyway, even though the story's done, I appreciate comments. Write me   
at otakusadist@hotmail.com.  
  
And if you like Shinji/Rei stories, go to my website at   
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei/index.html  
  
Story completed on : March 2, 2001 


End file.
